


Body and Soul

by lauwrite



Series: The Irishman and The Lady [1]
Category: The Last Kingdom (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Recovery, Romance, Slow Burn, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:48:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 50,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25556845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lauwrite/pseuds/lauwrite
Summary: Finan is finally free from years of slavery. But his body and soul are broken. However, he finds in Saegyth, a way to recover. To be a man, again.
Relationships: Finan (The Last Kingdom)/Original Character(s), Finan (The Last Kingdom)/Original Female Character(s)
Series: The Irishman and The Lady [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1852000
Comments: 91
Kudos: 125





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a short story, it will be in three parts, i have almost finished the second lmao. I think I'll use this OC to write more about Finan having a wife during seasons. In fact I have whole fanfiction in french that is only Finan and his wife throught the years and events of TLK that I have never published. Soooo I might translate some parts and publish them hehe

A raspy laugh escaped Finan's dry lips. It hurt his throat, but he couldn’t care less. He couldn’t tell if it was happiness he was feeling, he hadn’t felt it in years, but he was sure it was close too. His heart was so light and still he was beating so hard in his chest. It was like the life that was leaving Sverri’s body was now running through his veins. 

That was it. He felt alive. Alive and free. The words rang in his head.

_ I am alive and I am free. Alive and free.  _

And suddenly, as he realised the meaning of it, his body felt heavy. He fell on his knees, his legs too weak to keep him standing. He continued to laugh as he laid on the ground, his fingers brushing the grass. He stared at the sky and grabbed the wooden cross hang around his neck. He pressed it against his lips, thanking God for finally having mercy on him. 

“Are you alright?”

He let go off the cross and turned his head to the person who just spoke. For a moment, he was amazed by the woman who just crouched next to him. She had golden hair, waving in the wind like wheat in summer. For a moment, he hoped he had the strength to let his fingers run through her strands. Her eyes were fascinating as well. They were made of a deep blue, but not like the sea he had been surrounding by for three winters. They were calm and reassuring. 

Her hand found his shoulder, catching his attention. He blinked several times before finally answering. 

“I think so. I’ve just seen an angel.” He said, a smile, at least he hoped it looked like one, forming on his face. 

She chuckled and for a moment he swore it was the most beautiful sound he heard in ages. She removed her hand and grabbed a flask hang at her belt. Finan pushed himself up with his elbow as she handed him the bottle. He drank all of it, his hand shaking. The water ran down his throat, appeasing the ache of it. 

“Thank you.” He smiled, giving her back the flask.

“What’s your name?” She asked, hanging the flask back on her belt. 

He studied her a little more before answering. She was dressed as a warrior, a chest plate covering her upper body. He remembered seeing her fighting with the people who came for Uhtred. She wasn’t as skilled as the other warriors, but she fought fiercely. 

“Finan.” He watched her repeat his name silently. “Yours?” 

“Saegyth”

…

A whole day passed since they rescued Uhtred from the slave ship. Saegyth spent most of her day to help the last slaves still here. But there was one who didn’t leave. Finan stayed last night near the fire with them. 

Unlike most of the slaves she saw that day, the Irishman was more talkative. He spoke a little of what happened on the ship, what cost Halig’s life. Sometimes, his eyes were lost in the fire and darkened. The man saw much. Probably too much for one life. But almost all the time, his face would break in a smile. The smile of a broken man. 

Finan was asleep in the grass when Saegyth decided she should see how he was. She put down her bucket of fresh water and the clean clothes Hild brought back from a village near, and kneeled next his body. 

"Finan ?" She called him her hand on his shoulder. 

He slowly opened his eyes, a little confused. His fingers came to her wrist, barely touching it like to be sure she was real. As his fingertips grazed her soft skin, he smiled. She gave it back to him, studying his face a moment.

His skin was crackled and tanned because of the time he spent on the ship. His lips were in bad condition too, his flesh raw in some part. His face was half covered by his beard and his dark hair was leaving the ponytail he managed to make. The state of the man was making her heart squeezed. She didn't know much of him, but whatever he had done to be here, it could never be worth such punishment. 

Her hand left his shoulder and she tilted her head. "You slept almost the whole day. I wanted to know how you were." 

"I am fine." He answered, his eyelids half closed. 

"I brought you some clothes and water to wash you." She explained, her hands posed on the edge of the bucket. 

Finan frowned and sat up. He looked to the bucket, and seemed to hesitate. Slowly, he leant above the water, his eyes widening as he stared at his reflection. One of his fingers came touching the features of his face on the edge of the water, blurring his own reflection. Saegyth noticed the tears sparking in the sunlight in the corner of his eyes. 

"I hadn't seen my face in three winters." He declared, his gaze still fixed with his own. After a moment, he looked back to her. "I was still a boy the last time, I didn't have that beard." He chuckled even though Saegyth clearly heard the sob behind. 

She knew so little of the man and yet she couldn't help but feel so much for him. She felt this desire to help him deep in her heart. This will to learn who he was. And she knew he was much more than just a slave. 

Her hand found his face, her thumb rubbing his cheek to wipe the tears. 

"Let me help you to bring a little of that boy." She softly said. 

She searched his eyes in order to have some kind of answer. But simple nodded and her hand dropped back to her side. She took a pair of scissors and started to roughly cut his beard. Finan's fascination about his face started again. As she worked, Saegyth stared at him, wondering how he looked before. 

When she finished, Finan finally looked at her, his fingers lightly brushing what remained of his beard. 

"Thank you." He said. 

"It's normal." She smiled at him. 

He frowned a little as he thought. "You are not a Dane."

"No, I am not." She laughed, sinking a fabric in the water. 

"And you are not an abbess." He added, amusement in his voice. 

"Neither. I am a Lady." She declared as she met his deep brown eyes.

"I've never seen a Lady fought before." There was some admiration in his tone that she appreciated. 

"There's a first time for everything." She removed the fabric from the bucket and spinnered it. "Can you remove your shirt?" 

He did, grabbing the edge of what remained of the shirt and removing it. Saegyth almost gasped when he revealed his body. He was thin despite his muscles, his ribs clear under his skin. His body was a parchment on which paint cans have been accidentally spilled. There were bruises of varied colours, from purple to yellow. Scars were forming straight lines, especially in his back. And she wondered if there was still part of his skin that hadn't been damaged.

"Where did you learn to fight ?" He asked her, trying to take away her attention from his body. 

She swallowed and put the wet fabric on his arm. "Uhtred taught me when we were hiding from Danes in marshes." This was years ago, but yet it felt like yesterday. "I always wish to learn, but being of noble blood made it difficult. So, when my husband died in battle, I asked Uhtred to teach me." 

Since the first time she met the Half - Dane in Winchester, she felt some sort of fascination for him. Maybe it was youth, but she didn't regret pushing her curiosity. She discovered a man of honour and with a kindness unexpected for a Dane, after all she had heard of them. When King Alfred freed Ragnar, Uhtred's brother, she didn't hesitate to follow him to save him.

"I am sorry for your husband." He said, as he shivered when the fabric was now running in his back. 

"Don't be. He wasn't a man I chose and I was young when I was married to him." She explained, looking side as she winced.

She never loved him, neither respected him. He was a turd, to her, to other peoples and learning his death felt like a relief. She felt free and she didn't wait to experience that freedom. 

As she cleaned the most recent wounds, red and still swollen, she noticed the way his jaw clenched. How once more, his eyes were lost. And so, she spoke again, trying to distract him.

"Uhtred is a good man, King Alfred recovered his Wessex thanks to him." She told him about the many plans Uhtred came up with. But also his stupid actions that cost him the gratitude of Alfred. "Uhtred is a good strategist in battle, but he still has progress to make in politics." She chuckled, letting the now dirty fabric. 

He smiled a little, maybe he heard a different version of those stories from Uhtred. "But he is a good man." He repeated her words.

"He is." She untied his hair, dark dirty strands falling on his bare shoulders. 

Finan plunged his hands in the bucket and leaned his head. He splashed water all over his face and hair, running his fingers through it. His tongue licked droplets on his lips.

"Not salt water." He smiled, like he just discovered the existence of it. 

His joy for such a subtle thing made her heart squeezed. Her life hadn't always been made of happiness, but never simple things made her eyes spark like Finan's ones. He took water in his hands and poured it on his hair once more. Saegyth untied a ribbon around her wrist. She let her fingers gather his strands before attaching them. 

“What will you do, now?” She asked him, handing him a clean shirt. 

He grabbed it and brushed the cloth with his thumb a moment. “I thought… That maybe I should stay with Uhtred.” 

“You don’t want to go back to… To your home?” She frowned a little.

His gaze darkened and he took a deep breath, his shoulders rising before falling as he loudly exhaled.She bit her lips, regretting her question. She wanted to excuse herself, but he answered before. 

“No… There’s nothing for me there.” She nodded. “I'm free because of Uhtred. He gave me hope and strength to pass another winter.” He looked up to her, meeting her pupils. “I owe him that.” 

She couldn’t help but smile. The man lived hell for years and yet, he was ready to fight and serve a man, even if it could cost him his life. The strength he said Uhtred gave him, she was sure it had always been there in him. She put her hand on his and squeezed it lightly. 

“He’ll be glad and grateful.” 

As she removed her hand to leave, he grabbed it. She raised an eyebrow, surprised by his action. 

“Thank you.” Finan said. 

“It’s normal.” She smiled.

He shook his head. “No, it’s not. No one has ever been that kind with me. Even… Before.” 

“It’s nothing Finan, really.” She rubbed the back of his hand.

“Not for me.” 

She held her breath a moment. There was so much sincerity in his words. None of the other slaves dared to speak to her. Finan was broken, and yet the man didn’t disappear. 

“There’s a first time for everything.” She simply said. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyaa ! I am so sorry it took me so much time to write this ! But I was unsatisfied by this chap, and I'm still kinda unsatisfied in fact lmaoo. Anyway i want to continue this because I wrote a bunch of OS about those 2 (7 exactly haha) and I can't wait to share them with you.  
> Also, I am so sorry, it's so short D:

The fire was cracking in front of Finan's eyes and the heat was warming his hands as he brought them in front of him. He sighed, appreciating the warmth on his skin and the feel of having his belly fill with food. He didn't eat much, appetite was hard to find again, but not feeling hungry anymore was all he could ask for. 

Today, they rode at first light to go to Ebbchester's nunnery where Gisela, the woman Uhtred loved, was hiding. The Dane spoke so much of her during the coldest nights that Finan felt like he always had known her. She was a beautiful and kind woman. Uhtred was lucky to have her, and all the people who came to rescue him. 

To be honest, Finan envied him a little but he didn't want to ask more to God, he already had enough mercy to break his chain. He was free and that was all that matters for the moment. 

Footsteps approaching brought him out of his thoughts. He lifted his head and met Saegyth's blue eyes. The Lady had a genuine smile on her face, maybe even more warming that the fire. 

"Goodnight Lady." He smiled back.

"Call me Saegyth, Finan, I beg you. No Lady would camp in a forest in the middle of nowhere." She joked, sitting next to him. "How are you feeling?" 

"Well," He started looking back to the flames. "My body sores everywhere after that ride." 

Uhtred was so eager to find his woman that they galloped to the nunnery. Finan had to hold on to the reins and grip a bunch of his horse's hair to not fall. How glad he had been when they made their way back to the South at a slower pace. 

"Your palms?" She asked, pointing his hands covered by fabrics. 

"I didn't dare to look at it." He admitted feeling suddenly uncomfortable. 

After years of rowing, his palms had been covered by blisters that never got the time to heal. Last time, he didn't even remember when, his flesh was raw and salt water was burning it. 

"Can I look?" She demanded him, her voice reassuring as her eyes didn't leave him. 

He parted his lips, his gaze jumping between her and the flames. He exhaled and finally gave her his right hand. "That's not pretty to look at." He warned her as she delicately removed the bandage.

The fabric was dirty, impregnated with blood, sweat and sea water, and Finan had no idea what was its initial colour. He hissed when she removed the part sticking to his flesh, revealing the disaster. He looked away, not wanting to see her reaction. 

"It needs to be cleaned." She simply said, no disgust in her voice. 

She walked away and came back with a flask of water and clean pieces of cloth. Slowly, she cooled water on his hands before pressing a humid fabric on his palm. 

"Is it hurting?" She asked him, searching his eyes. 

"I had worse." He just answered. 

"It's going to take time to heal, you need to wash it regularly and change the bands." She explained wrapping his hand with a clean cloth. "But it'll be fine." She concluded, smiling again.

"I'm a lucky man, then." He said as she took his left hand, starting the same process. 

"Lucky men don't end up like this." She commented, visibly concentrated on her task.

"Lucky sinners do." Finan's voice was cold and Saegyth suddenly looked up to him. 

There was an incomprehension in her eyes and he knew right away that he had created hundreds of questions in her mind. But she didn't ask even one, and he mentally thanked her for that. She silently finished her work. 

…

It was with a certain bitterness that Saegyth came back to Winchester. The young woman used to love that city when she was a child. She loved the life in it, how so many things could happen at the same time. But since her marriage, this city felt more like a cage. As difficult as the time she spent in the marsh was, a few years ago, she appreciated the freedom she had felt there.

During their trip back to Winchester, Saegyth got to know Gisela. She liked her almost right away. She was a kind woman whose company was more than appreciated. She was making Uhtred so happy, and after seeing him after Iseult’s death and then slavery, it was good to see him with a smile on his face.

Another smile that she grew to like was Finan’s one. The Irishman kept his words and followed Uhtred down south, back to Wessex. In opposition to Saegyth, he seemed more than happy to enter the city and, even more, when Ragnar proposed to go and drink in a tavern. Saegyth could easily understand his joy, and hearing him laugh with the other men as ale was filling their cups, made her forget her own sorrows. 

Night had fallen hours ago when they finally left the alehouse. Saegyth was firmly holding Finan’s arm as they walked into the streets of Winchester. The poor Irishman hadn’t drunk ale in years and was now struggling to walk in straight lines. She led him to her house. Earlier today, she proposed to him to stay a few nights at her place. He first gently refused but after she insisted, he finally agreed. After all he didn’t have somewhere else to go. 

She unlocked the door of her house and pushed it gently. “Welcome into my little house.” 

Finan stepped inside and looked around. It was quite simple, but all the fournitures was of good quality. “How is it that you don’t live in Winchester’s palace?” 

Saegyth didn’t answer, even if she expected such a question at any moment. After all, a lady living alone wasn’t trivial. But Finan started to excuse himself for his rudeness.

“No, that’s okay.” She smiled at him, waving in the air with both her hands. “After my husband’s death, my brother had the kindness to let me use his money as I wished, and live the life I wanted.”

She appreciated the look that gave her Finan, there was some sort of admiration as he smiled. "Ya're an independent woman." 

"I'm trying my best to be." She smiled. "Anyway, come, I'll show you your room."

She walked to a door, Finan just behind. She pushed it and leaned against the wood as the Irishman entered the bedroom. He fell on the bed, half-laying on it with a breathless laugh. 

"A real bed." He grinned.

"I hope it's comfortable enough." She said, crossing her arms on her chest.

"I could sleep on straw, ya know." He admitted, closing his eyes. 

She tenderly smiled at him as she studied him. Only a few days had passed since she met him on the beach and he was starting to look better. The bags under his eyes were slowly disappearing and his multiple wounds were healing. She had no doubt than in a month or two he would have a less worrying aspect. 

"Well, I'll let you sleep." She pushed herself away from the door and he opened his eyes, sitting up. "Goodnight, Finan." 

"Goodnight, Saegyth."


	3. Chapter 3

"So you gave your oath to Alfred?" 

Uhtred nodded, taking a sip of the ale Saegyth just served him. The blonde woman gave him a long stare. She knew it wasn't in Uhtred's plan to serve once again the King of Wessex.

She sighed, taking a seat next to Finan who had remained silent since the beginning of the conversation, as well as Gisela, just in front of her. 

"So, what are your plans, now?" She asked him, crossing her fingers together in front of her. 

The Dane ran a hand in his short hair. "Alfred wants me to go to Cumberland and kill the Brothers for that bastard Guthred." He growled. 

Saegyth gritted her teeth, she couldn't prevent an anger towards Alfred to grow in her chest and it seemed that Finan felt the same. For a brief instant, she noticed how tensed his fingers were around his cup. 

"I'll go with you, Uhtred. My sword is yours." Finan vowed, his dark eyes meeting Uhtred's blue ones in a long stare full of gratitude. 

"I also want to come." Saegyth declared, determined. 

She expected to receive a similar look than he gave to Finan, but Uhtred avoided her eyes, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'd like you to stay here, Saegyth." He finally said and for a moment she thought he was joking. 

"What? But why?" 

"I would like you to stay here, in Winchester with Gisela." He explained. "You're one of my most trusted friends Saegyth. A Dane woman alone here in Winchester, we both know it's not without risks." 

"She can come with us!" She protested, raising a hand in the air. 

"Saegyth, she'll be safer here. With you." Uhtred insisted, grabbing her hand. 

Saegyth chewed the inside of her cheek before exhaling. She hated having to stay behind, but Uhtred was right, so she accepted. Gisela thanked her and she gave her a smile in return. But disappointment was still deep and she did her best to look happy when Uhtred announced to them that he and Gisela would get married tomorrow morning, before they left for the North. But she supposed she failed to hide it because Finan sorry eyes barely left her during the rest of the conversation. 

"I'm sorry he didn't let you come." Finan told her, once they were again just the two of them in her house.

"There will be other battles." She replied, bitterness tinting her words. "Anyway." She said, standing up. "I need to go to the market." 

Her hand flat on the table, she took a moment before walking away to her room to take some pieces of bronze, hidden under her bed. When she walked back, Finan was near the door, ready to go. 

"I'll come with ya." He smiled. 

"You can stay here and rest." She proposed to him, though she appreciated that he wanted to accompany her. "After all, I am an independent woman." She smirked, staring at him from the corner of her eyes as she took a basket. 

"I'm not really the restless kind." He shrugged maliciously. 

…

Waves were crashing on the hull in a horrific loud noise, making the wood tremble. Or maybe it was the thunder ? When Finan was looking up, the sky was dark and lightnings were illuminating it from time to time. The sound of swell was mixed with the slaver's voices, shouting and making their lash split the air. 

All the noises made Finan's head sore. He tried to put his hands on his ears, but he couldn't. His palms were stuck on the oars, and each time he was trying to remove them, he felt his skin leave his flesh. Tears were streaming down his face, salt as the sea water. The taste of them on his lips made him feel sick, his stomach flipping and his body shaking. 

He squeezed his eyes shut, twisted his body to the side, ready to regurgitate the content of his belly, but nothing came. When he opened his eyes, he wasn't on the slave ship anymore, but in a bed, leaned on a side, his face in front of the floor. He took a few deep breaths, his members still trembling. 

"It was a nightmare." He whispered to himself before rolling on his back. "Just a nightmare." He repeated, his hand on his heart, in hope it would make it beat slower.

He ran his fingers in his long hair, sweat wetting a few strands. He studied the darkness around him, anxiety running in his veins as he sat up. His mouth was dry, so he slipped out of the bed and managed to find the door in the dark. 

The living room was barely illuminated by the moon and he stumbled against a chair as he searched a cup. He cursed in his beard, hoping he hadn't woken up Saegyth, but when he heard the sound of her door, he quickly knew he had failed. 

"Finan?" She called him, rubbing her face. 

He couldn't see much of her face in this darkness, but he could easily imagine her tired features. 

"Aye… I'm sorry, I woke ya up." He stammered, embarrassed and the afterwards of the nightmare still having effects on him. 

He felt her eyes studying him as she stepped toward him. He studied her as well, observing how her hair was falling in golden cascades on the shawl wrapped around her shoulders. 

"Are you alright?" She asked him, her hand touching his arm.

He shook his head up and down but she wasn't convinced. However, she simply squeezed his biceps before walking away. With her probable habit to walk in the darkness of her house, she came back with a cup and a pitcher of water. She filled it before handing him the cup. He tried his best to stop the shaking of his hand, but when his fingers brushed Saegyth's, she noticed it. 

"Finan?" She lifted her gaze to his and she was now close enough for him to admire how piercing the blue of her eyes was. It made him think of a lake in summer, clear and calm. "Are you alright?" 

"'I'd a nightmare." He admitted coldly, not living her eyes. Her eyebrows briefly furrowed, destabilised by his tone. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked and Finan could only open his mouth, no sound escaping it. He had no idea if he wanted to share it. 

It was a purulent wound and speaking of it would be like throwing alcohol on it, and he didn't know if he had the strength to endure the pain. 

"I dunno." 

…

When Saegyth woke up, she wasn't in her bed, but in Finan's. She yawned and noticed that she was alone in it, a relief and a worry at the same time. But she mostly felt bad for falling asleep in his bed.

After their little discussion in the living room, she proposed to him to go back to his room and just talk of whatever could change his mind. She remembered talking of Winchester, how was the life here and why she liked it as a child. She spoke of her home too, in Bristol, where her last brother was Lord. But she didn't remember falling asleep. 

It was ashamed that she walked out of the bedroom to find Finan lacing his leather chest armour that he took to a slaver on the beach in Northumbria. He had told her that he hated wearing it and the moment he'd have enough money he would by himself a new armour. 

"Good morning." He smiled at her, radiant. 

She was surprised to see him in such a good mood after last night. But she was relieved he was feeling better, so she shyly smiled back. "Good morning. I am sorry, I stole your bed." 

"It's still your house. And I couldn't find sleep, anyway." He shrugged, attaching his right vambrace. 

He struggled with the laces, hard to tie with one hand, so Saegyth came to help him. Once she was done with the second, she reminded herself of something.

"I have something for you." She declared as she walked to her room. 

She opened a huge box where she stacked all the stuff of her husband she didn't sell yet. She took a sword, wrapped in a thin cover and came back with it into the living room. She removed the fabric to reveal a blade carefully polished. 

"This isn't your sword." He noticed as his fingers grazed the cold steel. 

"No, it was my husband's sword. It's too heavy for me." She explained.

"I can't accept Saegyth, it's too much." Finan said, his embarrassment clear behind his eyes. 

But Saegyth shook her head, handing him the sword. "It will be of no use for me. It's just waiting the day I'll make it melt. So I guess it can make spill some more blood before." A breathless laugh escape her lips as she raised her shoulders. 

Finan hesitated a moment before finally grabbing the sword. He tested his weight before stepping away from Saegyth and splitting the air with it. The whistle of the blade resound in the room, making Finan smile. 

"I'll give it back to ya." He assured her. 

"Thank you, but trust me, I have no attachment in it." She replied. This was just a bunch of steel for her, nothing more.

"It still has a value." He said, slipping the blade in the sheath hung on his belt. He turned to her and a genuine smile was lightening his face, and for a moment it even masked the scars and wounds on his skin. "Thank you, Saegyth." 

"You'll thank me when you'll come back alive."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ehehe I was inspired it seems. So don't worry, next chap won't be just what happens in Cumberland, that would be of no use.  
> Anyway, I hope you liked it and see you soon lovelies ;)


	4. Chapter 4

"For how long have you known Uhtred?" Gisela asked curiously Saegyth, handing her a wet plate for her to wipe. 

The blonde woman looked up to the cellar, thinking of it. The men left a week ago and since two days, Gisela never stopped asking questions about her and Uhtred. There was no jealousy in her tone, just a desire to learn more about her now husband. 

"Five years maybe ? The first time I saw him, he was waiting in the courtyard." She explained, adding the plate to a pile on a shelf. "He was probably waiting for Alfred to finish to pray, with the exasperated look he had that day." She chuckled. 

Gisela laughed with her, visibly imagining Uhtred's pouting features. She had known little of him that year, only what the palace's whispers said of him. The same year, she was losing her husband in the battle that cost King Aethelred's life. As much as she disliked him, she couldn't deny that his death had been a real shock. For the first time in her life, no man had a right on her. Her father was dead and her last brother didn't see any need to marry her. 

He kept telling her that he did it for her, because he wanted her to be happy and free, but she knew there was another reason. She had never succeeded to give a child to her husband. 

"Has he always been so bitter towards King Alfred?" Gisela asked, wiping her hands on her dress. 

"Not always. But Alfred… Alfred is and will remain a tactician. Every decision he makes is calculated and serves a precise purpose. That's what makes him a good King." Saegyth explained. 

She shared a knowing look with the Dane, she seemed to understand that saving Uhtred from slavery was only a move on Alfred's huge game. 

"Anyway, if Alfred wants to keep Uhtred by his side, he might give him lands." She said, crossing her arms against her chest. 

"You think so?" Gisela queried. 

"Uhtred is a Lord." She shrugged. "That's the least he deserves if Alfreds wants him to fight for him." 

Gisela silently nodded and Saegyth softly rubbed her arms with her hand. This was a total new life for the Danish Lady and sometimes she seemed a little take aback by the events. But Saegyth had no doubt she would soon enough get used to this new life. Gisela was a smart and kind woman and she was glad to have met her. 

Days passed and they got no word of Uhtred or any of the men accompanying them. But Saegyth was confident, at least she tried to be for Gisela. Sometimes, her mind was wondering about Finan, which came as a surprise to her. Did he change his bandages as she commended him to do regularly? Did his appetite come back? But mostly, did he have another nightmare? She had been so destabilised that night, she had wanted to help him. But what could she have done? The least she could do was to change his mind and she hoped she succeeded. 

As each month, Lady Aelswith invited her to pray. They weren't the greatest friends, but the King's wife had always been kind to her, even if her way of life wasn't what she would expect of a Lady. So, from time to time, the Aelswith was mentioning some Lord of a far away estate that was in search of a new wife. 

"You are a young and beautiful woman Saegyth, any man would beg to marry you." Aelswith cajoled her, taking her hands as they stepped out of the church after she told her of another man.

Saegyth pretended to think of her proposition before letting her softest smile spread on her lips. "I will think of it, Lady Aelswith. I promise." But the answer was already clear in her head. She wouldn't marry another man she knew nothing about. 

But her answer seemed to please Aelswith and she let her go after kissing her cheek.

As she reached her house, a deep joy grew in her heart. In front of her door, Gisela and Uhtred were hugging each other, relieved to finally see each other again. She stepped to welcome her friend but her attention got drawn by an Irish voice further in the street.

"It's good to see you in one piece, Finan." She greeted him as he turned away from the young man he was talking to.

"I told ya I'd give this sword back to ya." He reminded her, his fingers drumming on the handle. 

She studied him briefly and was glad to see that he looked better. She found something different in his features, as if they were more relaxed. She stopped her introspection, fearing it would start to be embarrassing and turned her attention to the young man with him and the giant behind. 

The young one had a slender build and hypnotic differently coloured eyes. From the hammer hanging around his neck, she guessed he was Dane. The giant, there was hardly another word to describe him, was just a bunch of muscles but his face looked weirdly sympathetic with his white moustache. 

"I don't think we ever met." She said cheerfully. "I am Saegyth."

"It's a pleasure Lady." Replied the giant. "I'm Clapa." 

She nodded and waited the Dane's answer, but he didn't give his name. 

"You were with Ragnar, when he came to Eoferwic." He told and Saegyth's eyebrows furrowed. She had no memory of this young Dane, however he was perfectly right. 

Suddenly, she remembered the word Hild received with Gisela's location. She had discussed it with Ragnar later that day and mentioned the name of Kjartan's bastard son. Ragnar had been dubious on trusting the boy, but the nun had seemed confident. 

"You are Sihtric." She declared, finally putting a finger on the name Hild said.

"I am, Lady."

"For God sake, do not call me Lady." She sighed and Finan's laugh rang in her ears, a sound that warmed her heart. "Where is Hild? And Beocca?" She asked Finan as his hands clung to his belt.

"At Beocca's house, with Uhtred's sister." He explained, his tone strangely heavy and serious. 

"Uhtred's sister? You took back Dunholm?" She asked, surprised by the news. 

"We did." Uhtred confirmed behind, a clear pride pulling the smile on his lips. "Kjartan is dead and Ragnar has been avenged." 

"That's good." She smiled before taking him in her arms. "I am happy for you, Uhtred." She pulled back enough to see his face and he kissed her forehead. 

…

"I hope it's not going to be a habit that I have to take you home when you are drunk." Saegyth giggled as she walked in front of Finan. 

"I'm not drunk, lass." He retorted catching up the few steps separating them, careful to not stumble or tangle his feet. "See?" He smirked, raising his hands. 

She dubiously looked at him from feet to head. "Right. But I didn't want to hear you banging in each chair of my house, anyway." She bantered. Finan laughed heartily, a hand on his chest. 

Tonight, they had drunk to their victory in Dunholm, that they obviously already celebrated more than once, and their return to Winchester. Finan hadn't felt so happy in years, and the feeling was beginning to be quite addictive. 

Once they were in Saegyth's house, he let himself fall on a chair. He closed his eyes, the sweet feeling of sleep after drinking overwhelming his body. 

"So, I supposed you enjoyed the battle." Saegyth hinted, closing the door. 

Finan opened his eyes and wondered if she was still disappointed to not have come with them. "I did." He admitted. "It felt good to be a warrior again."

In fact, Finan couldn't remember a day when he had fought so fiercely. He doubted he had been the best of the warriors standing during this battle, but he had felt so much rage as he killed the Danes. To be true, it wasn't them he was fighting. He couldn't remember any of the faces of the men he killed in Dunholm. All he had seen was the face of those who betrayed him and the slavers who tried to break him. 

"You have never stopped being a warrior, Finan." Saegyth said with sincerity that made Finan's heart flutter. 

"How can ya tell that?" He asked, almost shyly, looking down. 

She walked to him and crouched in front of him, forcing their eyes to meet again. "Only a warrior could have survived what you've been through." 

Finan's eyebrows furrowed. "Ya don't know much of it." 

"No I don't. But your body tells enough." She took his hand delicately, her fingers brushing the bandages. "You are a warrior, you've always been one and you will always be one. Never doubt that."

Finan had never expected words to mean so much to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ehehe I hope you liked this chap. I am trying to develop Saegyth back story slowly.   
> I swear I cant wait to finish this and start developing their married life D:


	5. Chapter 5

"Careful, it's hot." Saegyth warned Thyra as she gave her a hand to help her to enter the bath. 

This morning, Saegyth had been to Beocca's house after hearing of Thyra's state from Uhtred. She had thought that a hot bath was the least the woman deserved and Thyra was now in Sagyth's house with Hild. 

Saegyth tenderly smiled at Thyra, noticing how she seemed hesitant to put a foot in the water or to hold her hand. She looked at Hild, carrying some clean cloth, and she gave her an approval nod. Thyra took the blonde Lady's hand and walked in the bath. A visible shiver shook her naked body as she immersed it in the water. The nun crouched near the bathtub and soaked a cloth before slowly running it on Thyra's pale skin.

Once Thyra was clean and out of the water, Saegyth gathered the fabrics and washed them while Hild was helping Thyra to dress up. 

"Father Beocca?" Saegyth exclaimed, surprised to see him in front of her house as she walked out to hang the clothes. "Have you been here for long?" 

"Maybe, I came after my meeting with the King. How is she?" He asked her, his face twisted with worry.

"She's fine. She needs time, and rest." She explained to him and Beocca's face seemed to release itself from his anxiety. 

"Good. That's good." He clasped his hands together. 

"I've never seen you so worried, Father." Saegyth noticed, gently smiling and squeezing his shoulder. The priest searched his words a moment, probably not expecting her remark. "She'll be fine." She finally said as no words came out of Beocca's mouth.

Thyra's recovery was long, it took three weeks for her to speak a word again and to stop jumping at any too abrupt move. It was long but Saegyth and Hild were optimistic. The woman had took Finan's place in Saegyth's guest room, and now her house was much more silent. Every day, Father Beocca came to knock at her door and take news of the Danish girl, sometimes he even spent lunch. 

During those weeks, Uhtred and his newly men got sent all around Mercia by Alfred to hold the peace with the Danes. Saegyth envied them, travelling and fighting was something she hoped she could do with them, but she had to satisfy herself with the men's stories when they were back in Winchester. Her favourite story teller was probably Finan. He had the talent to transform the most banal stories into catchy ones. 

Now that Finan wasn't sleeping at her house anymore, she had less occasion to see him. Sometimes she would see him training with Uhtred, Sihtric or Clapa out of Winchester's walls. His long hair attached back and his tunic rid of its sleeves, he was handling his sword as it was a feather. It made her smile, the image of him barely able to lift the weapon in front of him at the beach seeming now so long ago.

In the end of summer, Gisela found herself pregnant. Uhtred was the happiest man and they feasted at the Two Cranes a whole night. Saegyth was happy for her friend, but her mind couldn't help but remind her of her own losses. So she slipped away from the tavern, her eyes wet as she walked in the streets, back to her house. 

"Saegyth!" 

She jumped at the sound of her name, wiping her eyes as she turned around to face Finan. His usual smile was lightening his face as he walked toward her. 

"A Lady shouldn't go back home alone at this hour." He explained, catching up the few steps between them. "Thought I could accompany you, after all I owe you tha'." 

"Thank you, Finan." She tried to gather herself to not show her momentary sadness, but she couldn't help but sniffle.

Finan's smile dropped letting a more concerned expression take place. "Are you alright?" 

"Yes, I am just happy for Gisela." She tried to look more joyful but the Irishman seemed to not be easily fooled.

"Those aren't happy tears." He noticed as a salty drop rolled on her cheek. 

She clenched her jaw as much as she could, but nothing could stop the tears from falling. She wiped them with the back of her hand, closing her eyes and in this small matter of time, she found herself in Finan's arms. She didn't know how to act, not expecting him to hug her, but as the way his hands were weirdly searching somewhere to rest, she understood he wasn't comfortable either. And yet, he continued to hold her, her head against his chest as he gently rubbed her back. Even when her sobs quietened, he kept his arms wrapped around her. 

"I lost a child, thrice." She whispered and she felt him hold her a little tighter. "I'm truly happy for Gisela, but it just brought back memories." 

"That's alright." He pushed away from her but his hands remained on her shoulder. He leaned a little so his gaze could meet hers. "We all have bad memories." A genuine smile curved his lips and the only vision of it seemed to soften her pain. "Now, let's get ya home." He proposed and she nodded. 

…

The sound of the front door opening woke up Finan. He lifted his head from his crossed arms on the table, blinking until he recognized the three persons walking in. 

"Finan? What are you doing here?" Hild asked, Thyra by her side, taking the direction of the guest room. 

"Saegyth wasn't feelin' well, so I brought her home." He explained as he leaned back in the chair to stretch. 

Beocca, who was standing in the doorway, briefly looked towards Saegyth's room, seeming sorry and Finan wondered if he knew about her losses. 

He stood up, rubbing the back of his neck. "I should go. Goodnight Father." 

As he walked back to the tavern where he was sleeping, he thought back to their embrace earlier. He hadn't hugged anyone in years, nor someone did it to him, and as much as he hadn't been comfortable, it had felt right to do it. Even more when it had seemed to soothe her. 

The next morning, he was pleased to see her giggle as she talked with Gisela outside of Uhtred's small house, through the open door. She must have felt him staring because she caught his gaze a few seconds, that seemed the longest of his life as a shy smile spread on her lips. He didn't have the time to give it back to her, Uhtred's voice taking back his attention. 

"Alfred thinks of giving me lands." The Dane announced, pouring ale in Finan's cup. 

"That's the least he could do, you are a Lord after all." Finan replied, raising his cup. 

Uhtred agreed and sat in front of him. "He talked of Coccham, a small village near the Mercian border." 

"I heard it was lovely there." Saegyth commented as she walked in with Gisela. "There's a river who joins the Thames, it's good for trade."

"Will you accept?" Gisela asked, her hands gently squeezing his shoulders. 

"I will. When he'll make it official. Before winter I hope." He sighed before taking a sip of ale. 

"I shall come with you, when you'll leave for Coccham." Saegyth declared and Uhtred almost choked with his drink. 

He cleared his throat. "What?" 

"I have been waiting for an occasion to definitely leave Winchester for years Uhtred, and there it is." She explained. 

"And what will you do in Coccham?" Uhtred was visibly dubious, leaning forward in his chair, Gisela's hands leaving his shoulders. 

"I'll fight." She said with determination. 

"Fight?" He raised an eyebrow. "You're a lady, Saegyth." 

"I am aware, thank you." She snapped. "I want to fight, Uhtred. And if you don't want me, then I shall go to Dunholm and ask Ragnar! I'm sure he knows my value."

Uhtred waved his hand to stop her while Finan and Gisela were vainly trying to not laugh as the blonde woman was daring him to refuse. A whole silent fight seemed to happen as the two old friends stared at each other. But finally, Uhtred sighed defeatedly. 

"Alright you can come. But, you'll need to train before joining us in any fight." 

She opened her mouth, probably to protest Uhtred's decision, but she closed it right away and simply thanked him gratefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I live for the slow burn, did you know that ? Well is it really slow burn ? Uhuh will see lmaoo  
> Anyway ! Thank you for the kudos and for reading! Don't hesitate to comment, it's always good to have some opinions, good or bad, that's how we improve :))  
> Love yall !


	6. Chapter 6

"God damn it!" 

Saegyth fell back on the floor, her sword escaping from her fingers, just in front of Finan. The Irishman avoided stepping on her by a hair's breadth as Clapa was coming upon him in a strong attack with his axe. 

"Sweet Jesus, lass. I almost stepped on ya." Finan gave her his hand, once Clapa had stepped back. She grabbed it and he pulled her up.

"Sorry, I didn't expect Sihtric to strike so hard." She explained, dusting her pants.

Finan glanced between her and Sihtric, a few steps away from them. "Ya're too light on your feet." He commented. 

"Take back your positions." Uhtred commended from the edge of Coccham's practice field.

Saegyth took her wooden sword on the floor and positioned herself in front of Sihtric. Finan studied her legs and slipped behind her. 

"Your feet are too close, no doubt ya lost balance." With his own foot, he pushed her front one, spreading her legs more. "And bend your knees." The tip of his sword tapped the back of her knee and she did as he instructed. 

Finan gave a nod to Sihtric and he ran toward her, raising his axe to strike Saegyth to the shoulder. This time she succeeded to damp, her feet sliding a little in the mud, but she put enough strength in her sword arm to deflect the wooden axe. For a second, Sihtric's side was open for an attack, but Finan didn't expect Saegyth to take advantage of it.

She folded her free arm and pushed her elbow into the Dane's liver. Sihtric stumbled back, his free hand covering just where Saegyth hurt him. Finan remained astonished by the rapidity of her move and when he glanced at Uhtred, he noticed the pride in his smile. 

It has been two months since they were currently living in Coccham, and during these two months, Saegyth didn't miss any training. She used to already have the basics, but in real battle, no mistakes were possible, and she used to make a lot. 

She didn't let Sihtric time to recover, Saegyth was already fading toward him, her sword ready to slice his chest. He tried to block her stroke with the handle of his axe but the wooden blade hit his fingers and he dropped the weapon. 

"That's better." Uhtred complimented and Saegyth brightly smiled at him before patting Sihtric's shoulder.

"He let me win." She said but quickly Finan denied. 

"Ya've become quick, lass, and more attentive to his openings." He commented and as he spoke, Saegyth's smile seemed to turn to a softer one. 

Her cheeks were slightly red as he crossed her gaze and her shoulders were rising smoothly, catching her breath back. Golden strands were falling from her braid, flying in the soft wind and he couldn't help but think of the first time he saw her. How beautiful he found her, and how beautiful she still was. "Thank you Finan."

He didn't have the luck to stare into her ocean eyes longer, Gisela's voice taking all of their attention. 

"Rypere is back." She announced, her hand curved on the side of her belly. 

They all gathered in the Great Hall standing in the middle of Coccham. Finan sat on a chair, playing with a strand who fell from his ponytail, curling it around his finger as Rypere talked. 

"They are twenty-four, Lord, all good fighters." He started to explain while eating. "They intend to go back to the North, to the River Thames. Apparently a boat will wait for them along the Daneland's border." 

"How many villagers did they already capture?" Uhtred asked, leaning forward in his chair. From the way his fingers were drumming on the table, Finan knew Uhtred was burning from the inside of impatience to kill those slavers, as he was. 

"Fifty, only women and children. They killed the men who survived the raids." The spy answered, shifting in his seat. 

"Then, they are slow, Lord." Saegyth commented and Finan nodded, finding it fair.

"We could easily arrive before them." Finan proposed.

Uhtred looked alternatively Saegyth and Finan before joining his hands to think. "If we leave tomorrow, we could stop them before they reach the Thames. Are they planning to attack other villages?" 

"They sent men to Shoreham, they might attack it." Uhtred's eyebrows furrowed. "They were two days' ride from the village when I left." 

Uhtred nodded and looked back to Finan, a small smirk curving the corner of his lips. "This our chance then."

"T'is, Lord." 

…

A soft cold wind made a shiver run in Saegyth's back as she walked out of the house she was sharing with Hild. The warrior nun was long asleep but Saegyth couldn't find it. They would leave in the morning for Shoreham and the thought of the fight in coming had kept her awake. So she silently walked in Coccham's streets. 

Each passing day, Saegyth was loving even more the small village. The life here was simpler but nonetheless boring. There were always things to do to help the villagers. 

Suddenly, a sound in the stables got her attention. She frowned, there was no light in the groom's house, no one should be in. Therefore, she could distinguish a thin line of light under the door. She approached and cautiously pushed the big door. She walked in, a torch burning against a wall lightening half of the alley. 

"Who's there?" She called through the building. 

"Saegyth?" Finan's head popped from behind a wall, visibly intrigued by her presence. He pushed the small door and left the horse after giving him the straw he brushed him with. "What are ya doin' here ?" 

"I could ask you the same question." She shrugged and Finan huffed, giving her a point. 

They remained silent a moment. During the past two months, they never really had the time to speak so much. Of course they saw each other every day during dinners and training, but they were never alone. And now that they were, just the two of them, she didn't even find something to say. 

"You're lucky the groom isn't awake. Aelwulf doesn't like when people sneak in the stable during night." Of course Finan knew it, everybody knew it, but she felt the need to fill the silence.

"Aye, but he didn't catch me yet." He winked, his hand clung to the small stable's door. 

She took the few steps separating them to rub the horse's nose. "Do you come here often?" She asked him, turning her head to take a brief look at him. His hair was detached, and quite messy, and his skin was darker under his eyes. 

He took a moment to answer, giving Saegyth an idea of the problem. The nightmares didn't stop. They didn't talk about it since it happened in her house in Winchester, she didn't want to be too intrusive. 

"Horses are good companions for long sleepless nights." He simply said, patting the animal's neck. 

She nodded silently, her gaze not living his face, and she felt as if his brown pupils got darker than usual. She caressed the horse until her hand met his, fingers lightly touching. That other night in Winchester, when he took her in his arms, he had succeeded to ease your pain, for a night at least. She hoped she could do the same to him. 

"I keep having nightmares." He admitted, his hand leaving the horse's coat. He sat on the floor, his back against the door. "I thought Coccham's peace would make them fade. But it didn't." Saegyth looked down to him, his hair was hiding his face from her, but she could hear the despair in his voice. "I fear they'll never stop." 

"It will." She said, her tone so dry it almost sounded as an evidence, but Finan raised dubious eyes to her. She took a deep breath and knelt in front of him. "It will Finan. It's just a wound and as your body, it will heal." She slowly took one of his hands and her finger traced the swollen pink skin in the middle of his palm. "You'll keep the scar all your life, but the pain will soften." She finally grabbed his hand and squeezed it tenderly. "Trust me." 

Finan's fingers formed small rounds on her skin and she felt suddenly aware of their closeness, but she felt no need to push herself away and he didn't seem to want her too. A smile spread on his lips as he looked up to her. "Ya're good with words." 

"It wasn't the purpose." She lightly chuckled. "But I'll take the compliment." 

He let go of her hand and she came to sit next to him, her shoulder touching his. "Ya still haven't told me why ya're awake." He noted turning his head to hers. 

"I think I'm quite nervous about the fight." She explained. 

"It's not your first though." 

Saegyth shook her head. "My first real fight was on the beach. But I had only in mind to save Uhtred, it kept my thoughts away from the fight that had to happen." 

In fact, she remembered little of the fight, only her rage to save her friend. A man who had seen her as more than just a pretty flower, to whom she owed so much.

"Did you kill your first man there?" He asked and she shook her head. 

"It was three years before, when Winchester had been taken by Guthrum." She could still feel how her dagger pierced the flesh and the warmth of the blood on her fingers. "I barely knew how to use a dagger." She let out a breath laugh, she had been so close to die. "But I guess it was him or me." 

"So ya've always been a strong woman." 

Saegyth turned her head to cross his eyes but he was staring up to the cellar. "Is that what you think of me?" She curiously asked. 

He closed his eyes and the words fell softly from his lips "One of many things." 

He looked back to her and something sparked in his eyes, the despair that once darkened them fading. She found fascinating how those deep brown pupils could show so much of him and not enough at the same time. 

Finan blinked a few times before standing up. "I think we should go back to our beds. We have a long road tomorrow."

She took the hand he stretched toward her and he pulled her up. They walked back outside, Finan grabbing the torch and accompanying her to her house. He wished her a goodnight before leaving in front of her door. She watched him disappear and finally walked back inside her house. This time, sleep took her without hesitation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A small time jump my friends ! I really appreciated writing this chapter ! I hope you liked it as much as me !


	7. Chapter 7

"We should take them by surprise." Finan proposed, standing next to the fire. 

Saegyth looked up to him, his silhouette illuminated by the soft light of the flames. They were at half a day's ride of Shoreham and they decided to make camp for the night. 

"We wait around the village, and when we see them, we attack." He explained and Uhtred seemed to agree.

"Should we advertise the villagers?" Saegyth asked, tightening the cover around her shoulders. 

Uhtred shook his head vigorously. "No, if they act differently, the slavers might get suspicious." He threw more wood in the fire, flames growing for a brief moment. The night was cold and the warm of the campfire was comforting. "We will divide ourselves into 4 groups, North, East, South and West." 

The next day, Finan and Uhtred's plan was set up. Saegyth was in the Southern group, with the Irishman and three other men. They hid themselves in an old house of stones, partially in ruine. The wait was long, almost unbearable, and after watching the sunset from the small window, Saegyth sat back on the cold floor. Against the parallel wall, Finan was braiding his hair. She frowned, she had never seen doing it, but with the dexterity of his fingers as he interlaced the dark strands, she guessed it wasn't the first time. 

She stood up and went to sit next to him. Her curiosity must have been quite visible because he answered the question she didn't even have the time to ask. 

"The warriors braid their hair like this where I come from." He explained, gathering the three braids he made into a ponytail. 

Saegyth's eyes got attracted by the ribbon he took to tie his hair. It was the same she gave him on the beach. "You kept my ribbon." 

Finan chuckled lightly. "Aye, it's for luck." 

Saegyth lips parted, not expecting such an answer. But she couldn't help but feel touched. "I don't remember telling you it would bring you good luck." 

"Well, I'm still alive, so it must work." He smiled at her and she felt as if her whole body was burning, but it wasn't aching.

"Finan!" One of the men called, making the feeling disappear. "There's movement out there." He pointed at a window and Finan stood up to watch through it. 

He said nothing for a moment, concentrated and then he finally turned to Saegyth. "Go warn the others." 

She nodded quickly and walked out of the house by the north door. She crouched to not get caught, her fingers wandering around the handle of her sword. The darkness covered her as she advanced in the high grass. Once she reached the village, she straightened up and ran, staying close to the house's walls. She had to join the Northern group, Uhtred's one, who would send two other men to warn the last groups and finally gather all the men to the South.

Her walk went well and when she reached the North of the village, she made herself noticeable for a brief moment. A few minutes after Uhtred and Clapa were joining her, two other men took the directions of the West and East. 

They all took place silently in the village, hiding against walls or trees. Saegyth's breath was short but Sihtric's hand on her shoulder calmed her a little. In the past months, she had learned to know him, piercing the hard shell he built after years being at the mercy of his terrible father. Sihtric was a sweet boy, a year younger than her, and adding that he was discreet, there was nothing he could miss, making him the best of Uhtred's spies, which seemed to make him proud. 

She exhaled and closed her eyes. She had trained two months for this moment, this was no time to fail. She couldn't fail, because there would be no second chance. 

The loud scream of rage made her eyes snapped open. The slavers were running into the village and Uhtred jumped out of his hiding place, screaming back, before any Dane had the chance to enter one of the houses. Sihtric patted her shoulder and they walked out as well. 

All seemed to go so fast. Saegyth took out her sword from its scabbard just in time to tear apart the arm of a man coming toward her. She walked back, surprised by the blood tinting the man's tunic as much as him, before flipping her sword to push the blade in his belly. He fell to his knees and she removed her sword, helping herself with her foot. The whistle sound of steel ringed in her left ear and she raised her sword to ward off. The strike was rough and she stepped back, groaning as she tried to push away her opponent's sword. 

"Saegyth!" She heard Finan's voice at her right. "Behind ya!" 

She briefly took a look above her shoulder and a giant was running toward her, axe raised high. She waited the last minute to let go of her sword and stepped aside, his first opponent falling slightly forward after the loss of resistance. The second didn't have the time to slow his movements that the axe got stuck in the first's shoulder. 

"You whore!" The giant screamed, removing the axe of his comrade. 

He walked toward her, determined to strike her down this time. Saegyth couldn't only avoid his attacks, jumping back and aside, her sword still on the floor. But by dint of stepping back, her back finally hit a wall. She was trapped and the Dane was grinning. 

"You saxon whore, I'll show you how-" 

His last words remained stuck in his throat, a dagger piercing it as an arm was above his shoulder. The Dane fell on the floor and Saegyth discovered Finan, falling with him after he had jumped on his back to stab him. She gave him her hand to help him standing up and she felt his gaze studying her for a brief moment. She shivered, noticing how Finan's eyes were filled with rage.

"Are ya alright?" He asked, breathless. 

"I am." She reassured him. 

By the time they walked back to the heart of the fight, most of the Danes were dead and Uhtred was ordering to keep one alive. Once there was calm again, frightened villagers started to walk out of their house. 

"Where are the others?" Uhtred interrogated one of the survivors. 

"A- At an hour from here. Down south." The man confessed, the blade against his throat enough to scare him.

Uhtred grabbed his collar to make him stand up and ordered men to come with him, counting Finan and Clapa. 

"Saegyth and Sihtric, you stay here and take care of the wounded." He commended. Fortunately, the wounded were few and none were too seriously injured.

…

Finan was staring intently at the fire in front of him, images of the fight coming in his mind. The slavers' camp had been easy to take down, only three men remaining there. Now they were going down South, following the path the Dane took so the villagers could go back safely to their homes. 

He looked away when Saegyth came to sit next to him. He had been keeping an eye on her during the whole fight, impressed by how she had been fighting, her movements quick and calculated. But the giant Dane would have killed if he hadn't run to them. 

"Are ya alright?" He asked her. 

She shook her head up and down. "Thank you, for saving me." 

"I thought ya could still be useful." He joked and she elbowed him in the ribs gently as she chuckled.

Once they were silent again, he unlaced the ribbon and let his fingers run in his hair to undo the braids. The strands falling were curled slightly and he felt Saegyth's eyes on him, taking in the new aspect of his hair. 

"I know women who would be jealous of your hair." She said and it made him laugh as he attached her ribbon around his wrist, helping himself with his teeth. 

"My mother used to spend hours brushing my hair when I was a boy, it was always messy. After spending the day in the forest with my brother once, there were so many knots she decided it was better to cut it." He told, an amused smile stretching his lips as he remembered how pussed he had been that day. 

"You have a brother ?" She asked curiously but Finan froze. His jaw clenched at the only last memory of him. 

"I have." He answered, his voice bitter as he stared back at the fire, the flames danced in his pupils as the hatred he felt. 

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked." Saegyth said quickly after and he immediately regretted how he let his anger take control for a brief moment.

"No, no, no! It's me. I just… I don't have good memories of him." He tried to explain and she nodded, gently smiling. 

"That's alright. Maybe you should go to sleep. I'm taking this watch." She proposed to him and Finan followed her advice. 

He walked to his bedroll and wrapped himself in the furs, the warmth comforting. But as always, his sleep was tormented by memories. He was back on the slave ship, shackled and whipped. He couldn't tell if the tears streaming on his face were real or just a dream but when he opened his eyelids, he felt a hand on his cheek. He met two deep blue worried eyes and for a moment he just kept staring at them, his chest falling and rising quickly. 

"It's just a nightmare, Finan." Saegyth's soft voice reached his ears and he took a moment to recognize her whole face. 

His fingers lightly touched the hand on his cheek, just to be sure it wasn't a dream. But he felt the softness of her skin under his fingertips and his throat tightened. 

"Saegyth…" Her name got strangled by a sob as he sat up. 

She immediately pulled him to her, her arm wrapped around his waist as he hid his face in her neck. He couldn't tell how long she had been holding him, all he could remember was tenderness with which her hand rubbed his back, her fingers tangling in his hair and her thumb brushing a spot behind his ear. 

And as he calmed down, he realized he had never felt safer than in her arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG I got so much awesome comments the past days, you can't imagine how happy it made me !! Thank you so much 🥺
> 
> Back to the chapter ! Finan braiding his hair is a reference to the books where he told Uhtred, in an adorable scene btw, that warriors in his tribe used to braid their hair. 
> 
> I hope you liked this chapter, and see you soon lovelies !


	8. Chapter 8

When Finan opened his eyes, the sky was barely painted by the soft orange of the morning light. He blinked several times, observing the birds leaving trees, rustling the leaves. It was a quiet morning though the fresh air urged him to pull the furs upper on his body. That's how he noticed the hand resting on his belly.

He frowned and turned his head meeting the sight of a sleeping Saegyth. Her features were rid of any of her worries and it made her look younger than she was. A strand of her hair had felt over her and Finan let his fingers gently put her hair back behind her ear. He smiled remembering how months ago he had wished to lose his fingers in her golden hair. 

He didn't remember falling asleep, and even less, her laying next to him. But he found her presence appeasing and he drifted back to sleep, his hand on top of hers. He woke up not long after, the sun's rays illuminating the darkness behind his eyelids. When he opened his eyes this time, he was alone. 

He sat up, wondering if maybe he had just dreamt of her sleeping next to him. But as he looked to the awakened persons, he crossed Saegyth's gaze. She was giving food to a villager and she paused to smile at him. It was the softest smile he had ever seen. 

They continued their journey down South until all villagers had found their home again. When they came back to Coccham, they had been gone for two weeks and the first snowflakes fell on Uhtred's estate. 

The ground was covered by white layer when Finan knocked at Saegyth and Hild's house, holding wooden logs in his arms. The nun opened him, greeting him with a smile. 

"Oh thank you Finan! Come in." She ushered him inside and Finan removed his hood, snow falling on the floor. There was a nice smell of hot stew in the house, remembering Finan he hadn'tbeat yet. "Can you put that here, please." She pointed at a small pile of wood. 

He nodded and crouched to carefully drop the wood. He stood up, rubbing his hands together to warm them. 

"Saegyth isn't here?" He asked, noticing her absence. 

"She's with Gisela in the hall." She told him. "Are you hungry?" She asked him, putting two bowls on the table. 

He opened his mouth to politely decline but Hild tilted her head and raised an eyebrow. "I'm starving." He admitted and she pulled a chair for him. 

Finan thanked her for the stew before starting to eat. They talked of various things. Finan appreciated the nun, despite not being a banal one. She had accompanied them several times in their travels, he learned to know her and her talent to always have the right words. 

"Maybe it's just me, but you seem different since you came back." She asked him. 

Finan paused, his spoon a few inches from his mouth. "Different?" He raised his eyebrows not understanding what she meant.

"Well if you want me to be more specific, I think it has something to do with Saegyth." She smiled and Finan almost choked with his food, which seemed to amuse her.

"What could have anything to do with her?" He kept his eyes locked on his bowl, not wanting Hild to notice his uneasiness. But the nun was no fool. 

"Oh I don't know, you seem like you're always looking at her." She shrugged. 

Finan melted in his chair, feeling his blood warm his cheeks. Hild was probably right, during the past weeks, he had this strange feeling of seeing her everywhere. Wherever he would go, even if she wasn't the center of his attention, he knew somehow his gaze would be attracted by her golden hair. But he couldn't complain, her simple presence, though she was more than simple to his eyes, was appeasing him. 

"She's a good woman." She said innocently as if she wasn't implying anything else behind as she took a spoon of stew. She gave Finan a long gaze and he felt like she was actually reading his mind.

"She is." He approved, trying his best to keep his voice neutral. 

Hild didn't ask more of it, and he was grateful for that. But he knew she would eventually bring the subject back later.

...

Saegyth loved winter. She loved to wake up and see the landscape covered by a thick layer of snow. Her mother used to tell her she gave birth to her during the coldest winter she ever lived through, so cold her father was worried they wouldn't have enough wood to warm their house.

She had no memory of the winter of her birth, but this first winter in Coccham was rough. Most of it, she got stuck inside the Great Hall, helping Gisela whomst round belly was starting to prevent her from doing everything she would like to do. 

At the beginning, seeing her belly swell was hard. She couldn't help but think of her own failure in the matter. But she found ready ears in Gisela and Hild and she told them everything. How she hated bearing the first one, how she could only see him as her husband's child. But once he was gone, after hating him for three months, she had realized that he was innocent in all of this. She was so young and she had blamed herself for his loss, persuaded that it was God's punishment for her hatred toward an innocent child.

She had loved the second, with her whole heart. This child would have been hers and she would have been his whole world. And for the few months he had grown in her, it even made her forget how she hated her husband. 

But it didn't prevent his loss. 

She had tried to love the third but her mind was constantly reminding her of the two precedents. She had ignored him, sometimes even forgotten she was pregnant. And the foregone conclusion she had been waiting happened. 

She had never talked of it so genuinely except to Beocca after each of her miscarriages, during her confessions at the church, desperate to understand what she had done wrong. 

And as Hild and Gisela had hugged her tenderly, trying to soothe her sobs, she had remembered how Finan had held her months ago without even knowing what was wrong, and how good it felt. She hoped he had felt the same, that other night in the forest.

"How was Winchester?" Saegyth grinned as she watched Uhtred, Hild and some of his men, entering Coccham. 

"At its best, as always." Uhtred sighed, dismounting his horse. 

Alfred had invited him for Christmas and obviously he had to take part of the well known long King's mass. She chuckled at his desperate face. Saegyth had remained in Coccham to stay with Gisela whomst condition kept her here. 

Uhtred quickly made his way to find his wife and she caught Finan, standing behind, holding his horse's reins. 

"What about you? Did you pray in the tavern?" She teased him and he laughed heartily. She had missed this sound.

"I tried, but I'm not sure God heard me with all the noise there's in an alehouse." He grinned and it was her turn to giggle. 

They head to the stables and he told her everything that happened in Winchester, with his usual story teller talent. 

"I've never seen Sihtric so drunk. I'm not even sure he had ever been that drunk at all." He paused a moment as he brushed his horse, probably remembering an event of that terrible night for the young dane before chortling. "I found him half-dead in straw in the morning." 

"You didn't even bring him back to his room." Saegyth noted, shaking her head in exasperation but she couldn't hide her amused smile. 

"The boy must make his own experiences." He shrugged innocently.

Saegyth leaned against the half door, her forearms on top and her chin pressed on them. She silently stared at Finan as he cleaned the hooves of his horse. He had been gone for only a week and half, but it was well enough for her to feel his absence. 

Even if she had been rather occupied in this short time, she couldn't help but long for their talk in the barn. It had become a habit, though with the coldness of this winter it had started to be less often, for them to spend a part of the night in it, sitting side by side on the floor and to just talk. 

They could talk of whatever would come to their mind. Sometimes, Finan would mention his life in Ireland, but Saegyth would ask nothing more about it, knowing it wasn't a subject he liked to talk much about. So she would just appreciate the small memories he decided to share with her.

"Oh I've got somethin' for ya!" Finan said, walking out of the stable to search something in his bag. 

He took out a small packet of fabric and handed it to her with a shy smile. She frowned and took it delicately from his hand and opened it. She discovered a purple ribbon with a bead strung on it. 

"Oh Finan…" She let her finger graze the bead, feeling the small cracks that formed the design of it. "You shouldn't ha-"

"It's to thank you. For all your time you spend to takevcare of me." He said, looking everywhere except her eyes. 

She couldn't help but blush at his attention. "You have nothing to thank me for. I did all of this because I truly care for you." A tender smile spread on her lips, the most genuine she probably ever did.

On the other hand, Finan's smile fell for a moment, his lips parting as he had just seen a miracle. Something gleamed in his pupils and it made her heart flutter. Then it all disappeared and his usual easy smirk took the place. 

"Well, I kinda stole you your ribbon, it will replace it." He said. 

Saegyth nodded, still observing his gift with attention. It always small and simple, but it felt as he just offered her the world. She looked up to him, meeting his fascinating dark eyes and she stepped toward him to kiss his cheek. 

"Thank you." She softly said and for a second, she swore she saw his cheeks blushing slightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So in this chapter I tried to bring up more of Saegyth past and a part of what hurt her the most in her life. I also put Hild, because damn, I didn't made her speak once yet ! What a shame ! Thought made her speak with Finan was a good idea, I love their friendship 🥺  
> I also spend a part of my day drawing Finan and Saegyth lmaoo, I'll probably post the drawings on my tumblr once I'm done :')   
> THANK YOU FOR READING   
> LOVE U ALL


	9. Chapter 9

Part 9

"Ouch!" Finan shouted as Sihtric hit him with his wooden sword.

"You were staring again." Sihtric grinned and Clapa laughed behind. 

"I wasn't." Finan grumbled as he positioned himself in front of the young Dane again. 

Saegyth was talking to the blacksmith, his house facing the training field, and indeed, as Sihtric had noticed, he was staring at her. 

"You should ask her to marry you." Clapa advised him but Finan rolled his eyes. 

Obviously, Sihtric and Clapa had noticed Finan's different behaviour in Saegyth's presence and were now finding a mischievous pleasure to remind him of it. But Finan knew they were right. He was slowly and hardly falling in love with her, despite she had already mesmerized him with her beauty months ago on the beach. But the feeling scared him, the last time he loved brought him where he was now and even if he started to truly appreciate his life in Wessex, there were some years in between he would have gladly avoided. 

"Can we talk of somethin' else, uh?" He asked, annoyed as he noticed the amused glance of his friends. 

Spring had settled a week ago, bringing back the colours of those lands, hidden by the snow during winter. But it mostly reminded Finan that a whole year had passed since he was free. And the same time had passed since he first met her. Sometimes he wondered if she hadn't bewitched him to make his mind always find a way to her. 

If Sihtric and Clapa had fun annoying him about Saegyth, Uhtred chose to properly talk with him. 

"She cares for you." He said as both of them were sitting at the tavern.

"Of course she does." Finan answered, his gaze locked on the ale in his cup. "She's a good woman and a good friend."

Uhtred nodded, he was more than aware of those two qualities of her after years knowing her. He rolled his eyes, leaning on the table. "She doesn't care for you only as a friend." He said more softly. 

Finan looked up to meet Uhtred's blue eyes. "Did Gisela tell ya this?" He asked, narrowing his eyes.

"A blind man could see it." He replied, with a little smirk. 

Finan sighed and his hand ran on his beard. "Even if she does, I'm no good man for her. I've no land or silver. I've just me." He took a sip of ale and chuckled when he put the cup back on the table. "And my sword, but it's already yours." He joked. 

Uhtred shook his head, almost exasperated. "I thought you'd know her enough to know that a good marriage isn't what she wants." 

"She's a lady. She deserves a good husband." Finan insisted but his friend kept his opinion.

"She's been refusing to marry every Lord the Lady Aelswith told her about. Poor or rich." He argued. 

"Maybe she just doesn't want to marry." Finan snapped, tired of this conversation. He stood up and finished his cup. "Anyway, I don't intend to marry anyone as well. Marriage isn't for me."

On those words he left the tavern, upset. All those new feelings were starting to feel like a burden to him and so, as every night, he walked discreetly in the barn and found the company of horses.

Until Saegyth stepped in. She was smiling, as usual, but it disappeared when she noticed his drawn features. She walked toward him and at every step she made, he felt his heart sink. 

"Are you alright?" Her hand touched his forearm and he couldn't help but clench his jaw. 

"Can I tell ya a secret?" He asked her. 

"I didn't think you were the kind to share secrets." She tried to joke but he wasn't feeling to laugh. "Of course you can." She answered more seriously.

He sat on the floor, his back against the wooden wall. She took place next to him, her eyes not leaving him. It took it some time to clear his mind, to find the right words, but she didn't urge him. 

"A woman died because of me." He said softly, ashamed as he stared at his hands. 

"On the battlefield?" 

He shook his head. "I was young and foolish, and I thought no one could prevent me from loving her even if I hadn't the right to." He turned his head to Saegyth and he couldn't read his expression. She was still staring at him, her lips slightly parted, but he couldn't tell if it was of surprise or deception. "I should have died, not her."

"You've been through worse than death, Finan." She said gripping his hand tightly. "No matter how guilty you feel, how much you think you should have paid, you suffered far more." 

Her eyes hypnotized him and as he searched the soothing he could usually find in the deep blue ocean her pupils were, he realized a terrible truth. 

"I don't even remember her face." 

During his first months on the slave ship he had dreamt of her several times. Each time he had woken up, he remembered she wasn't here and would never be. But somehow, the memory of her face had made him holding on. He would break those chains and venge her. 

But the chains broke him first. 

He had lost hope after the first winter, when he refused to go back on the ship after spending a few months on dry land. Sverri had attached him to the mast, his hands high enough above his head for him to stand up. He didn't remember how many times the lash slit his skin, but he remembered the ache of each one. How he hadn't been able to sleep on his back or against the hull so painful was his back. And he had found no comfort in remembering her soft face. 

Her face had blurred. First he had forgotten the shape of her nose and then the curve of her smile. The colours had mixed and all he could see was only a silhouette that could be anyone he had once known. 

"I don't know if I feel more guilty about forgetting her or getting the luck to live." 

But most of all, falling in love again. 

Saegyth pinched her lips together, her eyebrows slightly furrowed in compassion. "She's in the past, Finan. Life goes on and forgetting her face doesn't mean you forget what you felt for her." She took his hand and she pressed it on his chest, upon his heart. "I forgot my mother's face too, but I carry all the love she gave me in my heart. You carry it too. And if she truly loved you, she would want you to be happy." 

She raised her eyebrows, waiting for him to nod. Once he did, she let go of his hand and just simply smiled, though it could make him forget all his pains. 

"I'll keep your secret." She promised him. 

…

The soft light of the morning brought Saegyth out of Coccham, to the lake. Her cloak covering her nightgown. Though she could have just prepared a hot bath in her house, she appreciated the freshness of the water and the sound of the nature around her. It was relaxing and she was feeling as time had stopped for a brief moment.

But when she arrived, she found clothes on the floor, men's clothes. She frowned and walked discreetly through the high reeds. She bit her lips when she recognized Finan in the water. He was in the water up to his waist, letting visible his upper body. Saegyth took a brief moment to study him, last time she saw him like this he was in a deplorable state, ribs visible and wounds still opened.

Now, only scars could remind her of those days. Her heart beat faster as she observed the line of his muscle, how they tensed when he splashed cold water upon his face and shoulders. She had never imagined she could find beauty in a man's body. But mostly, she felt so proud of him, for working so hard to be the man he wanted to be.

She finally decided to make herself visible and so, she removed her shoes, dropped her basket with clean clothes on the grass and walked to the shore. She shivered, the cold water caressing her feet in small regular waves. 

"I thought I would be the only one to like the fresh water." She declared loud enough for him to hear her.

Finan jumped, sinking himself deeper in the water. She laughed at his surprise. "Sweet jesus! Ya scared me lass." He shouted. 

"Sorry." She said innocently.

"That's alright." He straightened, the water surface leaving his shoulders to stop just above his belly button. 

She tried to keep her eyes away from his shape, but she couldn't prevent the blush to color her cheeks. This probably was the most inappropriate situation she put herself to, and she couldn't help but think of how Lady Aelswith would have a heart attack if she knew, after trying for years to find her a suitable husband. 

"May I join?" She asked with a mischievous smile.

She thought Finan too would have a heart attack so widened his eyes were. "Ahem… Sure."

"Good." 

She walked further into the lake, she felt her skin warmth, though the water was cold. When she was young, she was used to swim with her brothers in the river, when she was young, her mother scolding them for wetting their clothes. 

She stopped just in front of him and she felt suddenly aware of how tall and strong he looked compared to her. 

"Ya… Ya're keepin' your dress?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. 

She noticed the mischief glimpse in his gaze, and it created butterflies in her stomach. How relieved she was to see it again after their last night's discussion. She knew so little of his past, but she felt privileged that he would share it with her. There was so much on his shoulders and she felt the need to relieve him of it. 

"It would be inappropriate. Don't you think?" She teased him, leaning her head to the side. 

"Well…" He rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm as dressed as the day I first saw light." He said softly, his brogue seeming thicker. 

She couldn't help but laugh as he smiled, visibly quite uncomfortable. "I'm glad you feel better." She said once she calmed down.

"It helps when there's good ears to listen." There was a sincerity in his words, eyes and smile that could have made her melt in the water. 

As far as she remembered, no one had ever made her feel that way. She remembered her mother telling her of this, how she had thought her heart would explode when she had met her father. When Saegyth met her husband, she had felt nothing and she had thought her mother's words were just to reassure her about the day she'd have to marry. 

But now, as she was standing in the cold water, staring intently into Finan's eyes, she knew her mother never lied to her.

"I should go." He finally said and she nodded. She watched him make a few steps before he stopped to look at her above his shoulder. "Can ya turn around? I'm shy." He seriously said, but she noticed the way the corner of his lips raised.

She pinched her lips together, trying to prevent her amused smile to spread on her face. But when she turned her back to him, she couldn't hold it anymore. She found herself blushing as she heard the water move as he walked back to the shore, wondering how his whole naked body could look like. And as if it could purge her from her thoughts, she immersed herself completely in the water. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn, this was absolutely not the plan I had for this chapter. In fact I rewrote because I didn't like the version, and it ended up into a totally different thing, but I like it that way !   
> I felt so bad while writing just a little of Finan's days on the slave ship 😭  
> Dedication to MrsAlwaysWrite for the last sentence, Saegyth needs a bath of Holy water as well 😬


	10. Chapter 10

Saegyth was out of Coccham, picking plants as Gisela asked her earlier in the day. It was a pleasant afternoon with a soft wind ruffling her hair as she walked back to Coccham, her shoulder bag filled. She frowned when she perceived a rider coming toward her. She didn't need a lot of time to recognize Finan as he slowed his horse. 

"What are you doing here?" She asked him, she didn't remember Uhtred talking about a hunting party or any scouting mission.

He jumped off his horse, catching the reins just underneath its head. "Hild sent me to fetch ya." He explained and she immediately noticed his straight face. "Lady Gisela is about to give birth."

Saegyth gasped, her hand covering her mouth in surprise. With his free hand, Finan gently squeezed her shoulder. It was a simple touch, but it relieved her from a little of the sudden tension that built in her muscles.

"She's fine, but we have to hurry." He pointed to the saddle and she nodded. 

She mounted the horse and Finan sat just behind her. His arms at each side of her body, he grabbed the reins before hitting the horse's flanks. They galloped the whole way back to Coccham, Saegyth gripping the stallion's hair while her back was against Finan's chest. She was aware of their closeness, of how his arms were keeping her against him so she didn't fall, but her mind was too troubled by Gisela. 

When they arrived at Coccham, Saegyth ran to the Great Hall. She was welcomed by Gisela's pain complaint and Uhtred's worried eyes. 

"She'll be fine, Uhtred." Hild reassured him, her hand rubbing his arm gently. "You can go."

It's only reluctantly that he stepped outside his house, joining Finan who was waiting in front of the giant doors. They would probably spend the night at the alehouse with the other men, waiting patiently for the child to arrive. 

And the wait was long. Saegyth couldn't tell how long she's been listening to Hild's instructions, holding Gisela's hand and pressing a wet cloth from time to time on her forehead. The nun had warned her of how difficult to watch could be a child's birth, but Saegyth couldn't help but feel useless in front of the suffering of her friend. And she had to push away her worst thoughts as hours passed. 

"Come on, Gisela! One more push!" Hild encouraged her, squeezing the Lady's knee. 

Gisela briefly nodded, sweat wetting her forehead and hair. She tightened her grip around Saegyth's hand and sat up slightly, pushing with all her remaining strengths. As she fell back on the mattress a cry broke the silence. Saegyth turned to look at Hild and she couldn't prevent a breathless laugh as she saw the newborn in the nun's arms, shaking vigorously is little legs. 

"It's a boy, Gisela! A beautiful boy!" Hild announced and the newly mother smiled with all her teeth through the exhaustion. 

Hild gave the baby to Saegyth, partially cleaned and wrapped in a cover, while she took care of Gisela. He was so small and so fragile, she got scared she would hurt him. His face was still red and a little swollen but she found his clear eyes beautiful. She couldn't look away from him, mesmerized by this new life. 

She finally walked back to Gisela's bed, carefully giving her her newborn son. Tears of joy filled her eyes as she discovered her first child, caressing his cheek with her finger with tenderness. Saegyth's heart melted as she noticed all the love in Gisela's gaze for this little boy she had just known for a few minutes. 

"You should fetch Uhtred." Hild proposed to her and Saegyth nodded.

Once she was outside, she was surprised to see the first lights of the morning. She walked to the tavern where she found Uhtred and Finan sitting at a table. She didn't even have time to call him, that Uhtred had already noticed her and stood up. The worry hadn't left his face yet and Saegyth hurried herself to reassure him.

"It's a boy Uhtred." She told him.

"Gisela?" He asked. 

"She's fine, you can go and see her." She had never seen such a smile on her friend's face as he thanked her with a warm embrace before running to the Great Hall. 

She watched him disappear, smiling fondly until she felt Finan's hand on her shoulder. She twisted her neck to look at him, and he seemed as tired as her after spending the whole night reassuring Uhtred. Saegyth was overwhelmed by joy, and she needed to express it, so she turned on her heels to face him, happy tears shining in the corner of her eyes. 

"Are ya alright?" He asked her, tilting his head to the side as his palm curved on her cheek, his thumb wiping a tear. 

She offered him her brightest smile as she pressed her face against his hand, loving the feel of it on her skin, the tenderness of his touch. "I'm just happy and tired." She chuckled. 

"As we all are I think." He shrugged but as soon as he finished his sentence, Saegyth stepped to wrap her arms around his neck, the need to feel the warmth of his embrace being strong.

He paused a moment, his hands hesitating to touch her. But finally, he let them slide from her waist to back, holding her tight against him. The feel of his breath against her skin sent delicious shivers along her spine. 

She could have stayed in his arms hours if she didn't have to reluctantly pull away, exhaustion running in her veins. She yawned, her hand pressed on her mouth as she did. 

"Sorry, I really need to sleep." She said, rubbing the back of her neck. 

"Ya really do." He laughed lightly before kissing her forehead. She didn't even see it coming, and she felt as if her heart was going to explode. 

She briefly met his eyes, too scared that the flush starting to redden her cheeks increased. "Goodnight, Finan." She stammered and it seemed to amuse him, because it was definitely not night anymore. 

"Goodnight, Saegyth."

  
…

  
A week after the newly named Uhtred, son of Uhtred, the Lord of Coccham decided to celebrate the birth of his son. It was the first great feast of the village since they arrived and all the villagers were glad to be a part of it. 

Finan was more than happy to drink and raise his cup in the little man's honor. But quickly, too quickly, his mind made him aware of Saegyth's presence, laughing and dancing in the small crowd. Tonight she had let her hair down, her strands moving as the wheat in the wind. 

And as he contemplated her from another side of the Great Hall, he thought back of his conversation with Uhtred two weeks ago, could he really be enough for her? To him, she deserved the world, and he was far from owning it. The thought started to eat him up from the inside, and ale didn't help him to get better. So he resolved himself to leave for the fresh outside air of the night.

He walked to the barn, as usual, but the doors were locked, Aelwulf probably wanting to prevent drunk men to end their night in the horses' straw. So he just sat against the wall, closing his eyes. He must have somehow fallen asleep, because he didn't hear the footsteps approaching him. 

"What are you doing so far from the feast?" He opened his eyelids, recognizing Saegyth's soft voice. 

"I'm thinkin'." He answered, closing his eyes again and lifting his head a little.

"You shouldn't try to think too much after drinking so much ale, you're going to have a headache." She joked and he couldn't help but huffed in amusement. He heard her sit next to him and then he could feel her shoulder brushing his. "So… What were you thinking about?" She asked him.

He looked down to her, admiring how the moon was making her skin shine. He could remember the softness of it when his hand cupped her cheek a few days ago. 

He looked to the sky again before answering her. "Of how a lucky man Uhtred is. He has the lands, the wife and now the son." He sighed, hesitating to pronounce his following words. But it was Saegyth he was talking to, and whatever he had already told her, he never saw an ounce of judgement in her eyes. "There was a time I had all of this. And yet, I wasn't happy." He finally said. 

She remained silent for a moment, taking his words in. For an instant, he got scared revealing her he had a family in Ireland would push her away. But she didn't, because she knew what it was to be married to someone you never loved. 

She changed position to face him. "But you are happy here, aren't you?" 

Of course he was happy and as he met her blue eyes, he knew what was making him. Coccham was a place he could now call home, but his heart was still missing one. "Almost." He said softly, and the answer didn't seem to surprise her. He raised an eyebrow, returning her question. "And ya? Are ya?"

"I am." She smiled and somehow he got disappointed by her answer. 

She looked down, and he noticed the blush of her cheeks under the moon's light. He thought it was the alcohol, after all she had drunk ale tonight, or the cold air. But as she hesitantly took his hand, he rethought his suppositions. She kept her eyes on their now joined hands, Finan spreading his fingers to untangle them with hers, but he, on the other hand, couldn't look away from her.

"But I feel like something is missing." She finally said softly, just loud enough for him to hear. 

She finally let her gaze meet his and Finan thought his heart would burst. He couldn't tell if it was seconds or minutes that were passing, but at each passing one, Saegyth's face seemed to be closer to his, until he could feel her breath. 

He briefly looked at her lips, noticing how she lightly bit her lower one, before looking her in the eyes again. "Are ya about to kiss me?" He whispered, feeling her hesitation.

A breathless laugh escaped her. "I've never kissed someone on my own will." She admitted.

"Then I won't rush ya." He smiled, the idea of being her first desired kiss, making him want the tension between them to last longer.

She eventually pressed her lips against his, and it felt as if nothing else had ever felt better to him. Her lips were soft and tasted like the ale she drank earlier. When she started to pull away, he knew he needed more. His free hand found its way to the back of her head, his finger mixing with her hair as he pulled her in another kiss. 

And as he felt her lips move against his, slowly learning the pace he had settled, he felt as if he was breathing again after spending years under the water. When they parted, he was smiling like a fool, his hand sliding to her cheek and his thumb caressing her upper lip. 

"Are you fully happy, now?" She asked him, a similar smile than his gracing her face.

"The happiest man."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *SCREAMS LOUDLY*   
> FINALLY THEY KISSED !!!   
> I could have made the slow burn last longer, but I'm not that a sadistic lol  
> Aaaah you can't imagine how happy I am they finally made this step 🥰🥰   
> Anyway! I hope you liked this chapter as much as I do 👉👈


	11. Chapter 11

Saegyth still had a hard time to realize what happened last night. She didn't know how she had succeeded to gather enough courage to kiss him, the ale probably helping in the process, but she was far from regretting it. 

But now, as she was sitting on a bench near the training ground, watching Finan and Uhtred fighting, she couldn't look at him without remembering the feel of his lips on hers. The simple idea made her body warm and she shifted position, crossing her legs, and leaning to rest her elbow on her knee and her cheek on her fist. 

Today, they were training to fight with a shield, Saegyth had always been pretty excited about using one, but the weight of it was what she was mostly fearing. If she had finally become good in a simple sword fight, having to hold a shield was totally different. 

She tried to remain concentrated on the two men movement, as were Sihtric and Rypere and eventually her turn came. 

"Saegyth and Rypere, it's your turn now." Uhtred grinned to the only two who never fought with a shield. 

Rypere stood up right away, approaching Uhtred, letting her with no other choice than joining Finan. As she approached the Irishman her heart started to beat faster and the look in his eyes made her want to pull his face to hers. It was such a strange feeling to her, to desire. And not even one day had passed since she had to deal with it, and she was already finding it frustrating. 

Finan gave her his sword and shield. She swore when she took the wooden round, realising it wasn't that heavy, but his size seemed more binding.

"You'll get used to it." He reassured her, noticing her discomfort as she manipulated the shield. She turned her head to look and smiled at him. 

She positioned herself, taking her usual posture, but she found it hard to be at ease with the shield. 

"Keep it on your side." Finan instructed her. She nodded and the wood was now against her forearm. "It can be a weapon as much as a protection. You must always use it." 

She frowned for a moment, not totally understanding what he meant. But then she remembered how he and Uhtred fought, their shield arm was always active, either to attack or protect themselves. 

"Got it?" He asked, putting his both hands on her shoulders from behind her. She twisted her neck to meet his eyes, biting her lips as she noticed the same want to kiss her than she had for him. 

"Got it." She replied, a confident smile spreading on her lips. 

She was surprised how fast she got used to handling a shield. Of course she still struggled to position it correctly, her wrist missing some firmness when Rypere's attacks were too strong. She needed to work a lot if she wanted, one day, to take part of a shield wall, but Finan and Uhtred's shared proud smile gave her more confidence. 

After their training, she went to the lake, her body was stinking with sweat and the fresh water was more than welcome. 

On her way back, she jumped at Finan's voice. "Was the bath good, my Lady?" She could hear his usual smirk in his tone and when she turned around, he was back against a tree, at the edge of the wood surrounding the small lake. 

"It was." She said, narrowing her eyes. "Have you been following me?" She asked him, wondering how far he went as he stepped toward. 

"Maybe." He said innocently. "But I've not been further than here." He assured her. 

"That's good to know." She half smiled, appreciating that he had respected her intimacy. He was now close enough to rest his hand on her hips and she had to lift her head to look at him in the eyes. "So why were you following me?" 

It was such a stupid question, after they had spent the whole morning resisting to kiss each other, that Finan didn't even bother to answer it. He leaned toward her and Saegyth gladly welcomed the feel of his lips against hers. She chuckled a little, she had been wondering if it was the alcohol that had made their previous night kisses so amazing, but even sober, she still felt like she was leaving the ground.

"I thought you were about to jump on me during training." He joked. 

"I can't deny, the idea might have crossed my mind." She replied, making him laugh. 

"You fought well this morning." He complimented her, kissing her cheek and she didn't expect it to warm her heart so much. Uhtred had congratulated her earlier too, but coming from Finan, it definitely sounded differently. 

"I have a good teacher." She whispered, rising on her toes to catch his mouth. 

They didn't kiss much longer, Finan's attention being caught by the sound of hooves hitting the ground below. He frowned as he stared at the rider approaching Coccham, his hands still on Saegyth hips. 

"It must be a messenger." She supposed, not recognizing the man on the horse. 

"We should go back." Finan suggested. 

…

"If I knew I had to intend all of his damn celebrations, I wouldn't have accepted." Uhtred grumbled as he threw the letter on the table. 

"It's not like you had very much the choice." Saegyth point out to him and the Dane just glared at her. 

Finan stared at her as she sat at the table, just in front of him. He couldn't tell if she was too far or too close, but in any case it was hard to not change places to be next to her. 

"When is even Easter?" Uhtred grumbled. 

"In a week and half, Lord." Finan answered. "We need to leave this week." 

Uhtred sighed and turned to Gisela, standing to the other side of the room, gently rocking their son. 

"I suppose you can't come." He guessed, quite pouting but he's gaze was soft on his wife. 

"No, it's too soon." She answered, walking to them. 

Finan noticed how Saegyth immediately looked up to the baby, a tender smile lighting her face, once Gisela was next to her chair. 

"Maybe Saegyth could accompany you?" Gisela proposed and the blonde lady raised an eyebrow to her friend. 

"Maybe I should." Her fingers slightly grazed Young Uhtred's cheek and she chuckled a little. "Before Lady Aelswith comes by herself to present me a bunch of suitors." She joked but only Finan didn't laugh, though he should have. And Saegyth must have noticed it, because she quickly glanced at him. 

"She won't give up." Uhtred added, leaning back into his chair. 

"It's not a bad intention." She shrugged. "She is having a hard time understanding I can leave on my own, without a husband." She paused a moment, her hand dropping back to the table. "Not now at least." 

Finan wondered if those words could be meant for him and he difficulty found the meaning behind. All he retained was she had no intention to marry, whoever it was. 

The conversation quickly changed, Uhtred talking organisation with Finan. 

"What did ya mean when ya said ya didn't want to marry now at least?" He asked once night had fallen and they had found the peace of the barn. 

Finan was sitting, his back against a ballot of straw, Saegyth dozing against his shoulder. She slowly looked up to him, raising an intrigued eyebrow. 

"Simple curiosity." He justified himself, waving his hands, though the subject had concerned him more than he could admit. 

"Well, we just never know." She shrugged before taking back her previous position. 

He leaned his head side, his cheek resting on top of her head. He closed his eyes, concentrating on the sound of her calm breath, his arm wrapped around her waist. 

"Do you?" She asked. 

He looked down, expecting to meet her eyes but she didn't move. 

"I don't know. I don't have a good marriage experience either." He admitted. 

She gently took his hand and he squeezed it back. He didn't have to tell her much for her to understand, and he was grateful for that. 

"So, you're coming with us this time?" He changed the conversation and she shifted her position, leaning more into Finan's embrace and she nodded.

"It's been a long time since we left Winchester. And I can't wait to see Thyra." She smiled. 

The two women had spent a lot of time together last year, and since, Saegyth had never accompanied them to Winchester. He and Hild had given her news about the Dane woman, telling her about Thyra's life in the city and all the time she was spending with Beocca. There was always a genuine happiness on her face when she was listening to them. 

"Thought it was the mass that was exciting ya the most." He laughed as she twisted her neck to look at him. 

"You can laugh, but you've never been to one of the King's Mass." She narrowed her eyes and he brought his face closer to hers.

"Aren't ya a good christian lass?" He grinned even more when her hand slided on his neck, pulling him down to her to close the small gap between them.

"I fear you're starting to have a bad influence on me." She answered against his lips. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyaaa !! So this chapter is much more simpler, a little transition let's say !   
> The next chapters will be a lot about them getting to know each other, but I'm searching a plot behind to make things much more interesting to read ahah 
> 
> Also, self promotion moment (oupsi sorry) I have another story, named Broken Crown, it's also a Finan x OC but the plot is more... complicated?? Idk how to describe it but I certainly have some headaches when I am making researches for it lmaoo. Anyway ! If you want to check it out, it's on Ao3 😊


	12. Chapter 12

"I can already smell the ale from here!" Finan exclaimed on his horse, taking a deep breath as they were reaching Winchester's gates. 

Saegyth laughed along with Clapa and Sihtric behind her. They had been travelling for two days, and they were all eager to arrive and find the comfort of a tavern and a real bed once night would fall. But what Saegyth was particularly longing for was some time alone with Finan. 

Coccham may be small, but they still could find some places to spend time without being caught. But during the journey, she had to sustain herself with only tender smiles and small glances.

"Once we'll have arrived, I'll go meet Alfred, to give him a report." Uhtred announced before turning to stare at Saegyth. "Will you come with me to the palace?" 

Saegyth didn't hesitate long, she had to see Lady Aelswith and listen to her marriage plans for her before she found her by herself. "Of course." She accepted.

She could feel the hint of disappointment in Finan's gaze, knowing their privacy would have to wait a little longer. But after two days, what were a few more hours ? 

And so she accompanied Uhtred to the palace, after she had taken a moment to head to her house and dress herself properly. As they walked in, the Dane was already muttering about how boring would be Alfred's mass in two days. His complaints made her shake her head in amusement, she had heard him so much time complaining about Alfred, she wondered how he still had saliva to continue. She didn't walk much longer with him as she perceived Lady Aelswith in the yard. She patted Uhtred's arm, indicating she was leaving him here. 

"Lady Aelswith." She called her as she approached her. "Lady Aethelflead." She added, noticing the King's daughter beside her mother. 

"Lady Saegyth, it's a pleasure to see you again." Aelswith smiled at her, both her hands gently landing on Saegyth's arms. "I see you are well." She concluded after staring at her from head to feet.

"I am, Lady. I am glad you and Lady Aethelflead are as well." She replied, glancing at the princess. 

Saegyth had known Aethelflead since she was a little girl, spending a lot of time with her during their time in the marshes of Somerset. She had always reminded her of her younger self, when she used to still live in her father's estate, in Dorset. 

Aelswith's hands dropped back to her sides and she waved Saegyth to follow her for a walk, Aethelflead leaving to her own occupations. 

"We have been greeted by the visit of your brother's wife's family a week ago." The Queen declared as they walked in a small alley surrounded by small bushes, still deprived of most of their usual green leaves. 

Saegyth raised an eyebrow, willing to know more. She hadn't had news of her brother, Aelwulf, for months. The last letter he sent her was in answer to her return to Winchester after she had spent months alongside Ragnar to find Uhtred. 

"They told us, their daughter gave another son to your brother." She smiled warmly and Saegyth could only give the exact same back to her. 

"It's wonderful. When was he born?" She asked, curiosity taking her.

"Over three months now. They said, he knows how to make himself noticed." A fond expression lightened Aelswith's features. 

The Lady was known for her inflexibility in some matters, but when it came to children, Saegyth had never not seen her tender smile growing on her face. 

"He is for sure Aelwulf's son, then." Saegyth chuckled. 

Of all her brothers, Aelwulf was the one she had always been the closest to. He was three years older than her, making him the eldest child still alive. Since their father's death, he was the Lord of Dorset and few were his visits to his sister. But Saegyth didn't blame him, being a Lord was a busy task and Doret had its cost regularly threatened by the passage of Danes and slavers.

The two Ladies spoke for an hour at least, until the sun was dangerously approaching the horizon. As she walked out of the palace, taking the direction of The Two Cranes Inn, where she hoped to find the men, she realized Aelswith hadn't even mentioned any Lord in quest of a bride. It was a surprise, but she guessed she was keeping that conversation for Easter's banquet. 

She quickened her paces when she recognized Clapa's loud laugh from the other side of the street. The giant Dane was sitting at a table, alongside Finan, Sihtric and much to her dismay, Aethelwold, the King's nephew.

"Is that the lovely and still unmarried Lady Saegyth that I see." The prince said, raising his nose from his cup and ogling her from head to feet. 

"I could say the same thing about you Aethelwold, though I doubt lovely to be the right word to qualify you." She snapped and she could hear Sihtric choking with his ale and Finan giggling.

Saegyth and Aethelwold knew each other for years now, years during which he had learned how sharp-tongued she could be. 

Aethelwold grinned with all his teeth as she took place next to Sihtric. "I missed your soft language, my dear." 

"The feeling isn't shared." She poured herself ale and leaned back in her chair. "Uhtred isn't here?" 

"He is still with Alfred." Finan answered. 

"Probably speaking of Alfred's great plans for England." Aethelwold mumbled.

Saegyth rolled her eyes as the King's nephew started his unstoppable discourse about how Alfred stole his crown. She must know the story by heart now. And as usually, she grew tired of it. She finished her cup and glanced at Finan. The Irishman had the luck to not yet know all the story, but he didn't look interested at all, playing with his cup. 

She clasped her hands on the table, stopping Aethelwold in his lamentations. "Men, I enjoyed your company, but the journey has been tiring and I need to rest." She explained still looking at Finan as a glimpse of joy sparked in his pupils. 

"I'll accompany ya to your house." He declared, standing up at the same time as Saegyth. 

"I'll appreciate that." She politely smiled, though her heart was pounding hard in her chest as he approached her. 

They walked a few minutes, until they were far enough, before Finan grabbed her wrist to stop her, spinning her around so she was facing him. She gasped, not expecting his lips to crash on hers so quickly, but after waiting for it for two days, she couldn't complain. She melted in the embrace of his arms, her hand now free running from his chest to shoulder. 

"Couldn't you wait until we reached the house?" She chuckled, stepping back to continue their way to her home.

He shook his head, following her. "I've been cravin' for ya since we stepped out of Coccham." He whispered once he got close enough to her ear. 

"Is that so?" She teased him, her skin warming where his breath was caressing it. 

"Aye." He nodded, kissing her below her ear, his hands sliding on her waist, stopping her again in her walk. "Ya were haunting my dream." 

"Haunting?" She repeated, turning on her heels to half face him. 

"Blessing them." He corrected himself, smirking mischievously.

"You're a smooth talker, Irishman." She narrowed her eyes as she scooped his jaw in her hand.

"And I didn't know you had such a sharp tongue, Lady." He replied in the same tone.

She dropped her hand back to her side as she laughed, thinking of how she had snapped him. "A habit between us. He doesn't know when he needs to shut his mouth." She shrugged as they were now just a street away from her door. 

"I think I'm starting to see that." He exhaled. 

Saegyth opened her door and was glad to see the fire she lit earlier was still burning, bringing a pleasing warmth in her house. She removed her cloak, hanging it on a chair and sighed, she couldn't deny that having a house on her own had missed her. But as she stared at Finan while he was closing the door behind them, she wondered if loneliness was what she really wanted. 

"What if you stayed tonight?" She suddenly asked him. 

He raised an eyebrow as he turned away from the door. "Are ya sure? That won't go unnoticed." He said as his eyebrows furrowed. 

"Well, it's not like you haven't already slept in this house." She replied as she leaned back against the table, her hands grabbing the edge of it.

Finan stepped toward, his palms gently resting on her hips, his thumbs rubbing the fabric of her dress. "So I am to sleep in the guest's room?" He smirked. 

"Only if you mind cold feet." She chuckled. 

"I can go along with it, I think." He winked.

...

Finan woke up at the feel of fingers delicately moving a strand of his hair back behind his ear. Fingertips provoked soft tickles on his skin and he wrinkled his nose before opening his eyes slightly. He couldn't help but smile at the vision in front of him. 

"What a sight." He muttered, his voice low and dry after sleep. 

Saegyth's light chuckle filled the bedroom as her hand wandered on his chest, her fingers curling on the fabric of his tunic. Before they crawled to bed, he had gone back to the alehouse where he had let his things, not wanting to keep his clothes smelling sweat and horses for the night. When he had come back, she was already in nightgown, her shape was slightly distinguishable through the material. 

"Good morning to you too." She smiled, her finger drawing the line of his nose before stopping on his lips. He let her caress his lower lip while she was beating her own before she finally propped herself on her elbow to kiss him. "Did you sleep well?" She asked him, falling back on her side. 

"Like a baby." He grinned, far from lying. "I haven't slept this well in years." 

For the first time since he had left Ireland, his night had been resting and without nightmares. In fact it had been a dreamless night, but he couldn't complain when he just opened his eyes to see a wonder. 

He wished they could have remained in this bed for some more hours, just to enjoy the warmth of the covers mixed with the one of her body cuddled against his. But they both had things to do. 

When he walked out of the bedroom, dressed for the day, he found her sitting at the living room's table, concentrating in the writing of a letter. He curiously hovered over her shoulder. 

" "My dear Aelwulf"." Finan read, with a mischievous smile. "Are ya writing to your other lover?" He teased her but as she lifted her chin to look at him, there was no amusement but a surprised expression.

He raised an eyebrow, not really understanding her sudden astonishment. He quickly got his answer as she turned on her chair to face him. 

"I didn't know you knew how to read."

"Aye, I do." He rubbed the back of his neck, taking place on the opposite chair, uncomfortable. "So who's that Aelwulf?" He asked, going back to his former interrogation. 

He noticed how her eyebrows furrowed, probably wanting to know more, his manifest education betraying him. But she asked nothing, as usual, letting him disclose his past at his pace. 

"Don't worry about the rivalry, he is just my brother." She plunged the point of her feather in the dark ink before continuing to write. "Lady Aelswith told me his wife gave him another son, so I'm writing a letter to congratulate them." 

She briefly explained to him that he was the Lord of Dorset and Finan made a long hum as he puzzled the few informations, leaning back in his chair. He stared at her for a moment, observing how cautiously and graciously she was forming each letter. But suddenly, an ache in his stomach reminded him that they hadn't eaten yet. 

He sighed, standing up. "I'm goin' to find us somethin' to eat." He declared after kissing her cheek and taking the direction of the door. 

"Don't be too long." She tenderly smiled at him, looking up from her parchment. 

He nodded and before closing the door behind him, he took a look at her and it warmed his heart to know there would be someone waiting for him when he'd come home, though it wasn't his home in fact. He thought back to how he had briefly envied Uhtred from having people caring for him when they had been freed from slavery, and he realized he probably had nothing to envy him anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaah a longer chapter!! I tried to introduce some new characters, Aethelflead and Aethelwold (I loved him in season 2, I hope I'll have some more occasions to use him sksk). But mostly Aelwulf, Saegyth's brother ! Okay it wasn't planned that he'd take part to this story, but I needed a new plot, and I think he could play a part in it ;)
> 
> Anyway! Today I wanted to share with you Finan and Saegyth's song 😌
> 
> Someone to Stay by Vancouver Sleep Clinic
> 
> If you ever listen to it, tell me what you think of it, because damn how I love it !!
> 
> Thank you again for reading this fic! You all are amazing people 💕😘


	13. Chapter 13

"It's so good to see that Thyra appreciates to be here." Saegyth declared from the bedroom.

Finan was sitting on a chair in the living room, unlacing his boots while Saegyth was dressing up for the night in the other room. She had spent most of her afternoon with Thyra, joining them to the tavern only at nightfall. 

"I don't know how she was before, but she seems to be happy." She smiled, walking out of the bedroom, in nightgown. 

Finan looked up to her, kicking off his other shoe, taking in the visible joy gracing her face. "And so… That makes ya happy?" He asked, though he knew the answer already. 

She walked the few steps separating them and stopped between his legs. "Of course it does." She put both her hands on his cheeks, brushing his beard with her thumbs tenderly. "As much as I am happy to know that you are." 

"That's why ya're always so delightful when I'm close to ya." He said as he just made an incredible discovery. 

She chuckled, her hands sliding on his shoulders. "Let's go to bed." She proposed.

Once they were in the bedroom, Finan let himself fall in the bed with a big satisfied sigh. "Ya know, I'm goin' to miss not sleepin' alone, once we'll be back in Coccham." He folded an arm behind his head, watching Saegyth as she sat next to him. 

"You could still ask Sihtric to warm your bed." She proposed, a teasing grin pulling her lips, leaning above him. 

Her hair, undone and falling at each side of her face, was tickling his bare chest and he tried to stop smiling. "Ew, no, I don't want my bed to smell horses." He grimaced and she rolled her eyes. "And I'd rather sleep with a pretty woman." He whispered, the hand, that used to be behind his head, sliding in the crook of her neck, propping himself on his elbow to kiss her. 

But Saegyth moved away before, leaving a small gap between their mouths. "'A' ?" She raised an eyebrow, pretending to be offended. 

Finan's hand left her neck to this time be on her hips. She let out a small gasp of surprise when he pushed her on the mattress. He grinned as he noticed how her eyes sparked of mischief as she laid under him. Her left hand had grabbed his arm when he rolled her, and her fingers were now softly caressing the scarred skin upon his bicep, a sweet touch that brought fire in his chest. 

"Only one in particular." He whispered slowly until he met her lips. 

The kiss was slow, Saegyth's palm following the strong lines of his shoulders until her fingers could reach his nape. Finan shivered, appreciating how delicate was her touch on his skin slashed by scars. He pressed his hand a little more against her hip and she hummed, making him smile. His heart was drumming in his chest, and he couldn't help but explore lower on her body, reaching where the fabric of her nightgown stopped, just under her knee. He left her lips, kissing the soft skin of her neck. 

Tempted, his fingers slid under her skirt, touching the back of her thigh. But Saegyth shifted under him and she grabbed his wrist. "Finan…" She said under her breath and he immediately lifted himself, moving his hand away and meeting her eyes. She didn't have to say much for him to understand he went too quick. "I'm sorry… I just-" 

"There's nothing ya've to be sorry about." He cut her and it pained him to see how surprised she looked. 

He fell back next to her and when he turned his head, she was half smiling, looking up to the cellar. She took a deep breath before turning on her side to face Finan. "What have I done to have such a good man?" She softly asked. 

Finan laughed gently, feeling more like he was the lucky one. "And I? The Lord must have forgiven all my sins to send me such an angel." 

...

Saegyth sighed, for what felt the hundredth time since the beginning of the mass. She was sitting between Uhtred and Aethelwold, and when one wasn't complaining about the length of the ceremony, the other was whispering in her ear every rumour about any noble filling the church. She tried her best to remain concentrated on the priests' utterances, but it felt almost impossible. So she let her gaze fall on the persons sitting on the other benches. She recognized some faces, most of them were just acquaintances. But one face hit her. 

It was a man with strict features, his cheekbones visible above his thin almost grey beard, giving him a severe expression. He must have felt the heaviness of her gaze, his head turning to hers and his green eyes making her shiver. She immediately looked away, her hands gripping her knees, fingers creasing the fabric of her dress. With her lips pinched tightly in a thin line, she tried to turn her attention back to the ceremony, but her mind was constantly reminding her of the man's presence and everything he made her think of. 

When the mass finally ended, she was part of the last leaving the church, Uhtred stretching his arms as he loudly exhaled. She didn't really listen to what he told her, but she didn't miss the sound of Lady Aelswith's voice, calling for her. She turned to walk toward the Queen, but the moment she saw the man next to her, she froze. 

She blinked several times, the man and Aelswith seeming closer each time, and when they stopped, just a few inches from her, she realized Uhtred had left her side. She couldn't blame him, Uhtred had never been welcomed by Lady Aelswith. 

"Lady Saegyth, I hope you found some peace during the mass, though the persons in your company must have made it hard." She declared, taking the occasion to express her dislike to the King's nephew and Uhtred. 

Saegyth's usual easy smile in the Queen's presence hardly came to grace her face. Her eyes were locked with the man, her heart nervously thumbing in her chest. She had little hopes that he hadn't recognized her, but at the way he was studying each part of her, she guessed he was doing an introspection of how she had changed since the last time they met.

"I had some, Lady." She simply replied. 

"That is good to hear." Aelswith barely tilted her head before raising her hand toward the man. "May I present you Lord Medwin. He is your late husband's brother. I thought it would be a good thing for you to finally meet." 

"We already did, Lady." Saegyth said.

"You did?" She seemed surprised, staring alternately to Saegyth and Medwin.

"It was a long time ago, Lady." He answered, his voice dry and emotionless. "I could hardly recognize you, Lady Saegyth." 

Medwin in the other hadn't changed since the day she met him, apart for the grey hair around his ears. He was the spitting portrait of her husband now. 

"Then you must have things to say to each other, I'll let you alone." Aelswith kindly said, leaving before Saegyth could find any excuse to follow her and let Medwin behind. 

She clenched her jaw, suddenly wishing she was with Finan in the alehouse. She briefly looked up to the sky, the sun had only done a half of his ascension, which means she wouldn't join him soon. She took a deep breath and finally spoke directly to Medwin. "It is a surprise to see you here, Lord Medwin." 

"The feeling is shared. I heard you were enjoying your widow's life in the Dane Slayer's estate." He said, taking the lead of their walk toward the palace. 

Saegyth frowned, first wondering what he knew of her life in Coccham and second if this was a reproach. "Only my life." She corrected him. 

"As you should." He tilted his head and the shadow of a smile on his face. 

Medwin and Saegyth had met only once, during a Christmas at her father's estate, her first as a wife. They hadn't even talked but he had fixed her the whole dinner. She never knew why, but she had been grateful her husband had been too drunk to notice it. 

"I'm glad to see that the frightened girl I've met disappeared." He declared, making Saegyth huffed. 

"I don't want to talk about old times." She crossed her arms, looking away. 

Medwin suddenly stopped to walk, forcing her to face him. "I know my brother was cruel to you. He was with all his wives." 

"And you did nothing." She snapped, anger rising in her chest.

"He was cruel to me as well, since we were children." He replied, his finger pointing to his chest.

Saegyth widened her eyes, not expecting him to also be a victim of the wrath of her husband. She opened her mouth, searching words, but she could only spatter, looking down: "I am sorry."

He didn't react to her excuses. Instead, his eyes got lost in the agitation of the street. "I opposed him once. He was humiliating his first wife in public. The punishment he reserved me was enough to keep me from doing it again." He explained and when their gazes crossed again, she noticed how much he was really hurt. She felt guilty for judging him so fast, thinking he was no better than his brother. "I am sorry. I've been a coward, I should have opposed him again and again." 

"No! No you're not. You have nothing to blame you for. He was of the devil, that is all." She hesitantly put her hands on his arms, squeezing them lightly. 

"I meant it, when I said I was glad to not see the frightened girl I met anymore." He gave her a lopsided smile, that she found strange on him. "You are strong, Lady." 

"We both are." 

Medwin shook his head as her hand dropped back to her sides. "I don't think I am. He still haunts me. He will always." 

Saegyth knowingly smiled at him. It took her time to recover. She didn't forget what he had done to her, all she took her. But he was probably right, she had had the strength to stand up after his death and to become the woman she wanted to be.

"It was a pleasure to see you again, Lady Saegyth." He genuinely said, stepping back. "I wish you well." 

"And I wish the same to you, Lord Medwin." She smiled as she watched him leave. 

It took her a moment to take back the direction to the palace for the banquet. When she arrived in the throne room, occasionally filled with multiple tables, Uhtred had kept her a place at his side. 

"Who was the man?" He asked her before biting in a chicken's wing once she was sitting. 

"An old friend." She simply said, putting food on her plate. 

She barely ate, her mind still focused on her conversation with Medwin. He told her to enjoy her life, and she thought until now she had been pretty good at it, convincing Aelwulf that she could leave on her own and following Uhtred to Coccham. 

But for a few weeks now, there was something new that was guiding her every choice : love. 

Oh, she had loved before! She had loved her mother, she loved her brother Aelwulf. But there was something different in the way she was loving Finan. Last night, the simple touch of his hand had created a consuming desire in her body. And the indomitability of this feeling had destabilised her. 

She thought the only way to heal from her husband's cruelty was to handle her life. But this, maybe, was something she couldn't control and letting go of it was how she would enjoy her life. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello my friends !  
> First I don't think I ever thanked you for the 1000 hits ! That's so crazy!! So thank you, thank you very much for reading, putting kudos and commenting ! 
> 
> Idk what to tell you about this chapter, ideas came and I wrote lmaoo. But I liked writing the conversation between Saegyth and her brother in law, I thought it was much more.... interesting that just her telling Finan her husband was cruel; though she will eventually tell him I guess 🤷
> 
> And also, we love a respectful Irishman 😌
> 
> Thank you again for reading 🥰😘


	14. Chapter 14

When Saegyth entered her house, a fire was crackling in the living room, flames' light dancing on the walls. She frowned, doubting the fire had burned all this time without being fed. She walked to the bedroom, the floor squeaking under her now barefoot. She pushed the door slowly and smiled as she discovered Finan asleep. 

He was sleeping on his belly, the orange light of dusk making the scars covering his back shine. His thick hair was messy and hiding most of his face, but she could easily imagine his peaceful expression. She sat on the edge of the bed, and she heard him growl as the mattress shifted, he mustn't be asleep for a long time. She looked above her shoulders and he had rolled on his back, his eyes slightly open to get used to the light. 

"Ya're already back?" He noticed, his hand rubbing his beard as he yawned. 

"I said I was unwell." She replied, half smiling at him. 

"Are ya?" Finan sat up reaching for the hand she had pressed against the furs. 

She fully turned to him, folding her legs under her and taking his hand. She kept her eyes on the gentle movement of his thumb against her knuckles. 

"I think I am." She hesitated. "My husband's brother was here." 

Finan paused for an instant, his eyebrows furrowing as she noticed how tightened his jaw was. Then he rubbed her skin again, nodding to incite her to continue.

Saegyth exhaled, gathering the memories of their discussion earlier. "He told me my husband was cruel with him too, since they were children." She stopped observing Finan's reaction. He was holding her gaze, his lips were pinched together, forming a thin line, so far from his usual grin. "He said he was still haunting him."

She looked down, still feeling guilty to have misjudged Medwin. They had been through the same misery, and when she was close to leaving all of this in the past, the poor man was still trapped in it. 

"Does he?" She stared back at Finan, his features had softened but they were still tensed by worry. "Haunt you?" He added.

"Sometimes." She almost whispered after a moment. "A rough laugh can make me think of him. Or when I drop something, I can hear the echo of his shouts." She admitted her throat tight. She turned his hand and traced the white line in his palm. "But it's just scars." She said, remembering what she had told him, about a month ago. 

A long silence settled between them before Finan finally spoke again.

"He wouldn't already be dead, I'd kill him myself." He snarled, his free hand grabbing angrily the furs as his gaze darkened.

Saegyth immediately let go of his other hand to turn his head toward her, the hatred burning in his eyes fading slightly when he met hers. "But he is dead Finan, and there's much more important things than hating a dead man." She firmly said. "It has been the most difficult years of my life, but I wouldn't be who I am without it."

"I'd love ya whoever ya were."

Saegyth blinked several times at Finan's words while her heart missed a beat, her hands dropping from his face. "Love?" She repeated incredulously, as she had just dreamt the word coming out of his mouth.

Finan huffed, a smile pulling at his lips. "I mean it. I… I thought I'd never have the right to love someone so deeply, that I'd be cursed for the rest of my life." There was a hint of sadness gleaming in his eyes, but it quickly disappeared as he spoke again. "But ya… Ya proved me wrong." 

Saegyth found herself with no word to say. She felt overwhelmed by a thousand emotions and all she could do was to lean forward and kiss him, a little abruptly as Finan fell back on the bed, pulling her with him. They both chuckled but it didn't stop them, his fingers tangling in her hair while his other hand was curving around her waist. Their kiss became eager and she parted her lips when Finan's did, their tongues meeting. 

And there it was again, that heat growing in her belly. An untamable fire, spreading in her whole body, warming her skin and melting every logical thought. But this time she wouldn't resist. 

She pulled away, out of breath and sat on Finan's laps. She noticed how careful he was in his move, not rushing her. His hand was resting on her thigh, she took it delicately, kissing his palm. "I love you too Finan."

She let go of his hand, and she undid the laces in the back of her dress. She passed it over her head before tossing it on the floor. Finan's eyes were sparking with amazement, carefully detailing each line of her exposed body. She felt blush coloured her cheeks but she wasn't uncomfortable, his gaze was soft, and there wasn't this impression of being just an object. 

She leaned down to him, but before she was able to kiss him, Finan whispered. "We don't have to." 

He gently put a strand of her hair back behind her ear before looking back into her eyes, searching her gaze. But Saegyth was sure of herself. She wanted to know what it was to be loved, and to love in return, before they had to leave for Coccham tomorrow. "I want to. I want to love you with my whole body and soul."

Finan took it as an approval and he finally allowed himself to touch her. His calloused hands ran over her waist and back and she was surprised how tender was his touch. He sat up, kissing her feverly in the process. 

"I'll make you forget the bastard." He growled as he kissed the line of her jaw. 

She chuckled a little, touched by Finan's intention but also because of his beard tickling her skin. She forced him to look at her again, her hand cupping his cheek. "Just show me how to love." 

"Oh, I will,  _ mo grá _ ." He whispered against her lips, and though she didn't know the meaning of his words, it made her shiver. 

She bent her head again to kiss him, her arms wrapping around his neck. His hand followed the curve of her waist, spreading goosebumps. He cupped her breasts, his thumb grazing on her nipple and she hummed against his mouth. She felt his lips spread into a smirk as he playfully pressed his finger more and she instinctively rocked her hips against his. The friction it occurred sent thrills in her body, and it seemed to provoke Finan the same as he groaned. 

He left her lips then he started to press hot kisses on her shoulder and collarbone. She felt his hand travelling down on her stomach and she stared at him curiously. 

"Ya trust me?" He asked softly, looking up to her.

"I do." She breathed. 

"Ya won't regret it." He teased her and his hand slid between her thighs. 

She gasped as his fingers created those thrills again, but this time much more intense. Finan seemed to perfectly know what he was doing, the feeling getting stronger each passing second. She felt the need to moan, the sound surprising herself as it fell from her lips. Her fingers, buried in Finan's long hair, pulled at some strands and he threw his head back so she could kiss him roughly again. 

The pleasure was overwhelming, blurring every Saegyth's thoughts and letting only the want of more. "Finan." She whispered, her eyes shut and forehead rested against his. "I need to feel all of you." 

When she opened her eyes, Finan's ones were sparking with so much desire she felt like she was a miracle. "As my Lady wants." He smirked, pressing a quick kiss on her lips.

Finan removed his hand and Saegyth felt almost frustrated that she had to wait for him to untie his pants. She stood on her knees, laughing lightly as Finan struggled to slide his trousers along his legs. Once he finally tossed them to the floor, he looked up to her, his hand curving on her hips, his other guiding himself as she slid down on him. 

It felt so different from the previous times. There was no pain, instead they seemed to perfectly fit together. 

She didn't really know what to do for a second, she had never been in control. But Finan was kind enough to explain to her, his hands on her thighs guided her movements and slowly she got the pace. She arched her back slightly, her chest grazing against his while his fingers were digging her flesh. 

She could feel his hot and panting breath on her shoulder, whispering her name as lips wondered on her skin. She was kinda proud to be the one provoking such adulation from Finan. But the thought disappeared quickly as he pressed his finger as earlier and she reached a high she never imagined could exist. Clung to him, her nails slightly scratching the back of his neck, her breath hitched by a moan of ecstasy as Finan thrust back. 

"Christ, Saegyth." He growled, bringing her mouth to his in another rough and messy kiss as he found his own relief. 

Finan fell back on the mattress, bringing her with him, his arms wrapped around her waist. They remained a moment like this, catching up their breath. Saegyth's ear was pressed against his chest and she could hear how his heart was beating as fast as hers. 

She eventually pushed away from him and laid next to him, chuckling at the feeling of satisfaction running in her veins. "Well, this was something." She smiled, turning her head to his. "I don't even have words." 

Finan giggled. "There's no need for such things." 

"You could well be right." She replied in a light tone, moving to nestle in his arms, her legs tangled with his.

"I'm Irish, lass, I'm always right." He grinned. 

…

Finan suddenly opened his eyes, his back slightly leaving the mattress. His breath was shaking, as were his hands as he ran one in his hair, finding it quite wet with sweat. He stared at the cellar, trying to make the images fade, but it wasn't. And hatred and sadness was mixing, giving him an urgent need to scream. 

But a hand gently grazed on his chest, soothing the feeling a little. He turned his head and he met Saegyth's sleepy blue eyes, but also worried. He cursed himself for having woken her up in the middle of the night. 

"Finan?" Her hand came to rest on his cheek, her thumb rubbing his beard. "Did you have a nightmare?" 

Finan swallowed but finally nodded. She carefully moved closer to him and he welcomed the warmth of her naked skin. He held her tight, her head resting on his shoulder. They remained silent a long moment, Saegyth drawing small shapes on his chest with her finger, before she dared to speak again. 

"Were you on the ship?" Her voice was prudent as she asked it. 

Finan clenched his jaw. They had never really talked of the contents of his nightmares, but he wasn't surprised she guessed where his sleep was dragging him back. But this time, he wasn't on this damn ship. He was in Ireland. 

"Not this time." He said, and he realised his mouth was dry.

Saegyth stopped her drawings and softly shifted in his arms to look at him. She delicately removed the hair falling over his face, her gaze studying him. "You know you can talk to me about them."

"I know."

A tender and reassuring smile spread on her lips but he couldn't give it back. "Then tell me Finan, only to relieve yourself of a little of their weight."

"That's not a pretty story to tell." He mumbled, avoiding her eyes. 

"And I'm no pretty little thing." She replied and Finan huffed. "I can hear everything, Finan." She added, much softer.

He sighed, closing his eyes a moment. She waited patiently for him to find the words. 

"I think that what happened to your brother-in-law reminded me of myself." He slowly said and Saegyth eyebrows immediately furrowed. 

He sighed, knowing this would lead to a long discussion he avoided for months. 

"My brother, he is a damn bastard too. He's the one that sold me." Saegyth's eyes widened in horror, lips slightly parted as he continued to speak. "And I was back on my knees, beggin' him to spare her." 

"The woman you loved?" 

"Aye." And he noticed how she seemed to puzzle all the small information he gave her during the past few months. She mustn't have found any logical story as she stared at him again, quite confused. 

"Who was she?" She carefully asked, her palm resting on his shoulder. 

It took him a moment to answer, his fingers doing lines on her back, trying to ease the shame and guilty he was feeling. He feared her reaction, could she reject him for what he had done? But as she said, she was no pretty little thing. She had a pitiful marriage and had been abused, and he hoped it would make her understand what he had done. 

But mostly, she said, no more than a few hours ago, that she loved him. And he was now hoping this love would be strong enough. 

He wished he could just go back to sleep and let this discussion for another day, one that would never come, but he had already made a step too far.

"Maybe I should start from the beginning." He sighed, his other hand passing over his face. 

"Take your time." She reassured him, her hand kindly resting on his when dropped his own on his chest. 

His fingertips nervously drummed on her lower back and finally he started the story, his eyes darkening in a way that visibly worried Saegyth who squeezed his hand tighter. 

"Ireland is made of a lot of countries, ya know. When I was still there, I was the Prince of one of them, I was supposed to be the next King." The woman's eyes widened at his revelation but she said nothing. He exhaled before continuing. "I was married to a Uì Néill princess. They have the strongest kingdom, so it brought greatness to ours. But I didn't love her, even though she was kind and gave me two sons." 

He paused a moment, studying Saegyth's expression and he was relieved to see no judgement. 

"I have a brother, Conall, and he had a wife. She was a simple maid, but we fell in love and because we were young and foolish we ran away." 

"They searched you?" It was more an affirmation than a question.

"There's nowhere to hide in Ireland. Conall and the Uì Neill, they found us." As he foretold the story, he realised how obvious the end was. How could they have had the hope to escape? 

A tear rolled down his cheek and she wiped it with her thumb. He tilted his head, appreciating the warmth of her palm. "And your brother sold you then." 

"After the Uì Neill humiliated and whipped me. But it's nothin' compared to what they'd done to her. It was horrible." 

He greeted his teeth, the sight of what they forced him to see, chained and back bloodied, reappearing in the darkness of the bedroom. He remembered little of her face, but the pain and despair in her expression were of an unmistakable clarity in his mind. Though he couldn't say the word to describe what caused it. He remained silent and Saegyth didn't insist on hearing it.

"And only after, they killed her." He eventually whispered. 

"She's at peace now." Saegyth said, an affirmation meant to reassure him and she was probably right, but at what price?

Seeing Finan's dubious expression, she moved away from him, letting him feel suddenly cold, though furs were still covering him. She gathered pillows against the headboard, making it comfortable to rest half-sit.

"Come here." She softly told him, though her tone was quite firm, grabbing his hand to pull him toward her.

Finan fitted himself between her legs and laid against her, his head resting against her chest and one of his arms wrapped around her waist. The sound of her heartbeats were soothing as they remained silent, her fingers curling in his hair. But her silence was worrying him. 

"Are ya disappointed?" He asked, his voice sounding childish.

She huffed, her chest jumping. "Finan, you said you would love me whoever I was." She reminded him, and the words seemed even truer from her mouth. "Well, I love you whoever you are."

He felt a wave of affection running through his body and he instinctively held her even tighter. He had this feeling of being weak when he was between her arms, his emotions impossible to hide. But it was a welcome weakness, because he knew she would never judge him. She would carry his secrets and the pain accompanying them, and he hoped she knew he could do the same for her. 

And lulled by the regular sound of her heart and rise of her chest as she breathed, he finally fell asleep again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eheh almost 3000 words ! No guarantee they will all be that long though lmaoo
> 
> This night was definitely full of event ahah! I hope the smut part wasn't too bad, I had a hard time writing it because, well, it was no simple smut. It's a whole new thing for Saegyth and I tried to express it the best I could. 😅 
> 
> And for Finan's backstory I used what he told Uhtred in book 9 and that I hope will be the same in the next season if they don't change everything. (They better not because it's going to be Finan's season !! And I want to see Conall 🙄)
> 
> Anyway, I finished the last book last weekend, and god damn it, it was so good ! No spoilers of course, but it inspired me a lot of things for Finan and Saegyth aha ! 
> 
> Thank you for the comments and the kudos! Yall always make my days 💕


	15. Chapter 15

"What weather."

Gisela was staring outside, the rain, that didn't stop to fall since the morning, was making it hard to see at the other side of the square. With an exasperated sigh, she turned on her heels, looking at Saegyth who was poking the fire after putting more wood. 

"Poor boys, having to scout with that rain." Gisela added, walking toward her friend. 

"They will be lucky if they don't come back with a cold." Saegyth let her gaze fall on Gisela. "I can't deny, I'm quite happy I decided to stay here." She admitted, rubbing the back of her neck. 

With spring, Danes were coming south again, and Uhtred regularly wanted to take a few warriors and keep an eye on the boats sailing on the Thames. They left this very morning, under the same heavy rain. 

She had longly hesitated to follow them, and Finan almost pleading her to join didn't help in her decision. But her reason took over and she watched them leave from the front door of the Great Hall, Gisela by her side. Finan had briefly waved her goodbye before he followed the others already marching. Her heart had sunk at the small smile he gave her, she knew he was disappointed but she had important matters in Coccham that couldn't wait. 

Gisela rested her hands on her hips, studying Saegyth with attention. "Why didn't you go by the way? I know you are back in Coccham since only last week, but you're not the kind to rest."

Saegyth couldn't say if she was impressed or taken aback by the correctness of her friend. She spent months convincing Uhtred to take her with him and now that he didn't even ask her to stay, she did it by herself. She bit her lower lip, a clear sign that something was troubling her mind. 

"So, will you tell me ?" Gisela insisted, raising an eyebrow. 

"That's… That's quite delicate to ask." Her fingers nervously played with the ribbon around her wrist, the one Finan gifted her. "You know things about plants, don't you?" 

Gisela's face softened and her hands dropped from her hips. "I do." She slightly furrowed her eyebrows. 

She paused again before asking. "Do you know something that could prevent any pregnancy?"

Gisela fixed her with a confused expression while Saegyth was nervously wiping her hands on the skirt of her dress. Suddenly, her friend's face broke into a cheeky smile and she stepped towards her. "Is it for you?"

Saegyth couldn't say if she was relieved of her reaction or even more uncomfortable. For a moment she felt as a child whose mother had found out about their silliness. Though, she was pretty sure her mother didn't have a huge smirk when she used to scold her.

"It is." She admitted, looking down.

"Gods, Saegyth, did you lay with Finan?" 

"What?" Saegyth exclaimed, her cheeks blushing so much she felt like the warmth would burn her. If she had the power to disappear in an instant, she would gladly use it. "How do you know?" 

Gisela was smiling innocently as she started to explain how she came to this conclusion. "Well, Uhtred told me Finan slept at your house again in Winchester. And that you spent most of your time together." She chuckled as she noticed how Saegyth seemed to melt just in front of her, realising how obvious it was there was something between her and Finan. "Am I right?" She finally proudly asked. 

"You are." Saegyth admitted and she gasped of surprise when Gisela hugged her. 

"I am so happy for you. Finan is a good man." She smiled, her hands resting on Saegyth's shoulders.

Gisela's visible joy relaxed her a little. She let a smile grow on her lips. "Thank you." She still shyly replied. 

The Dane Lady walked away, enthusiastically and Saegyth tracked her visually. "We are going to have another reason to celebrate then." She winked at her. 

"Celebrate what ?" Gisela tilted her head and Saegyth immediately understood what she meant behind her words. "Oh no Gisela, we don't intend to marry. Not right now at least…" She started to explain, her hands waving in the air.

"Is it why you don't want to be pregnant?" She carefully demanded and Saegyth felt uncomfortable again. 

"That and…" She wrapped her arms around her chest, like it could prevent emotions to show. But there was a distinct pain on her face as she admitted the truth. "I am not sure I can give birth to a healthy child. And I don't think I can bear another loss."

"Oh, Saegyth." Almost immediately, she was in Gisela's arms again. 

She hugged her a moment, and Saegyth realized how precious was her friendship with her. A year had passed since they first met in the nunnery where she was hiding, and from a complete stranger, she had become like a sister to her. 

"Have you talked about it with Finan?" Gisela asked once she stepped back, though her hands were still resting on her arms.

"He knows about my losses." Gisela nodded, her thumbs rubbing the fabric of her sleeves. 

"Alright… I know something that can work, but there's no guarantee it will all the time." She warned her, but it was enough for another smile to grow on Saegyth's face. 

"Thank you so much Gisela."

"You'll thank me if it works."

…

A ripple of laughter escaped Saegyth lips as Finan trailed kisses down her throat, his hand tangled in her golden hair.

"Christ, I've missed ya." He growled against her skin.

Finan had returned, along with Uhtred and the other men, earlier that day after two weeks of spying on the Daneland's border. 

"I can see that." She tilted her head to the side for him to have better access.

It was the middle of the afternoon and they were enjoying their reunion on the shore of the lake, Finan sitting against an old oak and Saegyth on his laps. He kissed the few skin her tunic's neckline was revealing. 

"How was the trip?" She asked him after bringing his mouth to hers. 

"Long." He sighed. "I couldn't stop thinking about ya." 

"What a misery it must have been." She teased him, her hand wandering down his waist. 

As she could read in his mind, she slipped her hand under his tunic, making his abs contract under her touch. He caught her lips again, appreciating to be close to her again. Finan had starved of food and water long enough for a lifetime, but it felt like nothing after he had craved for her lips and touch for more than two weeks.

"Beside this?" She continued her interrogation. 

Finan exhaled, resting his head against the trunk. "Sihtric and Clapa didn't stop teasin' me about a certain Lady blindin' me." 

He rolled his eyes, thinking of this conversation they had in an alehouse on their way back, Sihtric had kept saying a woman was looking at Finan and Clapa on the other hand was reminding the young Dane he had already another woman in mind. 

It seemed to amuse Saegyth. "They are insightful." 

"They started even before we went to Winchester." He added and it made her smile even more. 

"Oh ? For how long have I been blinding you, then?" She leaned her head to come and kiss the junction between his shoulder and neck, her hand discovering more of his upper body, fingers following scars. 

He hummed at the sensations, his eyes closed, and thought about her question. He had seen some women before King Alfred offered Coccham to Uhtred, but only for a night and it had never been like it had been with Saegyth almost three weeks ago. He had felt a distinct pleasure and pride into seeing her lose herself to him, and only him, but mostly being the one provoking it.

"Since ya saved me on that beach." He growled, twisting when she tickled his side lightly when he was too long to answer. "I couldn't be with any woman without wishin' 't'was ya." 

Her thumb traced the line of one of his muscles, stopping at his waistband, and he regretted they weren't already naked just to feel her sweet burning touch lower.

"And now that you have me?" Her lips were brushing his, their slow breaths already entangled, but it felt like a torture to not kiss her already. 

"Now I just can't be with any other woman than ya." 

"A relief." She commented before he caught her lips in a bruising kiss. 

He grabbed her hips roughly and laid her on the grass, making her chuckle against his mouth. Soon enough they found themselves rid of their clothes, a melody of sighs and moans of pleasure playing between them. And laying with her brought him this huge feeling of finally being at home. They could have been lost in the middle of the ocean, as long as she was by his side, he wouldn't be afraid. His heart would be at home.

Later, he stared at her while she was dressing up again. He tightened his belt before walking behind her to kiss her still naked shoulders tenderly. 

"I love you." He whispered, his hand running down her waist. 

Since the first time he said it to her, he noticed how it seemed to light something in her. Something that was showing in her eyes, the way they seemed to spark in amazement to just simple words. Though, he knew as well they weren't that simple because he was pretty sure he was looking the same when she replied.

"I love you too." She genuinely smiled, and he kissed that face right away, like he could save this smile and make it stay forever.

She crouched to take her tunic on the floor, dusting it, and a question came to burn his lips. "Why didn't you come?"

Saegyth paused as she was about to put her shirt. She half turned to him, and her smile had disappeared. "I had things to do." 

"Right, I know. But what things?" He insisted but when her eyes uncomfortably avoided his, he regretted having. "Nevermind. That's not important." He made a lopsided smile, trying to push the subject away. 

There was a heavy silence while he finished to dress up and he cursed himself several times for having created it. After he put on his boots, he started to gather his hair to tie it, but he stopped when he felt her hand slide on his. She took the ribbon from his fingers and attached his hair herself. Once she was done, she sighed, resting her forehead between his shoulder blades.

"I guess, you should know." She said softly.

"Ya don't have to."

"But it concerns you." She whispered, her hand squeezing his upper arm. 

Finan swallowed, trying to find out what could concern him. But because nothing came to his mind, he turned on his heels, facing Saegyth. "Alright." His fingers blindly searched hers as he tried to read behind her eyes.

She exhaled, her shoulders heavily falling. "I needed to ask something to Gisela." She kept her vision locked on their entangled fingers. "For something that could prevent women from being pregnant." 

Finan looked at her with wide eyes. "For ya?" She bit her lips so hard, he thought she would break her skin. He half - cupped her face, his thumb running over her bottom lip to prevent her from hurting herself more. "Saegyth…" 

She finally raised her chin, daring to meet his gaze. "I'm too scared to lose another one Finan. And at the same time, I don't want to lose what you make me feel." She hesitated on her last words. 

Finan nodded slowly, taking in what she just told, his palm still on her cheek. They had never talked about any future, and to be true he didn't even think of it. He still had a hard time thinking of what lays after the present when only a year ago he could see nothing. And if anything, it was death.

He remembered the evening they had celebrated Gisela's pregnancy and how she cried in his arms. He didn't want her to suffer more, and even less to be the source of it. So he leaned to kiss her forehead and the moment his lips were pressed on her skin, he heard her sigh in some sort of relief.

"I'll follow whatever you want. And whatever happens, I'll be here." 

She blinked tears but he didn't even have time to kindly swipe them away, she wrapped her arms around his neck and hid her face there. He held her tight as well, his hands curving around her waist. 

"I love you so much. You can't even imagine." She said, slightly pushing away from him.

"Oh, I think I can." He smirked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry it took me soooo long to publish again ! But I have been busy with school and this chapter have been a hard time. I must have rewritten it 5 times 😩
> 
> Anyway! Yeah I know contraception is hardly used at the time and working, but it was important for Saegyth's character to find a way to prevent any pregnancy. And well there was prostitute at the time and they probably couldn't be pregnant all the time, so I suppose there must have been something working a little! 
> 
> Next chapter will be back into some interesting plot and I hope it won't take as much time as this chapter 🙄😬
> 
> Thank you for reading, lovelies 💕


	16. Chapter 16

Finan yawned as he shifted position on his spot on the small platform above the gates. The sun was at the top of his daily travel in the sky and he had been here to watch it since first lights. It was the end of the summer, but the small shadow that provided the wooden half-wall was barely enough to keep him from the heat. 

"Something is coming." 

The Irishman looked up to Sihtric, his hands clenched on the fence, in front of him. He stood up and narrowed his eyes, scrutinizing the horizon where the Dane was pointing. 

"Horsemen." He commented after a moment, seeing multiple dots growing. "And the King's banner." He frowned at the group coming toward them, a flag ornamented with the figure of a golden dragon. His hand nervously hovered over the hilt of his sword before patting Sihtric's shoulder, he had a bad feeling. "Go fetch Uhtred." 

Finan remained perched on top of the gates even when Uhtred arrived and ordered the guards to open them. He briefly turned around to look in the village. He noticed Saegyth approaching, wearing her training outfit, with Hild. When he caught her gaze, he shrugged at the interrogation that seemed to reign on her face. 

He looked back to the men arriving, they were now close enough for him to distinguish each of them. At the head was Alfred, he had seen him only a few times, never from close, but he could recognize his scrawny shape under his cloak. At his right, the Ealdorman Odda, who he had the occasion to talk briefly with at the alehouse. He appreciated the man, after some cups of ale he always had good stories to tell. But at the King’s left, was standing a young man he couldn’t recognize. He guessed he was an Ealdorman as well to ride next to Alfred.

When they reached the gates, he tried to listen to the small conversation Uhtred was having with Alfred, but he could barely hear a thing. At the way his Lord fingers were drumming on his crossed arms, it was easy to see he wasn’t reassured by this surprised visit. But he finally motionned to let them in.

Finan climbed down the platform but as soon as he had a foot on the floor his attention was caught by the young Ealdorman who just jumped down from his horse. His hair was light and an uncertain beard was covering his strong features. However, a huge grin grew on his face when he perceived Saegyth at the other side of the yard. 

"Is that Saegyth the great warrior that I see?" He amusingly shouted at her attention as she approached.

"Watch your words idiot, I won't hesitate to stab you in your sleep." She snapped, though a warm smile was glued on her face. 

The man heartily laughed before taking her in an strong embrace, her feet almost leaving the floor. Finan frowned as he noticed how similar their hair were. The Ealdorman eventually let her go, his hand resting on her shoulders. They briefly talked but not loud enough for him to hear, walking toward the Great Hall where Uhtred and Alfred already were. 

"Who's that?" 

Finan blinked at Sihtric's voice next to him, having not expected him. "Her brother, I suppose." 

"Good, so you can stop staring at him as you were planning to kill him." The Dane smirked and Finan rolled his eyes.

It had been a long time since anyone had teased him about Saegyth, their relationship not being a secret anymore to their closest friends, despite never really having been one somehow. Sihtric tapped his shoulder, inciting him to move and help to handle the unexpected arrival of the King. 

For the most part of the afternoon, Finan got busy with the reorganisation of the guard and chaperoning the preparation for the night the King's household would spend in Coccham. But at the end of the day, he finally found some calm in the armory while making his usual inventory. 

"I thought you might have disappeared." 

If the silence was enjoyable, he found Saegyth's light voice even more. She was standing in the doorway, this time wearing the dress she used to wear for big occasions, the fabric of a light blue that was highlighting her eyes. 

"The King's arrival gave us a lot to do." He shrugged and was glad to see her close the few steps gap separating them. With her arms around his neck and his around her waist, he welcomed her lips. "And ya? Are ya enjoying your day?" 

A huge smile blessed her face, her eyes sparking of joy. "I am. I'm so happy my brother is here, it's been such a long time." 

“I noticed that.” He tilted his head, the bad feeling he had when perceiving the horsemen coming back. Usually when Alfred wanted to see Uhtred, and it was always for some christian festivity for which he used to send a letter to Coccham. So there had to be a reason for the King to make all the way to Coccham, and he doubted it to be a good one. “Why are they here?” 

Saegyth removed her arms looking down to their feet. “They didn’t say anything yet.” She clasped her hands together and lifted her chin. “But Uhtred would like you to join us for dinner.” Finan’s eyebrows furrowed confusingly, which seemed to amuse her. “As the commander of his household and right hand.”

“Commander?” He repeated with an eyebrow raised, the title sounding new and unexpected but far from displeasing him. 

Saegyth hummed in agreement. “Commander of Lord Uhtred’s household. It suits you.” She whispered her last word as he growled appreciatively at her fingers scratching his beard. 

“I think I like it too.” He smirked, hearing it from her mouth making it even better, and leaned to kiss her but she stopped him with her finger on his lips. He alternatively looked under his nose and her eyes before raising an eyebrow. 

“We are going to be late. You wouldn’t like to make a bad impression right after having been promoted, uh?” 

Finan rolled his eyes and grabbed her wrist to move it away and crash his lips on hers anyway. It had been almost half a year since he first kissed her and he couldn't get tired of it, those soft and full lips. He finally pulled away, letting her nearly out of breath while he was proudly grinning. "Now we can go."

When they walked in the Great Hall, everyone was already sitting, Alfred at the head of the table, at his right, Gisela and Uhtred, and at his left, Odda and Aelwulf, Saegyth's brother. As he took place next to Uhtred, a feeling of déjà vu grew in his mind, memories from another lifetime, when he used to be the one sitting just beside a King. 

He grabbed the jar of ale and filled himself a cup while Odda finished to talk. He took this occasion to give a closer look to Aelwulf. The golden boy was grinning so much he wondered if the corner of his mouth could reach his ears by dint. He had blue piercing eyes, just like Saegyth but when he let them rest on him, they didn't feel as reassuring as his lover's ones. 

When Odda was over with his story, Uhtred cleared his throat to have the attention. "Lord King, may I ask what is the reason you are here?"

Alfred remained silent for a moment, joining his hand in front of him. "I am here to see with my own eyes that this Coccham is kept well." He explained. 

"And what are your thoughts, Lord King?" Gisela asked carefully, her hands instinctively grabbing Uhtred's one on the table.

Alfred turned his head to the Danish Lady and kindly smiled. "They are good Lady Gisela. They are good." He marked a small pause before this time looking toward Aelwulf. "I am also here to be sure you will listen and accept Lord Aelwulf's request." 

Finan barely noticed the hitch in Uhtred's eyebrows as he instead shared a glance with Saegyth, just in front of him. He clenched his jaw, realizing he couldn't take her hand or rest his on her thigh to ease her sudden anxiety. Or maybe it was his. It had become such a habit in the past months that he was now wondering how he had lived so many years without.

"And what is that request ?" Uhtred demanded Aelwulf. 

The man's face became serious, the curve of his smile falling into a thin line. He slightly shifted on his chair before eventually speaking. "My lands are being ravaged by the Danes. Until now I managed to keep them south but I recently lost a strong place, and they decided to remain there. I lost many men in previous fights and I don't have enough to defeat them." 

"I don't have many men." The Lord of Coccham replied, foreseeing Aelwulf request.

"It's not your men I want." He leaned forward to fill his cup and bring it to his mouth. "I'm forging other alliances to find them." He smirked confidently before taking a sip of ale. "What I would like from you, is your mind." 

Uhtred huffed and shared an amused gaze with Finan as if it was a joke. The Irishman simply shrugged, now curious to know more of Aelwulf's thoughts. "My mind?" The Dane Slayer repeated. 

The young Ealdorman took a deep breath, his expression grave once again. "I was here at Ethandun, to fight against the Danes. I saw you break their shield wall on your own from behind my shield, all frightened I was. I thank you for the courage it gave me, without it I wouldn't be here drinking such good ale." He chuckled at his last words before drinking the rest of his cup. "I need your mind to know how to defeat them." 

…

"Do you think he will accept?" 

Saegyth looked up from the potato she was peeling to her brother who was walking in circles in her kitchen. After Aelwulf had exposed his request, Uhtred had answered he needed to think about it and since early this morning, he was untenable, too impatient to have an answer. 

"It's not like Alfred is giving him a lot of choices. Now sit down and help me." She designated the empty chair in front of her with her knife. He obediently did what she asked and started to remove the skin from a potato. Saegyth frowned when she noticed his grin. "Why are you smiling?"

"You sound like Mother, when she used to send us to the kitchen to keep us entertained." 

"You never found helping in the kitchen entertaining, Aelwulf." 

He laughed, a sound that always warmed her heart since she was a child. It reminded her of her birth home, of good old days that seemed even further now. "That's true, the old Elfilda would send me right back to Mother." 

They talked for other long minutes, Saegyth more than happy to see that her brother hadn't changed a bit. She enjoyed hearing him talk of his wife and children, there was such pride in his words, it made her heart melt. Last time she had seen him was after the battle of Ethandun, his first battle. She had been so scared to lose him, the last person that truly cared for her. Now he was a man, a father and a warrior, all she had ever hoped for him.

When they were done, Saegyth collected the potatoes and put them in a pot of water before hanging it over the fire. As she did, she found him awkwardly silent.

"Do you like your life here ?" 

"I do." Saegyth smiled while poking the wood that fed the flames. "It's simple, but I am free to live as I want." She turned around and was pleased to see her brother seemed to be happy for her, though there seemed to be some tension in his features. "And I have good friends here." 

"And you wouldn't like to change it?" This time his voice was more uncertain.

She raised her eyebrows, weary. "Why are you asking?"

Aelwulf waved his hands innocently, his usual smile coming back. "I'm just wondering if I'll ever see you again in Dorset." 

"I don't think you will." She regretted her answer to be so cold, but for a brief instant she felt like his question wasn't just innocent. 

A knock on the door interrupted them and she walked to open it. 

"Finan." She greeted the Irishman, her hand clenched on the handle to prevent herself from taking him in her arms. Instead she shared a long look with him before clearing her voice. "What are you doing here?" 

"Lord Uhtred would like to talk to your brother, I heard he was here."

Saegyth heard Aelwulf immediately stood up and joined them. "Did he make his choice?" Now that they were face to face, she noticed how her brother was even taller than Finan. She always knew her brother was an impressive man, just as their father, but right now it hit her particularly. 

"He did, Lord." Finan nodded.

"Awesome." He said under his breath. His hand squeezed Saegyth shoulder before walked out of the house. "I'll see you later then, sister." 

She watched him walk away, her back against the doorway. Finan was still here, but looking at her. She shivered at how his dark gaze detailed her with fascination, though she was pretty he already knew every inch of her. But she liked it, just to feel desired. 

"Can I do something for you, Commander?" She only looked at him from the corner of her eyes, intentionally insisting on the title and got satisfied at how his lips curled into a smirk. 

"Can I come in?" He asked, stepping closer. 

"Of course."

She moved away from the doorway, letting him in. Finan closed the door behind him and, now that they were both in the privacy of her house, he grabbed her waist to push her against the nearest wall. She took a sharp breath before his mouth was on hers and his body pressed against hers. She kept her hands at each side of his neck, her thumbs brushing his beard. She was still amazed how butterflies still seemed to grow in her stomach when he was kissing her, like it was the first time, ever and ever again. 

In the past months, Finan had made her discover feelings and sensations she never thought even possible and she had noticed how proud it was making him to surprise her. But she also took pleasure to give them back, to hear him bless her when he was at the edge of losing himself. And somehow, it made her feel more fulfilling than ever in her life. She was in control of everything. 

His mouth grew eager, kissing a path from her lips to neck. She hummed at the scratch of his beard on her skin, but she brought his lips back to hers, too aware of the light red marks it would let if he continued and doubting she could find a good explanation if her brother ever noticed.

She moved away when he worked on pulling her skirt up, leaving his fingers dangerously wandering on her exposed thigh. "We don't have time." 

"We can be quick." He replied not caring to cut her answer with another kiss. 

She pushed him with a hand on his chest. "Hild will come back, and I don't intend her holy eyes to see your bare arse."

"As if it wasn't a holy sight." He grinned and she slapped his shoulder softly despite laughing with him. "She's well enough occupied by some very godly discussion with the King." He said, trying to convince her while she shook her head in exasperation.

"You devil." She pulled his face down, her lips brushing against his before playfully biting his bottom one. In response his hand found its way between her legs, catching her a deep sigh. "You'll be the death of me."

"But what a death."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again I am so sorry for the time it took me to update! First Modern AU distracted me, and then ughh school again. 
> 
> We are reaching the last chapters of this fic ! Though I can already tell you it won't be the end of those two and I can't wait to develop them more through the event of the next seasons. But I'll talk to yall about that in detail when time comes ;)
> 
> Thanks for still reading, liking and commenting ! 💕


	17. Chapter 17

“So you’re coming with us, Lady?” 

“I am, Clapa. I can’t let you all have fun without me.” 

The giant man laughed as he put the saddle on his horse. The men leaving for Winchester were all gathered near the gates, all of them working on their upcoming departure. Saegyth stopped just in front of Clapa’s stallion, taking a moment to pet his ears. 

“It’s good you’re coming.” She turned when she heard Sihtric coming behind her. “Last time you stayed, Finan looked like a beaten dog the whole time.” He joked and almost immediately she heard the person concerned bark not far. 

“I heard that!” 

Saegyth and Sihtric glanced at each other amusingly before starting to chuckle. She patted the horse’s neck before joining Finan. He was hanging a bag to his saddle and she waited until he finished to talk. 

“We need to talk before we arrive in Winchester.” She said seriously, which made his eyebrows furrow. “You shouldn’t sleep at home this time.” 

Finan frowned even more. Saegyth’s house in Winchester had quite quickly become “their” house, the Irishman spending all his night with her there. She liked to have him around, helping to maintain the house or cook, it was a help gladly welcomed. But mostly, she liked to feel like they were just a simple couple living in the great city. But this time, she’d have to do without. 

“Why?” He confusingly asked. 

Saegyth sighed and briefly looked behind her, Aelwulf was talking with Uhtred. Since he had accepted his request, the day before, Aelwulf and him hadn’t stopped talking of their plan to defeat the Danes. She turned to Finan again and at the way he was pouting, he must have understood. “I am not sure my brother will be pleased to find you in my bed if he ever comes by unannounced.”

“I can sleep in the guest room.” He innocently replied but Saegyth rolled her eyes. 

“At least you’ll have less to walk to your bed if you’re drunk.” She teased him before leaving to prepare her own horse. 

They traveled for three days, when it would have usually taken them two to reach Winchester, but the King’s household was slow. Saegyth rode ahead, alongside her brother. She would have rather stayed behind to laugh with the men, but Aelwulf was a good company too. He had always been talkative, embellishing his stories with a bunch of profanities all more original than the precedent. 

“I’ll have to present you to a friend in Winchester.” He said the last day making Saegyth curiously raised an eyebrow. “Lord Wolstan.” He continued, looking at the horizon. 

“He wasn’t a friend of our father.” She cautioned him, remembering some of their father’s complaints about the young Lord and his overambitious plans.

At the time, he wanted to expand his family estate, going against his own father's authority to claim rights on lands. Of course the Lord of Dorset never accepted and Saegyth feared animosity could still control Wolstan even years after.

But Aelwulf shook his head, seeming confident in his new friendship. “He was young at the time, as we were all. He just had dreams.”

She dubiously stared at him for a moment, wondering if her brother's confidence might be his biggest default. Aelwulf was tall and strong, making him quite intimidating, but Saegyth lived long enough in the court to know snakes weren't to bite the biggest ones.

They eventually reached Winchester before dawn, greeted by Winchester’s inhabitants. Standing in the crows, Saegyth quickly noticed Thyra, holding a basket and kindly smiling. She slid down her horse, giving the reins to a young groom and walked to her, pleased to see her. 

“It’s good to see you.” Saegyth smiled, hugging the Dane tight once she put down her basket. 

Thyra pulled away, her hands resting on the Lady’s arms. “It’s good to see you too.” She briefly looked behind Saegyth, perceiving Uhtred waving at her and she waved back. “You should come at home, Beocca said he wanted to talk to you but the King kept him here." 

Saegyth tilted her head, curious to know what the priest needed to tell her. "Of course, maybe tomorrow? I promised my brother I'll come to meet one of his friends in the morning." 

Thyra's expression seemed to pause for a brief instant but she quickly nodded. "Alright." She smiled, took the basket and walked to welcome her brother. 

She stared at her for a moment before joining her horse again and taking the bag hung to the saddle. She had a weird feeling, like there were unspoken things, first with Aelwulf and then Thyra. She shook her head vigorously, trying to convince herself it was just an impression. That she was only nervous about the upcoming fight, that would happen on the lands of origin. But she also felt proud about it, she would fight for her people, to protect them like her family had promised for generations. She wondered if her mother would be proud, even her father. He might have put her in a miserable marriage, it had been his only way to strengthen Dorset's army against the Danes. She smiled to herself, in fact it would be the second time she fought for her people.

Even if Saegyth told him to not stay at her house, Finan stayed for dinner anyway after helping her to get the house in order. And to be honest, she didn't really have the heart to push him out of the cottage. So, she let him put two bowls on the table while she was keeping an eye on the stew. 

"Uhtred said we'd live in one or two weeks." He said, grabbing cups on a shelf. 

"Why wait so long?" She turned to stare at him but he just shrugged. 

"Your brother has alliances to make, to have the men to fight." He put the cups on the table as well before coming behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. "Didn't he talk to ya about it?" 

She leaned a little against his chest. "Not much. He told me of a Lord, our father never liked him, he always found him too ambitious. But Aelwulf seems to have befriended him." She explained, one of her hands running on his forearm. 

"Maybe he has changed and if he brings the men." He kissed her cheek and then her neck tenderly. "Then I don't see any bad in it."

She huffed. "I suppose I'll know tomorrow. Aelwulf wants me to meet him." She freed herself from his embrace when the smell of stew was now overwhelming the room. "Come on, it's ready." 

…

"Saegyth, let me present you Lord Wolstan." 

Aelwulf was grinning, a tended grin as he raised a hand toward Wostan. It wasn't a tall man, nor really strong, but he was standing perfectly right, his shoulder straight. Saegyth didn't have to speak with him to understand that he was confident and it only fed her already weary opinion about him. However, she kindly smiled, thinking of Finan's words and the men they needed to defeat the Danes.

"Lord Wolstan, it is a pleasure to meet you." 

"The pleasure is all mine, Lady." He grabbed her hand and brought it to his lips. She fought the need to remove her hand and just kept eye contact with him. "You are as beautiful as your brother claimed." 

"Did he?" She turned to her brother, her hand falling from his. "I hope he didn't give you too low expectations" 

Wolstan laughed. "I remember your mother's beauty, I had no doubts yours could only be equivalent." 

His charming words were accompanied by a soft gaze, detailing every inch of her face. She stared at him as well, trying to determine if she should have the same trust than Aelwulf had in him. He was a handsome man in his mid-thirties, which seemed to suit him, the way small crinkles were being formed in the corner of his eyes and between his eyebrows. At first look, nothing seemed to reveal any malevolent intentions. 

She kindly smiled and started to walk in the courtyard, the two men following her. "I remember my father saying you were an ambitious man. Did you realise those ambitions?" 

"Young man's dreams, Lady. I inherited the lands of my own father and I am satisfied enough in administering them." He explained.

"Lord Wolstan is Ealdorman of Christchurch, the lands have never looked better than since he is." Aelwulf added, his hand amicably squeezing Wolstan's shoulder.

"I am pleased to hear that." She smiled. 

They talked for about a hour, but strangely, Aelwulf kept avoiding the subject of the Danes, while she thought this would be the main subject of their meeting. Wolstan wasn't as pompous as her father described him, she supposed age and responsibilities put his feet back on the ground. She left them with a better opinion than que expected on him, though there were still questions hanging in her mind who needed answers. 

As promised, Saegyth went to visit Thyra and Beocca. Since Uhtred was Lord of Coccham, the Danish woman had been living with the priest, a place that she seemed to like, though Saegyth was slowly starting to think that it maybe wasn't only the house. She knocked at the door and Thyra opened with a warm smile. 

"Saegyth! Come in." She pushed herself from the doorway and the Lady stepped in, humming at the good smell in the house. She had quickly learned that Thyra was an excellent cooker, and coming for lunch or dinner was always a pleasure. 

"I might come to eat everyday here if it is as good as it smells once again." She smiled and the compliment made Thyra blush slightly. "You are a lucky man, Beocca." She winked at the priest as she noticed him walking out of a room. 

"I've been blessed." He replied lightly before hugging her. "Come, sit." He pulled a chair for her and his sudden serious face concerned her. 

He sat in front of her, joining his hands on the table. He nervously turned his thumbs around each other, and Saegyth frowned now remembering he had wanted to talk with her. 

"Thyra said you had something to tell me." 

"Hum? Oh, yes. I do. You have seen your brother right?" He asked hesitantly. 

"Of course." She huffed, the answer being obvious as she came here with him.

"Did he talk to you about important matters?" 

Saegyth stared at him confusedly. "About the Danes in Dorset?" Beocca shook his head. "Then what?" She asked. 

But the priest just seemed sorry, searching words he wasn't finding and she only wanted to shake his shoulders to urge him to speak his mind. Eventually, Thyra stepped forward and spoke for him. 

"There are words at the court that your brother promised your hands in marriage in exchange for an army." 

Saegyth was speechless, astonished by the woman's words. Somehow it made sense, she should have predicted it, but she couldn't believe her brother really betrayed her. He had promised to let her live freely, to not force her into another marriage. She blinked several times and turned her head to Beocca. 

"Is it true?" 

The priest nodded. "He came to ask me questions about it." He explained. 

The Lady buried her face in her hands, her jaw so clenched it was hurting. Aelwulf told her nothing, he had been plotting behind her back, not even daring to warn her. She was so angry, she stood up abruptly, almost making the chair fall. 

"I'm going to speak with him. Thank you for telling me." She thanked them, but she doubted her words sounded genuine, rage tainting them. 

She walked out of the house and started to run to the palace where her brother had his room. She was in fury as she burst into his bedroom. Aelwulf was sitting at the table, writing a letter when he looked up to her with wide eyes. He opened his mouth to ask her what she was doing here, but she spoke first. 

"When did you plan on telling me ?" She asked, her hands falling soundly flat on the table. "Before you drag me into the church, I hope." 

It took a brief instant for her brother to understand what she was talking about. "I would have told you, I just needed to make sure everything was right." He justified himself, resting the feather he was writing with on the table.

"And telling your sister you intend to marry her isn't part of the right things?" She snapped but he said nothing. She shook her head contemptuously, straightening her back and crossing her arms over her chest. "You made me a promise, Aelwulf. You said I was free to live as I want." 

"For a time!" He stood up and she now had to look up to meet his eyes. "I never intended to let you live like this all your life." 

His words were like a knife in her back, long enough to even pierce her heart. Her own brother had betrayed her, breaking his promise. He walked around the table to put his hands on her shoulders. 

"I understand your first marriage has been hard for you. I let you four years to get over it, but you still have a duty to your family." He said kindly but she couldn't hear the kindness. 

She stepped back violently, his hands dropping from her shoulders. She was so angry she thought she could explode. "You can put your duty in your arse." She stormed and her insolence irritated Aelwulf. 

"You will marry Wolstan! You will because we need his men to get rid of those fucking heathens!" He shouted. 

"Wolstan?" She repeated, incredulously. "You dared present him to me without telling me your intentions." 

And here it was again, the feeling of just being an object. She forgave her father for having treated her like that, she had always known it was her fate to marry who he wishes. But Aelwulf had promised she would be a free woman. And she couldn't help but only think of how betrayed she was feeling. Also stupid for thinking she was truly free. 

"That's the way, Saegyth. You know it." He muttered. He exhaled and added : "You will marry him next thursday." 

"In a week and half !" She gasped. Aelwulf simply nodded and she fought against the tears that threatened to fill her eyes. "I will never forgive you for that." 

He said nothing, lowering his gaze and it angered her even more. She left his room, slamming the door behind her, now walking in the corridor. At each stepped she felt like everything was falling apart. The happiness she had found was slowly burning, becoming just ashes. And she thought about Finan and froze. Tears rolled on her cheeks silently.

It was the end. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why make things simple when you can add some drama ? 🤡
> 
> Please don't kill me 🥺  
> I'm pretty excited by this part of the story and I hope you'll like it even if it isn't the happiest... 
> 
> Love y'all <3


	18. Chapter 18

Saegyth barely slept all night, too tormented by the recent events. She was still in her bed when the sun was high in the sky, overwhelming her bedroom with a soft light. But she found no courage to crawl out of bed, instead she just cowered in the furs. She had been thinking over and over again of a way to escape her fate, but none had an issue that wouldn't bring deaths. She was stuck. 

A knock at her door finally pushed her to leave her bed. She was still dressed from the eve, not finding any courage to change for the night. She opened her door and for the first time in her life, she didn't feel any happiness when she saw Finan standing in front of her.

"Good morning, mo grá." He warmly said as she let him in and she couldn't prevent the sad smile to grow on her lips. But Finan didn't notice it, kissing her once the door was closed. "Ya missed somethin' yesterday. We started an arms-wrestlin' competition, Clapa won all of them!"

"Is it supposed to surprise me?" She asked, trying to match her tone with his enthusiasm. 

He laughed. "No, but I'm a rich man now." He undid the small purse hanging at his belt and proudly tossed it before catching it again, making the silver in it cling. "I bet on Clapa all night." He proudly smirked.

Saegyth shook her head amusingly. "You won't fool them a second time." 

"Only if they're drunk enough." He winked playfully before speaking more seriously. "And ya, where did ya disappear? I thought ya'd at least come with us."

Saegyth slowly ran a hand in her hair. "I spent the afternoon with my brother. And then I was just tired." 

Finan frowned but didn't insist. "We are goin' to train outside Winchester, do ya want to join?"

She was tempted to accept but she didn't. "I think I am going to visit Lady Aelswith, she must have already heard I was here."

Finan pouted a little but he nodded. He was used to Aelswith stealing Saegyth for a few hours. "Alright, I'll see ya later, then." He leaned toward her to kiss her and she barely answered, the feel of his lips tainted by the ache of knowing maybe it would be the last time he was kissing her. 

Once he was gone, she found herself alone with her thoughts again. And a new problem arose, how could she tell Finan? Maybe it was the worst in all this, she wasn't sure she would be able to bear his reaction. Egotistically, she didn't want to tell him, because she didn't want to lose him. She was afraid of a life without him, without the love he had shown her, the tenderness of his touch and the brightness he was bringing to her life. 

She clenched her jaw, preventing tears to fall again. She would tell him. But not today.

As she said Finan, she indeed went to visit Lady Aelswith. But when she usually was happy to spend time with her, this time it made her no good. The Queen had heard of her betrothal with Lord Wolstan and was more than pleased to know that she will finally marry again.

"And to the benefit of your people. You should be proud." She said, taking her hands and squeezing them gently. 

Saegyth simply nodded and when Aelswith continued to speak, she barely listened to her. But Aelswith suddenly stopped to speak when someone walked toward them. Saegyth's body tensed as Lord Wolstan was approaching them with a pleased expression. 

"Lady Aelswith. Lady Saegyth." He saluted them and the Queen immediately said she would leave them alone. Just like months ago, when she had to talk with Medwin, she wished she could have found an excuse to stay with her. But at least the outcome of this discussion had been surprisingly good. "So your brother told you that we are betrothed." He looked at her from the corner of his eyes, his head still turned to the direction Aelswith took. 

"He did." She said, trying her best to not sound annoyed. 

"I am sorry he warned you so lately." He fully turned to her and she was surprised to see some kind of empathy in his eyes. "But maybe we should try to know each other better before our wedding." He proposed.

The words were still hard to understand and accept. She would marry him, no matter what she thought of him. "Maybe we should." She replied, resolved to her fate. 

Wolstan smirked and started to walk in the courtyard. She followed him reluctantly, her hands joined in front of her. She remained silent, not wanting to start the conversation. 

"I have heard you were a warrior." Wolstan said and she couldn't guess if he was mocking her.

"I am fighting, that is all." She explained. 

He smiled, looking down at her. "You are a fearless woman." She doubted the merit of this compliment. She had a thousand fears and they were revealing themselves one by one since yesterday. But she gave a simple lopsided smile while he was staring in front of him again. "I like it. My first wife was strong headed too." 

Saegyth raised an eyebrow curiously. "What happened to her?"

Wolstan paused an instant, a sorrowful veil covering his gaze. "She died in childbirth." 

"I'm sorry." Saegyth said quickly. 

"That's alright. She gave me a strong son. As I hope you will give me too." He continued. 

Saegyth suddenly stopped to walk and he turned around when he noticed. She swallowed as she saw an escape. Maybe if he knew, he wouldn't want to marry her. She tried to control the shake of her hands and took a deep breath. "I lost many children." 

Wolstan looked barely surprised, he even kindly smiled. "Lord Ceolfrith's ones?" 

Saegyth's breath ran short. He was the first to say her husband's name in years, she had almost forgotten how hearing it was making her queasy. Her guts squeezing in fear of seeing his ghost, woken up by the call of his name. 

"I heard he was an awful man and that none of his children lived, even with his previous wives." Wolstan was still speaking, like ignoring how Saegyth was decomposed in front of him. "In my humble opinion Lady, he was the one God was punishing." 

She stared at him incredulously, not knowing if his words were reassuring her. Somehow she wanted to believe him, that she would bear healthy children one day. But behind his words, he meant his children and she couldn't imagine it. 

He took her hand with delicacy, but she wanted to remove it anyway. Though she didn't do anything, she was frozen.

"I'll try to be a good husband, my Lady." 

He brought her hand to his lips and for the few seconds that passed, she closed her eyes, hoping that when she'd open them, it would be Finan. But when the moment came, she didn't see her lover's usual teasing smirk. Only the smile of a stranger. 

…

"The plan is to attack the Danceaster during the night, to take them by surprise." Finan explained Sihtric as they walked back into Winchester. 

The fight incoming wouldn't be an easy one and the two men had spent the five past days training. 

"Sounds like a good plan." Sihtric replied after a moment of reflection. "What about our number?"

"We're still looking forward Lord Aelwulf's alliances." Finan shrugged, walking slower now that they were reaching the stables.

Sihtric nodded. "Will Saegyth fight with us?" He asked. 

Finan found himself without an answer, he had no ideas. In the few days they had already spent in Winchester he had barely seen Saegyth, and when he did, it was for a short time. She was always at the palace, according to her with her brother or Lady Aelswith. He was finding it unusual of her, she had always tried to avoid going to the palace, sticking to her habitual visit to Lady Aelswith. She was always coming back with a hundred of gossips the Queen had shared with her. Finan found it amusing, he had met few nobles of Wessex's court, though he was pretty sure he knew more secrets than most of them. She also used to come back with names of Lords Lady Aelswith found suitable for her. He couldn't deny it was making him quite jealous to know that many men could ask for her hand without any problem. 

"Lady Aelswith spoke to me of a certain Lord Danwin today." She had said one night when he was about to fall asleep. 

He had opened one eye, revealing the sight of her mischievous smirk. She loved to tease him about it, but Finan was smart enough to play her game. "And what's so special about this one?" He had mumbled, laying on his belly, his face half buried in his cushion.

She had smiled, pretending to be already fond of the man as she was speaking. "He is mercian, he has rich lands in the North of Mercia." She had continued her description for sometime before rolling to cross her arms on his shoulder blade. "He is close to Lord Aethelred of Mercia, maybe it could be to my benefit." 

"Uhtred says he is a turd." He had yawned. 

She had pretended to think for a few seconds before sighing. "He could well be right, then I guess I'm still stuck with you." She had kissed his cheek before laying back next to him, letting him finally sleep after a small laugh.

But this time, she didn't even mention her discussions with Aelswith. He tried not to think too much about it, she was deeply involved in the battle they were planning and he supposed she was just busy and tormented.

"She didn't train once since we are here." Sihtric continued, quite worried. 

"I'll ask her." Finan promised before clasping his friend's shoulder. "I let ya to your horse's shit. I've to find Uhtred." He grinned and the young Dane rolled his eyes. 

He walked away with a laugh, hearing Sihtric complain about his task. When he reached the Two Crane's inn, Uhtred was at a table outside, Aelwulf in front of him. Over the past week, Finan had grown to appreciate Saegyth's brother. He had come to train with them once or twice and he was undoubtedly a good warrior. He remembered Saegyth telling him he used to spend hours training in their courtyard since he was a young boy. It had been worth it, even if he was tall, he was fast, not as much as Finan, but enough to destabilise him. 

Finan walked toward them and quickly the young Lord noticed him. "Irishman! Come sit with us." 

He did as he asked, sitting at the end of the table. Aelwulf handed him the cup that was waiting for him, already filled with ale. He glanced at Uhtred while taking a sip of his drink, finding him strangely dull. 

"What news Lords?" Finan asked and almost immediately the blond grinned brightly. 

"Good news. We finally have our men." 

Finan raised his eyebrows, he had almost started to fear those famous alliances would never have an outcome. "That's very good news. We should celebrate that." He raised his cup and Aelwulf knocked it friendly with his own. 

"That's a very good idea." He chuckled before turning to Uhtred. "We will leave the day after the wedding." 

"What wedding?" Finan frowned, his lips barely touching his drink. 

"Lord Wolstan and my sister's wedding." He said proudly. 

Finan almost dropped his cup, immediately looking toward Uhtred, but his expression told him he didn't misunderstand. He blinked several times, but Uhtred's sorry eyes were still here. "Your sister, Saegyth?" He asked anyway, hoping he was speaking of another of his sisters. 

"Of course! She's the only one unmarried." He continued to speak, but Finan couldn't hear a word, too astonished. 

He couldn't believe it to be true, but his heart beating hard and fast in his chest reminded him that it was real. Even if Aelwulf was speaking, Uhtred was worriedly staring at him. Finan suddenly stood up, he had to see her. 

"I- I promised Sihtric to help him with the horses." He spattered quickly before slightly bowing. "Lords." 

He walked away and once he was out of the two men's sight, he started to run. 

…

Saegyth dropped the clothes she was holding when the front door of her house opened in a loud bang. Startled, she stared at the man in the doorway with wide eyes.

“Finan! You scared me! Why didn't you knock?” She almost shouted, trying to compose herself and crouching to reunite the clothes on the floor. 

The Irishman closed the door instead of answering her. “Did you know?” He asked, out of breath.

Saegyth paused, her fingers stopping their movement as she was about to grab a dress. "Know what ?" 

Finan made a step forward. "That your brother intends to marry you to a Lord to have an army!" He exclaimed in a mixture of anger and disbelief. 

She felt her heart sunk suddenly, Finan's heavy gaze on her, waiting for an answer. She slowly looked up to him, her breath shaking as she couldn't find the words. There was no surprise on her face and Finan quickly understood as his own was now decomposed.

"You knew." He breathed, incredulous.

Saegyth stood up and started to walk toward him "Finan, I-"

"Since when ?" He cut her.

She swallowed, knowing there wouldn't be any excuses to the answer. "A few days." She said softly in hope he wouldn't hear.

"A few days ?! And ya didn't tell me!" He shouted and she bit her lips, she had never seen him angry. He passed a hand on his face, and when it dropped back to his side, his anger seemed to have vanished. Instead, he looked at her and determined, he closed the few steps separating them, taking her face between his hands. "Let's marry, we can do it in the mornin' and all this bullshit is over."

His eyes searched for hers, sparking with love and hope, but she couldn't meet them. How much she wanted to say yes, but the simple word would have tragic consequences that she couldn't bear. Her hands slowly curved around his wrist, moving his palms away.

"So they kill you and make me a widow again?" She said, trying to not succumb to Finan's deception. "I don't want to be your widow, Finan."

"But I can't let this happen!" He protested, his wrist leaving her hands abruptly. He didn't speak for an instant, breathing heavily. "I love ya." He genuinely said.

Saegyth wondered how the words that used to make her the happiest woman on earth could now hurt her so much. She wanted to reply that she loved him as well, that she doubted being able to ever love someone else like this, but it would just be selfish. Like it had been to not tell him the moment she knew Aelwulf's plan. Instead she avoided him, lied about her time spent with her brother and Aelswith when she was in fact with Wolstan, only because she was afraid to lose him.

But now she had to. She had to let him go.

"I don't have any other choices Finan." She simply said.

"And what am I supposed to do, then ?" He asked angrily but she knew it was more than just anger, he was utterly lost and desperate.

"You should leave, Finan." 

She replied quite spontaneously and his face fell right in front of her. There wasn't even anger nor sadness, he was just astonished. He stepped back, his mouth opened, searching for something to say. But he finally closed it and nodded before leaving the house, the door slamming behind him. 

Saegyth took a moment to realise what just happened. She fixed the door, holding her breath, hoping he would come back. But he didn't. She eventually exhaled, her hand covering her mouth as a sob escaped her. Her heart was tight in her chest, hurting and keeping her from breathing correctly. Tears cascaded on her cheeks and she had to rest her hand on the table to not fall, her legs suddenly incapable to support her. She slowly sat on the floor, crying of pain as if she got hit by an arrow, but the ache deeper and with nothing to soothe it. 

She remained here on the floor until nightfall, hoping vainly that Finan would come back, to take her in his loving embrace, rocking and reassuring her until she was calm again. But he didn't come back and she laid in a bed that felt emptier than never before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No I am not crying. I am N O T.
> 
> I feel so bad for hurting my babies like this...  
> I hope that beside this sad chapter you liked it anyway 🥴 
> 
> I'll see you again in an happier (or not lol) new chapter !  
> Thank yall for your comments and kudos ! Love yall very much 🥰


	19. Chapter 19

"Come on, Finan. You're not going to stay here the whole night." 

"You bet?" The Irishman dared Sihtric, pointing him with his empty cup. 

Finan had been sitting at the alehouse for too long to count, or maybe it was just the ale blurring his thoughts. All he knew is that it was night now. He tried to grab the jar but a hand pushed it away. 

"You have drunk enough for tonight." Finan turned on his bench, frowning at Uhtred but he ignored him and made a sign to Sihtric to go. 

The young man nodded, giving a last worried look to Finan before leaving them. Uhtred took his place in front of Finan.

"I'm sorry." The Half-Dane said and he just avoided his eyes, not wanting to see the pity in them.

He knew he looked pathetic right now, drinking to forget his broken heart. He played with his empty cup, tapping it against the table regularly. He was angry, he couldn't tell at whom exactly, but it was boiling inside his chest.

"I should have seen there was somethin' wrong." He started, spudding at some words. "She's been avoidin' for days." His finger drummed nervously on the wood. 

"There was nothing you could have done, Finan." Uhtred replied. 

He shook his head vigorously. "I should have asked her to marry me when ya'all told me to." He sighed, a small sob making its ways through his breath. "I've been such a fool." He buried his face in his hands, trying to hide the tears forming in the corner of his eyes. 

Finan already had a broken heart, but he had found comfort in knowing she was in a better place. Now sounded different, Saegyth was still alive, safe and sound, but she felt so far from him anyway. He couldn't even be angry at her anymore, for not telling him, all he could think was that she wasn't his to love anymore. His chest felt empty, as if someone had ripped his heart, so he tried to grab the jar to fill the void with ale. But Uhtred snapped his hand away and poured the ale on the floor. 

"I said enough." He reminded him, resting the jar on the table again. "Drowning your sorrow will be of no good." 

"What d'ya want me to do, Lord ? I love her and I've to let her marry a bloody stranger!" He shouted, his fist hitting the table furiously. 

Uhtred leaned over the table and grabbed Finan's jaw, forcing him to look at him and stay calm. "Don't make things harder than they already are for her." 

Finan chewed his inner cheek, Uhtred was right, Saegyth was the one being forced into another unwanted marriage and it was making him hate Aelwulf. He knew more than anyone how her first marriage had ruined her and she was still bearing some scars of it. He felt suddenly so weak because he could do nothing to save her from it. 

Uhtred's grip softened as new tears were glittering under his tired eyes. He gave him a small compassionate smile and stood up. 

"Come, let's find your bed." He said, walking behind Finan and pulling him up like a child. 

He grabbed the Irishman's shoulder, pushing him inside the alehouse gently. They walked upstairs to the bedrooms, Finan miraculously succeeded to climb the stairs without stumbling. Uhtred finally let him drop on his bed.

"Get some sleep." He told him and Finan wanted to protest that he wasn't a child, but all his thoughts and emotions were fighting in his mind and he simply fell back on the mattress. 

When he heard the door closing behind Uhtred, he couldn't help the sob to make its way through his lips. He felt utterly lost in the middle of the sea. And as he drifted between sleep and consciousness, his thoughts still blurred by the ale, he wondered if it hadn't all been just a dream and Sverri had just thrown him overboard to finally meet the release of death.

…

Saegyth was walking in the courtyard, Lord Wolstan at her side. He had been talking for sometime now, but she could barely hear him, only giving him regular nods. She couldn't help but keep thinking about last night, fighting tears to submerge her still swollen and red eyes. She wondered if Wolstan noticed how pitiful she looked, or maybe he did and simply preferred to say nothing. Over the hours they had spent together, she had discovered he was a rather kind man. But he had nothing of Finan's tenderness when holding her hand. Even though his hands weren't as scarred and calloused than the Irishman's, she was finding them ugly. 

In fact, there was an infinite list of things that Wolstan hadn't in comparison to Finan, and it only saddened her more, no matter how many things she could dislike about him, he would be her husband anyway.

"Christchurch is very much like Dorset, you will like it I am sure." He smiled, almost fondly as he seemed to remember the landscapes of his lands.

"I have no doubt I will." She replied with as much enthusiasm she was able to. 

Wolstan opened his mouth to continue his description of Christchurch, but a man approaching stopped him. Saegyth felt relieved to recognise Uhtred walking in their direction. 

"Lord Wolstan, Lady Saegyth, my congratulations for your betrothal." The Half-Dane smiled, but she knew it wasn't genuine, his smile visibly forced. "May I steal you Lady Saegyth for a few minutes."

"Of course, I'll see you later, my Lady." Wolstan bowed slightly and left them on their own. 

They walked silently in the small alleys before Uhtred finally dared to speak. "I'm sorry."

"Thank you." She whispered, looking down, somehow disappointed by his sentence, but there wasn't much to say anyway. "How is Finan ?" She asked softly. 

Uhtred rubbed the back of his neck. "Bad, but he'll get better." Saegyth nodded, though she knew he was softening the edges, and making what was supposed to reassure her, worrying her even more.

They continued in silence again, her arms tightly wrapped around her chest. Uhtred's hand curved on her shoulder, forcing her to slow down her pace and finally stop to face him. 

"Saegyth, you can escape that. I'll free Finan from his oath and you both can leave Wessex." 

She rested her hands on his, squeezing it gently. She was touched by his proposition, tempted to accept it, but she couldn't impose Finan another runaway knowing how badly finished the last time he tried. She wouldn't be the cause of his death or worse, so she shook her head. 

"I can't. It would cost too many peoples' lives, Finan's first." 

Uhtred nodded slowly, his fingers tightening around her shoulder before letting his hand fall back to his side. "You're a strong woman, Saegyth. You'll get through this." 

She just smiled at him, mostly because she didn't want to start telling how she doubted his words, too scared to fall apart again. 

"Will you come? At the ceremony." She asked him. Uhtred would be one of her only true friends able to come and she felt like his presence could bring her a little more courage.

He put his hands at each side of her face, his thumbs rubbing her cheeks tenderly. "If you want, I will." 

"Thank you, Uhtred." She couldn't help the tear to roll down her face, but he wiped it before kissing her forehead. 

He then pulled her into his arms and when she had wished to remain strong, at least in public, she couldn't deny the comfort she found in his embrace. She wrapped her arms around his waist, crying silently on his shoulder. 

The days passed too quickly, each one bringing her closer to what was more and more sounding like a cage. Some of her friends came to see her, she was even surprised to see Sihtric and Clapa at his door one morning. It made her realise it wasn't only a marriage, but also goodbyes. And she cried again in her two friends' arms for they had become a family to her. Thyra was regularly here as well, trying to occupy her mind, but it was hard when she was herself full of anger regarding this marriage, she had even begged Beocca to find a reason to annul it, but the priest found nothing. Seeing her friends move Heaven and Earth to find a solution to bring her out of misery warmed her heart. But there was nothing to do. 

And one morning, she found herself in a wedding dress. The piece was beautiful, a smooth off-white fabric with fine broderies here and there. Even though she wanted to tear it apart. When the servant who brought it to her the eve had left her house, she had furiously thrown a pottery on the wall, million pieces falling on the floor. She was tired, constantly drifting between sadness, anger and despair. She felt alone, despite all the people who came to comfort her and the only person who could understand her and live through the same feelings was Finan. 

But he never came, not even for goodbyes. She was missing him more than she hoped she would. Sometimes, her fingers would brush her lips, as if to reignite the feel of his lips, before it was erased by Wolstan's. 

She asked everyone how he was, and each time she had the same answer that Uhtred's one a few days ago. She hoped they were right, Finan deserved better than to live only in his sorrow. Finan had the most beautiful smile she had ever seen in her life, contagious and endearing, and she wanted him to continue to smile, if not for her anymore, for others.

There weren't many people in the church when she stepped in at her brother's arm, but as promised there was Uhtred, standing in the alley. Aelswith was also here, visibly cheerful to finally see her in a wedding gown. And to her surprise, she recognized Lord Medwin, one of the last persons she expected to see here. She couldn't say if he was a comforting presence or one reminding her even more that it was the second time she was walking down this alley unwillingly. Though she was sure he meant no harm by coming.

Her eyes fell then on Wolstan, and her hand tightened unintentionally around Aelwulf's arm. The Lord was wearing a blue-grey shirt with an ornamented neckline, he also shaved, making him look younger than he was.

"It will be fine." Aelwulf whispered in her ear, his hand covering hers. 

She didn't answer, still mad at him and she doubted it would fade until a long time. And in all honesty, if they weren't in a church with people around, she would have gladly slapped him for saying such things. How could it ever be fine when he forced her to marry Wolstan? 

She let go of his arm and stopped next to Wolstan, in front of the altar. She barely heard the priest's words, her eyes focused on the ribbons he was wrapping around their joined hands, assimilating much more to chains. 

"Now that you're bound Wolstan and Saegyth, I can declare you man and wife." 

Saegyth's breath stopped for a second, her head turning to her now husband who was leaning down to her. His lips touched her too quickly, not letting her imagine Finan's tender kisses one last time. He then smiled at her and she timidly gave it back, her eyes looking aside.

When they finally walked out of the church, a voice she feared she wouldn't hear anymore caught her attention. Finan was debating with Clapa, who wasn't struggling much to keep the Irishman away from the small crowd of people attending the wedding. He looked miserable, his hair looking more like a bird's nest, his eyes underlined by black marks and his cheeks and nose reddened by the ale. 

When their gazes met, they both froze, Finan stopping to fight against Clapa while Sihtric was still holding his shoulders firmly. His mouth moved in what she supposed was her name, his deep brown eyes glittering due to the alcohol, or maybe it was tears. They quietly stared at each other, her heart beating hard in her chest, for what seemed a too short time as Wolstan's hand on her shoulder brought her back to reality. 

It's only at nightfall that she found herself alone with Wolstan, in his bedroom. The whole dinner she had tried to not think about this moment. As she undid the laces of her dress, she could feel his heavy stare on her, making her feel like a rabbit at the mercy of a wolf. When her dress fell on the floor, only her underdress covering her, she heard him walk behind her. His breath on her shoulder as he put her hair to the side, eager to discover her skin, made hers start to shake. 

"You're a beautiful woman." He whispered, his fingers following the line of her neck. She pinched her lips, tilting her head to avoid the moment they would reach her jaw. "You know I wouldn't hurt you." 

"I know." She breathed.

But he could try as much as he wanted, he would hurt her in any case, because he wasn't Finan, and would never be.

…

Finan woke up with an awful headache, as many mornings during the past days. He rubbed his eyes, scrunching his nose as they stinged after a too short night. He had no will to get up, so he just hid himself under the furs to not be annoyed by the sunlight. However it wasn't the sun who prevented him from falling asleep again, but a strong knock against the door. Someone growled in the bedroom and Finan curiously looked, discovering Sihtric, half asleep against his door. 

He didn't remember the young Dane saying he would stay for the night. To be fair, he didn't remember much of the evening, only Saegyth in her beautiful dress when she had stepped out of the church, her blond hair tied in a hundred braids. He loved it, knowing after he would have the pleasure to undo them one by one, taking the occasion to kiss her shoulders and neck, until her hair was freely falling in her back, curls and waves mixing in a cascade of gold. He clenched his jaw, this time he wasn't the one doing it. 

He hid back under the covers but a second knock made Sihtric stand up and open the door. 

"Lord Uhtred said we have to go." Said Clapa's strong voice. 

There was silence for a moment until Sihtric's light steps approached his bed. "I know you're awake Finan, we have to go." 

Finan reluctantly pushed the furs aside and sat with a long sigh. His friend tossed him the pieces of his leather armor and he slowly put them. He was split, he wanted to leave Winchester and forget everything that happened in the past week, but it also meant forgetting Saegyth and he'd rather keep living with the pain than letting all memories of her behind. 

The three warriors left the alehouse to prepare their mounts. As Finan tightened the girth of the saddle, he noticed Aelwulf and Wolstan talking, both visibly jovial. The two men now had the talent to anger him, even more Aelwulf for whom he would fight for in a few days. He turned to Uhtred, next to him.

"Is the bastard comin' with us?" He grumbled and Uhtred raised an eyebrow. 

"Which one?" He replied. 

Another day, Finan would have grinned at his friend, happy that he was sharing the same opinion on them. "Wolstan." He said with disgust. 

Uhtred shook his head, patting his horse's shoulder. "No, he'll join us in a few days at Dorchester, with his men." 

Finan nodded, satisfied to not have to travel with at least one of them. After a last check, he slid his foot in the stirrup and lifted himself on the horse. With the little high he gained, his eyes fell on Saegyth. He didn't expect her to be here, and he had to blink several times to be sure it was her in the crowd. He swallowed, noticing how her posture had changed, her shoulders were falling and her arms tightly wrapped around her chest. His jaw clenched and he couldn't help but wonder what he had done to her. 

She was looking at him as well, this time there was not the surprise in her eyes from seeing in which state he was. He could read the sorrow in her blue pupils and he held the reins so firmly that his knuckles whitened. Suddenly, a shy smile pulled at her lips before moving into words he couldn't hear, but the way her eyes were sparking like they only did when she was looking at him, told him enough of their meaning. 

"We march !" 

Aelwulf shouted command made him look away for a brief moment, and when he looked back, Saegyth had disappeared. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing those chapters while listening to Alone in the Dark by Will Cookson wasn't my best idea.
> 
> I don't know what to say beside I hope you didn't expect me really making her marry Wolstan lmaoo. I feel such a horrible person, but yall writer knows the feeling of making characters suffer and you can't blame me for doing it !!
> 
> Thank you for still reading it despite how sad it's turning, but don't lose hope ;)
> 
> Love yall !! 💕


	20. Chapter 20

“Careful, Lady, it’s hot.”

Saegyth let her feet sink in the water, not listening to the servant’s warning. She clenched her fists, whistling at the warmth of the water, but she immersed herself anyway, wanting to clean her skin as quickly as possible. She took the cloth imbibed with soap and started to run in it over her body, hoping it would wash away the feel of Wolstan’s hands on her. But it was as if his palms had burned her, marking her for eternity. Her hands started to shake, and she rubbed her skin until it was red. 

“Lady, you’re going to hurt yourself.” The young servant said, her hand grabbing Saegyth’s one and stopping her.

Saegyth met the servant’s worried look, but non less kind, and eased a little. “Sorry, I was in my thoughts.” 

The brunette smiled and cautiously took the cloth from her hands. She moved behind Saegyth, pushing her hair to the side to wash her back. The Lady closed her eyes, trying to focus on the feel of the servant's delicate fingers. “You have beautiful hair, Lady.”

“Thank you.” Saegyth said softly, her index drawing circles on the surface. “What’s your name?” She asked her, turning slightly to better see her.

The servant might be three year or two older than Saegyth, her face covered with freckles, as if God had drawn the map of stars on her skin. “Leofwynn.”

Saegyth nodded, looking in front of her again. “For how long have you been serving Lord Wolstan?”

“I served his first wife, I was barely a woman.” She explained, cleaning her shoulders.

“How was she?” 

Leofwynn searched her words for a moment. “Bright and with a huge heart.” She described her fondly. “She appreciated Lord Wolstan.”

Saegyth frowned. “Didn’t she love him?” Wolstan had spoken to her of his late wife a few times, and they sounded like a loving couple. “Lord Wolstan seemed to love her.”

“Lord Wolstan loves many women, Lady. He’ll always find a field with greener grass somewhere else.” Saegyth grimaced at the metaphor and Leofwynn laughed lightly.

The servant moved to wash her arms and Seagyth rested her head against the edge of the bathtub. Her mind, working on its own will, brought back the memory of Finan’s grin when she had once proposed to him to join her in her bath. It had been three days since the men had left for Dorset. A day since she had last seen him, on his horse near the gates. She wondered if it had been a good idea, if it hadn’t made her miss him even more. But she was sure she would have regretted it otherwise. 

“Are all men like this? Loving another woman as soon as the other is gone or has wearied them?” 

The question was more turned on her situation with Finan than with Wolstan. She wished Finan to have a happy life, maybe find another woman who wouldn’t have to leave him like she did, but she also couldn’t help but wish that he wouldn’t forget her. 

“Not all.”

Saegyth relished her answer, her eyes closed again, she dreamed of a world where Finan and she had never been separated, she found it comforting. But her contemplation ran short by the sound of the door opening. Leofwynn immediately stood up to welcome Wolstan while Saegyth wrapped her arms around her chest, covering what the water wasn’t. She wanted to shout at him that a knock would have been the least he could do, but his hungry eyes petrified her. 

“Leave us, I want to talk with my wife.”

The servant bowed and immediately left the room. Once the door was closed, he walked toward the bathtub, crouching to be at Saegyth’s eyes level. His mouth was curved in an appreciative smile. She hated when he was looking at her like this, as if she was just a reward. She clenched her jaw when his fingers drew the line of her lips. 

“There’s no better sight than a woman in a bath.” He whispered and she swallowed, her arms tightening around her. 

“What did you want to talk about, husband?” She tried to distract him, but she was also curious to know the real reason he was here. 

Wolstan sighed, his hand dropping to the edge of the bathtub. “I will leave in two days, to join your brother with my men. I would like you to remain here in Winchester. It’s safer for you, and the child you could already be carrying.”

Saegyth’s breath stopped when he dipped his hand in the water to rest it on her stomach. The simple idea terrified her, and she grabbed his wrist, his touch even more unbearable since the wedding night. "It's too soon to know." 

"Of course." He said, his wet hand cupping the side of her face. "We are dining with the King, tonight. I'll join you here before we go." 

She nodded and he left her, and Saegyth felt like she could finally breathe again.

…

Saegyth looked at her reflection in the small basin in the courtyard, small waves created by the fishes twisting her features. Her hand slid on her belly, her fingers curling and gripping the fabric. She thought of Wolstan’s words earlier. How much she hoped there wasn't a child already growing there, she already lost Finan, she wasn’t sure she could bear another loss so soon. But she hadn't any of Gisela's decoction to prevent it. At least, maybe it would keep Wolstan from touching her. 

Four nights had passed since the wedding night, and she could still feel him, his breath and hands, even after a few baths. Despite the fact he indeed, as promised, didn't willingly hurt her, there was nothing of the tenderness and attention of her love-making with Finan. Oh the word never had so much sense. 

"Lady Saegyth." 

Saegyth jumped at Medwin's hoarse voice. Her hands now on her chest, she took a deep breath, searching her composure again. 

"Lord Medwin, you scared me." She breathed and he uncomfortably rubbed his hands together. 

"I am sorry, it wasn't my intention."

"That's alright." She kindly smiled at him, and sat on the stone surrounding the basin. "I didn't expect to see you at the church." She confessed, dusting the skirt of her dress.

"And I didn't expect you to willingly walk to the altar." She huffed at this, his tone was still unemotional but she appreciated the attempt of a joke. She tapped the place next to her, inciting him to sit. "I thought you were a free woman." He continued, sitting. 

"Not as free as I thought." She replied, defeatist. 

"I am sorry." Medwin said after a moment.

Saegyth huffed again, looking up to the blue sky, tired of hearing those three words. "People receive cheerful congratulations for their wedding, but I seem to receive only pity."

The silence took away her words, and she closed her eyes.

“Have you heard he had a first wife?” He said.

“He told me.” She said, her eyes still closed. “She died in childbirth.”

“It was her third child.” He said looking away.

“‘Their’.” She corrected him but Medwin shook his head. 

“People say he is a bastard.” 

Saegyth leaned forward a little, hoping to catch Medwin’s gaze, but it seemed lost. He was still rubbing his hands together, making her think he knew way more than those rumors. “Something tells me that you are more involved than what you pretend to be.” She slowly said, narrowing her eyes.

Medwin’s eyes finally saw her, deprived of any emotion, though after a moment she felt a melancholy hiding behind them. “Everyone knew Lord Wolstan got tired of his wife. That’s why the boy's legitimacy is questioned.”

“But he sounded like he loves the boy. Why would he if he isn’t his?” She asked, confused between Medwin’s story and her discussions with her husband. 

“There’s no pride in admitting your wife cheated on you.” He replied. “And Lady Aengifu was loved by everyone, publicly accusing her of sleeping with another would have incurred the wrath of a lot.”

Saegyth straightened her back as things started to make more sense, especially Wolstan’s insistence on having a child. A wedding night son would assure him the end of the doubts on the legitimacy of his heir. But what would happen to the boy if she gave him a son? Would he abandon him, maybe in a monastery? She nervously clenched her fists, her nails digging the skin of her palm, she didn’t like learning so much of her new husband in so little time. 

“You should be careful, Lady. He is an ambitious man.” Medwin warned her, speaking more softly. 

“My father already said the same, but my brother blindly trusts him. He promised him warriors in exchange for my hand.” She explained to him and he tilted head, skeptical.

“How many?”

“I heard two hundreds warriors. To take a city.” She said, but his expression started to worry her. 

“All of them from Christchurch? These are small lands, Lady.” He leaned slightly toward her, his eyes darkening. “They can’t all be well formed warriors.”

Saegyth studied him for a moment, trying to read what he implied. If the warriors he promised were simple men, it would mean Wolstan wished the Danes to win the battle. Her father had mentioned his will to have more lands, to have greater titles. Saegyth was a powerful Lord’s daughter, marrying her obviously improved his position, but he was seeking for more. 

“My brother’s sons are too young to rule if he dies, do you think he could claim a right to the regency?” She asked, but not daring to believe it was his actual plan. 

Medwin nodded slightly. “Your sisters both married mercian lords with no interests in your brother’s lands.” He didn’t reply clearly, though it was enough to understand that her supposition was right. 

She sighed, her breath shaking and her hands running over her face. She suddenly felt like she could trust no one anymore. Her brother betrayed her, and Wolstan would betray Aelwulf. She turned to Medwin, her hands fisting the fabric of her skirt. “Why are you telling me all of this?” 

He said nothing for a moment, and then, surprisingly, his hand came to cover hers. She eased her grip a little as he squeezed her fingers. “I didn’t save you from my brother. I won’t make the mistake twice.”

...

Saegyth thought of her discussion with Wolstan the whole dinner. If before his way to constantly try to touch her made her uncomfortable, now it was disgusting her. Though she smiled, letting him keep his hand on hers. She tried to focus on Aelswith, who was talking of her own daughter’s marriage, Aethelflead blushing and looking away when her mother mentioned their meeting soon enough. Saegyth tried to look happy for the princess, but twice she had been tricked by an arranged marriage. She could only hope Aethelflead would be part of the lucky ones. 

Once they were back in the privacy of their bedroom, she waited for him to fall asleep. She remained curled on her side of the bed, eyes wide open, trying to think of what she should do to prove his betrayal instead of the way he just touched her, her thighs squeezed tight together. When she heard his snores beside her, she carefully left the bed. She walked toward the desk, her eyes used to the darkness only softened by the moon outside. She had no idea what she was searching, but a few letters caught her attention. Some had their seal broken, others were written but not sealed yet. With a small glance to Wolstan, still deeply asleep, she opened the first one. She read, her eyes narrowed to compensate for the lack of light. 

Most of the letters were futile, discussion with other Lords, and she was thinking of giving up, persuaded that she'd find nothing. But one letter, the only one in fact, was resting away from the others, newly sealed. She stared at it for a moment, judging the risk she would take in opening it, but something in her was shouting that she would find answers in it. So she lit the candle under the can of wax, and grabbed the letter. She took off the seal, careful not to torn the paper, and unfolded it near the candle to better see. 

Her teeth pulled at her bottom lips as she read, a feeling of relief but also horror making her take a sharp breath. Her instinct was right, here was the proof of Wolstan’s treason, and even more. The letter was a direct order to the commander of his army to bring his men to Danceaster, the city that the Danes had taken. Though, during his discussion with her brother, he promised to bring them to Dorchester first. He didn’t only intend to provide a false army to Aelwulf, but also to help the Danes with his real warriors, which she hoped were a small amount.

Wolstan shifted in their bed and she immediately blew the candle. She didn’t move for a moment, scared to make a noise. But he noticed the emptiness to her side of the bed, he abruptly sat up and their eyes met in the darkness. A thrill ran along her spine and her hand grabbed the edge of the desk.

“What are you doing?” He asked, walking quickly toward her. Saegyth swallowed and stood up, searching for an excuse. But she was too long and he fisted her hair, pushing her head down the desk, her cheek pressed against the wood. “What are you doing?!” He barked, making her gasp as he gripped her hair tighter. 

Her whole body was shaking, but she managed to speak. “I am sorry, Lord.” He didn’t listen to her, his eyes scrutinizing all the unfolded letters on the desk. 

They suddenly widened when he noticed the one she just unsealed. His hand left her hair to grab her shoulder and this time forced her to sit on the chair. “What have you read?” He pointed at the letter and she alternatively looked at his furious face and his finger. 

“Nothing.” She lied. 

She squealed when his hand grabbed her jaw, his fingers digging her cheeks and forcing her to look at him. He had nothing of the gentleman he pretended to be anymore, his expression looking much more to a mad dog’s one.

“Don’t lie.” He muttered.

Saegyth swallowed and tried to slow her breath. “Alright.” She said softly. “I heard you had many mistresses. I wanted to know if you were faithful to me.” Wolstan said nothing and for a moment she feared he didn’t believe her lie. But slowly, he removed his hand, still studying her. “But now I know it was a mistake to believe rumors.” She added, standing up. She stepped forward, and he sat on the desk. “I am sorry.” She whispered trying to sound genuine.

The anger seemed to leave his body, his thumb brushing her cheek. “Why do you care?”

“Because you are my husband.” Her own words made her sick, but she didn’t flinch, her palm travelling on his bare chest. “And I am your wife.” She leaned so her lips were hovering over his, but not enough to let him kiss her. “We promised fidelity to one another.”

“We did.” He grinned. 

“Will you forgive me?” She asked, moving away. “For the son that I will give you.” She added, hoping it would be enough to convince him. 

Fortunately, it did, his face lighting with joy and his hand grazed over her stomach absently. “For our son.”

…

“What happened to you, Lady!” Leofwynn exclaimed when she noticed the marks on Saegyth’s jaw. 

Her fingers brushed her bruised skin and the Lady grimaced at the ache it occured. “It’s nothing.” She replied, sitting on the bed.

She rubbed her eyes, exhausted after a sleepless night. She had been thinking all night on how she would prevent Wolstan from executing his plan. She eventually found a solution, but she feared it had more chances to fail than be successful, but she had no other choices.

“Leofwynn, do you know Lord Wolstan’s messenger?” 

“Trumwine?” She asked, frowning. “He is a tough man, he’s been serving Lord Wolstan for years now.” Saegyth nodded and brought her joined hands to her mouth, her elbows against her thighs. “Why are you asking?”

“Did you see him recently?” Saegyth questioned her, ignoring her.

“Yes, earlier. I saw Lord Wolstan giving him a letter.” Saegyth looked up to the servant, it must be the letter for the commander, she had noticed it had disappeared this morning. 

“When is he leaving?” 

Leofwynn shrugged. “He drank all night, he must be sleeping right now, before leaving in the afternoon. That’s what he always does.”

The lady nodded, satisfied with her answer, it was giving her enough time to execute her own plan. She stood up and walked to the deck. She took a paper and dipped the point of a feather in the ink. She felt Leofwynn's curious eyes on her as she started to write a false letter. Once she was done, she warmed some wax and turned her attention back to the servant. 

“Where does Trumwine sleep?”

“In the Black Horse’s inn.” She answered, observing Saegyth pouring wax on the folded letter and then pressing her husband’s seal. “Lady, what are you doing?”

Saegyth leaned back in the chair, exhaling tiredly. “I am saving my brother’s arse.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn we are at the 20th chapter ! That's so crazy ! I can't believe we've been so far ahah  
> Also thank you sooo much we've reached the 2K hits ! It made me so happy ! Thank you so much !!
> 
> Back to this chapter! Well, Wolstan revealed his true self, and i honestly didn't intend to add so much violence when i planned the plot. But well, while writting i realized it was kinda necessary :(( He is a weird character, i agree on that lmaoo. But he is blinded by his ambition...   
> And can i say that i love Medwin, alright he is weird too, but i love him sksks
> 
> I hope you liked this chapter ! Thank you again for reading and commenting, it's always a pleasure to read your comments <3


	21. Chapter 21

“So you want me to exchange the letter with this one?” Medwin tapped the letter he was holding with a finger, staring at Saegyth as she nodded. “What is written in the original one?”

She crossed her arms, leaning against the wall behind her. They were both standing in the darkness of an alcove of the courtyard. It was raining and apart from them, no one had dared to walk outside. Saegyth had been relieved to see him approaching after she had sent Leofwynn to ask him to join her here. 

“He asked the commander of his real army to join Danceaster, when he was supposed to join my brother at Dorchester.” She explained.

Medwin frowned, thinking for a few seconds. “So he not only plans on betraying your brother, but also helping the Danes?” He summarized and then shook his head. “That’s nonsense, it would also mean betraying Wessex.”

“That’s because we know a part of the truth.” She replied. She pushed herself from the wall when he looked at her dubiously. “But from an external point of view, his plan is perfect. He helps the Danes by sending his own men, like this, the Danes can leave Danceaster, still protected. They will then ride North to confront my brother who won’t have any other choices than answer to the threat. Then, Wolstan will join with his false army, but only when the battle will reach his end, with both armies already tired.” She couldn’t help the thrill to run along her spine as she imagined the slaughter that would be such a battle, and knowing her friends and family would be a part of it was horrifying her even more. 

“And choose your brother's side?”

“I guess. He’ll have tricked both sides like this.” She paused for a moment, satisfied to see that Medwin seemed to agree with her supposition. “One of his men must be in charge of killing my brother during the battle.”

Medwin nodded. “From an external point of view, it sounds like a perfect plan. What did you write in this letter?”

“To wait a few more days. I doubt the commander would believe a letter saying them to not move from their position. It will just give us more time.” She shrugged, her gaze turning to the heavy rain. 

“Why not just steal the letter and reveal everything to the king?” He asked, which was a fair question. 

“You said it yourself, he is an ambitious man. He must have a plan to innocent himself in case someone finds out. We have to wait until he is gone, then we will warn the King and ask for his army to help my brother and capture Wolstan.”

Medwin remained silent, then pointed at his own cheek. “Did he do that to you?” Her fingers grazed over her slightly swollen cheek. “Are you sure he won’t suspect anything?” He added, guessing what must have happened last night. 

Saegyth swallowed and looked at the rain again, the discovery of her husband’s betrayal was the only reason she hadn’t already given up. She was feeling like her own body wasn’t hers anymore. But this fight was the only thing that was keeping her linked to it. “I did what I must to erase any suspicion.” She said coldly and Medwin gently squeezed her shoulder. 

She crossed his gaze, and surprisingly, she found pride in his eyes. “You’re the strongest woman I’ve ever known.” 

“I heard it so much time.” She huffed sadly.

“Because it is true.” He insisted and Saegyth could only smile at him. 

She had never been closed to Medwin, she had never known the man hiding behind his usual stoic expression, but right now, as she was feeling all alone, she was glad to have found a friend in him. 

“I am going to exchange the letters, keep a low profile until he is gone.”

Keeping a low profile was easier than she expected, Wolstan being constantly occupied by his departure. Saegyth spent the day with Leofwynn, she had taken the risk to trust the servant and until now she wasn’t regretting it so far. The woman hadn’t all the cards in hand to understand the situation, but she decided to trust Saegyth as well. 

“He hurt you, Lady, he doesn’t deserve my loyalty.” She declared as she gently put ointment on her cheek. “And he doesn’t deserve you as well.”

Saegyth smiled and the servant gave her back, wiping her fingers on a cloth. “Thank you Leofwynn.”

When nightfall, she felt relieved that Wolstan only sought sleep. Though she hardly fell asleep, she had no news of Medwin and she wondered if he had succeeded to take the letter. If he had, tomorrow, they’d have to meet the King, otherwise, she doubted being able to convince Alfred of her husband’s betrayal. 

…

“To our future victory!”

Aelwulf raised his cup, a broad smile pulling at his lips. Finan lazily imitated the other guests’ around the Lord of Dorset’s table. They arrived at Dorchester in the morning, and Aelwulf had insisted on Uhtred and his men dining with him, his wife and the commanders of his own army and guard. Of course, Finan had to join, now sitting at Uhtred’s left, much to his dismay. He would rather have spent the night in one of the alehouses of the city. 

Dorchester was pretty much like Saegyth had described it to him. It was smaller than Winchester, but the same constant agitation seemed to live in the streets of the city. Another day, maybe, he would have loved visiting it, but he was too focused on his growing anger about Aelwulf, and Wolstan, that God preserved Finan from his presence. 

“And to Lord Wolstan and my sister, may their marriage be as happy as mine.” He continued, grabbing his wife’s hand and kissing the back of it.

This time, Finan didn’t raise his cup, instead his fingers drummed nervously on the table while his fist was tightly closed under it. He kept his eyes on the content of his plate, feeling his friends' worried glares, he knew Aelwulf wouldn't unnoticed the anger burning behind his pupils. 

Finan didn't expect to hate someone again after finding freedom, but right now he did. Saegyth had talked so much to him about her brother, her dear brother that had always been here for her when she was little and gave her the freedom to live as she wished once she had become a widow. Strangely, Finan felt as betrayed as her, by a man he barely knew.

The best he could do, for everyone's sake, was to avoid Aelwulf as much as he could, but being now commander of Uhtred's household obviously pushed him to be around him. As the following morning, when he was supervising the training of the few warriors Uhtred took with him. The young Lord was standing in the courtyard while Finan was fighting against Sihtric. The Dane tried to hit him to the shoulder with his axe in a fast and large move, but Finan crouched and when he stood again, Sihtric had slightly spinned. He grabbed his free arm and folded it behind his friends back before pressing the dull blade of his sword under his throat. 

"You're fast Irishman!" Aelwulf exclaimed from where he was still standing. 

Finan let go of Sihtric who immediately rubbed his wrist. "Be fast or die." He replied, dusting his trousers. 

The lord stepped toward them, his own training sword in hand. "My sister had written to me about your skill, she told me you were the best teacher she could ever have."

Finan couldn't help the small smile to grow on his face. He had spent hours teaching her moves and she had never given up even when he feared asking too much of her. "Ya're sister is a good trainee." 

Aelwulf's smile twitched slightly and he raised the point of his sword toward Finan's chest. "Will you fight me, Irishman?"

Finan looked from his sword to face and back again, judging if it was a good idea. From the corner of his eyes, he could see Sihtric's disapproval glare, but he ignored him, smirking defiantly to Saegyth's brother. "Of course." 

The fight obviously caught the attention of the warriors and guards in the yard, and slowly, a small circle was built around the two fighters. Finan made his sword twirl, studying Aelwulf's posture, he was taller and probably stronger than him, and he judged that the best would be to destabilize him. If he could succeed to find an opening and make him lose his balance, he would just have to strike hard and fast to disarm him. The Lord was the first to stop their round, his sword attempting to touch Finan to the ribs. He stepped back, the point cutting the air just in front of him. 

But Aelwulf was quicker than he expected, he made one step forward and the blade drew another line toward Finan. He blocked it, the strength of the blow making him stumble back. When he recovered, the golden boy was smirking widely, proud of his move. Finan gritted his teeth, if he had decided to push aside his resentment during this fight, Aelwulf's devious gaze just fanned the embers. 

He tightened his grip on the handle of his sword, and this time he was prepared when Aelwulf attacked him. That’s how most part of this fight went, Aelwulf attacking, and Finan avoiding or blocking each blow. It was an exhausting rhythm to hold, but at each of the Lord’s parades, he could see the opening he was seeking much clearer. His opponent was tiring as well, but he could see he was getting too confident, increasing the growing imprecision of his movement. And finally Finan saw it, the perfect moment. The blade drew a line down to his shoulder, but this time he didn’t step back. Finan crouched and moved forward. Disturbed, Aelwulf slowed his movement, giving him the occasion to block his sword with his own, the point buried in the ground. The tall man was now bending forward and Finan kicked his thigh with his foot, his front leg slipping on the floor. In a second, Aelwulf was lying in the dust, out of breath and the Irishman’s sword under his chin. 

Finan couldn’t help but smirk, this little fight wouldn’t be enough to ease his hatred toward him, but the humiliation of losing a fight in front of his men would be enough for the day. Aelwulf laughed heartily as he sat up once Finan had removed his sword.

“You really are quite a fighter, Irishman.” He said, standing up. “I heard Irish were vicious in combat, I see it’s true.” He grinned, patting amicably Finan’s shoulder while the small crowd around them was fading. He then slightly bowed his head to Finan’s ear. “I have come to notice you were fond of my sister, as much as she sounded to be of you.” He whispered and Finan’s blood ran cold. “I appreciate that you didn’t interfere in how the things had to go.”

Finan shot him a glare, a mix of a threat and surprise, but Aelwulf didn’t pay any attention to it, already walking away. He thought the Lord couldn’t make his case worse, but how naive he was. Finan used to be noble, he knew the way it was, and how feelings had never been part of the game. 

...

Saegyth had never felt more relieved than when she saw Wolstan leaving Winchester with his bunch of men. As she watched him go, her fingers found instinctively the ribbon Finan had offered her months ago around her wrist. She found it comforting to still have a part of him with her, giving her more courage and hope to find him again if everything was going well. But now, she had to push away the thoughts of their reunion.

She turned her head to Leofwynn who just arrived, a broad smile on her face. “Lord Medwin succeeded.” 

Saegyth took a deep breath, the first part was a success. Now, she needed a meeting with the King. She thanked the servant and took the direction to Father Beocca’s house. After knocking at the door, it opened quickly and immediately she got captured by Thyra’s arms, in a tight embrace. She hugged her back, happy to see her friend again. 

“Are you alright?” The Dane asked, moving away and taking an horrified expression to the mark on her face.

“I am.” She said, not wanting to lose time on foretelling her misery, it would be too hard and for the moment she had to remain strong. “Is Beocca here?”

Thyra shook her head. “But he should arrive soon.”

And indeed, he stepped in the small house only a few minutes later, looking surprised by Saegyth’s presence. He welcomed her but she noticed he was uncomfortable, as he was expecting something. She decided to ignore it. “Father, I need your help.”

Beocca sat at the table of his house with a long sad sigh. “Saegyth, if you’re asking me to find a way to end your marriage, I am sorry but there’s none.” He apologetically said.

Even if it wasn’t the reason for her presence, she couldn’t help but feel hurt by the answer. “I’m not here for that. I need to have a meeting with the King.”

For a brief moment, the only answer she got was two confused glare. “What for?” Beocca asked, his brows furrowed. 

“My beloved husband plans to betray my brother.” She said, crossing her arms over her chest. 

The priest judged her for a moment, probably wondering if she was telling the truth and it almost hurt her that he could possibly doubt her. He narrowed his eyes and stood from his chair. “Do you have proof of it?”

She nodded. “A letter written by my husband himself, still sealed, ordering his men to join Danceaster and not my brother.”

“Where is it?”

“Lord Medwin has it, he stole it for me.” Beocca stared at her with wide eyes, before looking away, remaining deep in his thoughts. But there wasn’t time for big reflexions. “Father please. I need your help.”

She didn’t know if it was her words or Thyra’s intense glare that convinced him, but he finally accepted and after midday, she found herself, Medwin by her side, in King Alfred’s office. She took a brief look to the room, shelves filled with parchments standing everywhere. When her eyes fell on Medwin, he seemed as amazed as her, which was really strange on him, giving him a more childish expression. She turned around when the door opened, revealing Alfred and Beocca and Steapa at his sides. Saegyth and Medwin bowed in front of the King almost in sinc before he spoke. 

“Lady Saegyth, Lord Medwin, I have to admit that your request for a meeting intrigues me.” He said, his hands joined in front of him. “You affirm that Lord Wolstan plans to betray your brother.” He continued, his deep eyes now on Saegyth. “To betray Wessex.”

“I do.” She replied, straightening her shoulders and trying to look the most confident she could. “Lord Medwin has a letter to prove it.”

The Lord stepped forward, getting the letter out of his cloak, still sealed, and handed it to the King. Alfred curiously looked at the paper, then Saegyth and finally opened. As he read the letter, a small tension started to darken his face. He walked to the huge table in the middle of the room, resting the document on it. "Is that all? Does he simply expect to join the Danes without no one understanding his betrayal?"

"His plan is much more complex, Lord King." She shared a brief glance with Medwin whomst with a little nod encouraged her to continue. So, she explained to Alfred her theory about Wolstan's plan. How he was intending to betray both the Danes and her brother, using her as a way to take the Regency of Dorset. Once she was done, Alfred remained silent, but there wasn't time for those long silence too. "Lord King, we need your help." 

"I will summon the Witan." He finally said and she let out a sigh of relief. "But we won't be ready to march until at least two days." 

"But we don't have time, we need to warn and bring men to my brother before it's too late." She replied. 

"That's the only way, Lady." 

Saegyth was about to reply but Medwin stopped her, his hand grabbing her shoulder. "Then, Lord King, please let us leave Winchester tonight and gather some men on our way to Dorchester." 

She looked at him with wide eyes, gathering men on their way would mean having silver to pay them, which she hadn't and didn't expect Medwin to spend for this cause. Though, he briefly looked at her, assuring her he knew what he was doing. 

"Alright, I will send a messenger to Dorchester with the outcome of the Witan." 

Medwin and Saegyth both agreed and the King dismissed them. As soon as they were in the corridor, she grabbed his arm to stop him. "How do you plan on finding those men?"

"Alehouses are full of mercenaries." He shrugged with his usual cold tone. 

"They won't do it for free!" 

"That's why I'll pay them, Lady, with my silver. That's the least I can do." He said and she eased her grip on his arm. 

She crossed her owns against her chest. "You already did a lot." 

"But it would have been for nothing if we don't succeed." 

She looked down to her feet before nodding. While they were readying their horses later, she promised to find a way to repay him, to thank him for all he had done. And he laughed, a strange and loud laugh so uncharacteristic of him that it almost shocked her.

"I don't ask anything in return, Lady." He answered, his laugh vanishing as fast as it appeared. "You owe me nothing. I'll find my own satisfaction in watching him fall." He added. 

Saegyth frowned, but before she could ask more about it, someone called her. She turned around and perceived Leofwynn in the stables' doorway, holding a bag. 

"I brought you some food." She smiled and joined Saegyth near her horse. 

She thanked her when she handed her the bag, quite heavy. "There's food for a month!" She chuckled. 

Leofwynn smiled and stepped closer to whisper. "I went to a brothel and one of the women gave me a decoction to prevent any pregnancy." The servant seemed uncomfortable as she spoke, her cheeks reddening. "I hope you won't find it inappropriate, but I supposed no woman would like to bear the child of a trai-"

She didn't even have the time to finish her sentence that Saegyth pulled her in tight hug. "Thank you, Leofwynn. Thank you very much." When she moved away the servant was smiling widely. "I will see you again once all of this is over." 

"I will pray for your success, Lady." She promised, holding her hands in hers. 

An hour later, Lord Medwin and her were out of Winchester, taking the road to Dorchester. They chose to not take the Roman roads, not wanting to take the risk of crossing Wolstan. As they galloped, Saegyth forgot the weight of the responsibility she had on her shoulders and just enjoyed the feel of the wind on her face. The outcome of this journey was uncertain but she could only hope it would be a good one. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The headache that it gave me to plan Wolstan intentions 😩 I hope it makes sense because it was a real puzzle lmaoo 
> 
> A little of Finan as well, I didn't have much to say about his time in Dorchester, but the idea of a confrontation against Aelwulf was teasing me ahah
> 
> I hope you like this chapter! And as usual, thank you for the comments and kudos it's always good to have opinions and feedbacks <3


	22. Chapter 22

Part 22

"Now will you help the Lady?"

The sound of two pieces of silver falling on the table resounded and the eyes of the two men enlightened. One was Welsh, Saegyth had guessed by his thick accent, his face marked by a bad scar snaking from his left eye to right cheek. He looked terrifying and without Medwin by her side, and despite the sword hanging on her belt, she wasn't even sure she would have approached him. The other was younger, thinner but had undoubtedly clever eyes, observing every of their movements. It reminded her of Sihtric, the way he seemed to always catch the smallest details. That was what was making him a good spy, a talent Uhtred wanted to exploit more in the young Dane. 

The older grabbed a piece and made it turn between his fingers, studying it almost lazily now, while the younger seemed more mesmerized. "That's all we'll have?" He asked.

"You'll have more if you help Lord Aelwulf." Saegyth answered, tilting her head. 

The welshman narrowed his eyes. "I've learned to not trust the words of too pretty ladies." 

Saegyth rolled her eyes, in the three days they'd been riding, she had stopped counting how many men had lacked trust towards a woman. Fortunately, silver was quick to make their mind change. 

The younger whispered something in the other’s ears, making him frown. "You already have men with you?" 

"A dozen." Medwin replied to him. 

"That's not enough to win against the Danes. I've heard they were quite the number." He spoke, now playing with the second piece of silver. 

"We are gathering forces to reinforce Dorset's army, King Alfred will join with his own forces soon enough." Saegyth explained before resting her hands flat on the table, tired of the conversation and impatient to take back the road. "Are you joining or not?" 

The man grinned widely, revealing missing teeth. "We are." 

Saegyth smiled with a small satisfied nod. "Then you can keep this silver. We are leaving now." 

In a small matter of time the Welsh, now known as Cadwgan, and the boy, Glaedwine, joined their wee army of mercenaries and took back their roads to Dorchester. In a year fighting for Uhtred, Saegyth had gotten used to travelling with men. Sometimes Hild would join them, but the nun’s pious soul was inciting her to less and less accompany them. The Lady had never feared the Lord of Coccham's men, she knew them all and part of them were her closest friends and one even her lover. No, she had never feared a bunch of strong warriors who behind ugly scars and a rough language could often hide kinder men. 

But mercenaries were different. When Uhtred's men had faith in him and were loyal to only him, mercenaries' loyalty was only to silver. She couldn't help but doubt every of the men riding with them, even if Medwin was confident. 

They established their camp before sunset, a few fires now illuminating the clearing. Saegyth stared at the flames, her cloak wrapped tightly around her shoulders, eating her bread slowly. The coldness of the end of summer was falling as fast as the leaves from the trees, and the heat from the fire and her clothes was a welcomed one. 

"Twenty men, it isn't many." She said, trying not to sound too disappointed by what they had succeeded in three days. 

"Twenty warriors, Lady." Medwin corrected her, sitting at the other side of the campfire. "It's just a reinforcement, in case the Danes come sooner than expected. The real army is King Alfred's one." He poked the fire with a branch. "And too many men wouldn't have gone unnoticed." 

Saegyth sighed, but agreed with him. In three days she hadn't stopped worrying about the men, on what would happen once they would be at Dorchester, if King Alfred would really join. Medwin had kept telling her it would go well, but she couldn't help but overthink again and again. Even the only outcome that seemed certain was making her nervous, she'd find Finan again and if she only wanted to sink into his embrace and forget everything, would he want her? She had not only broken his heart, but also lied to him. Finan owed her nothing, he could perfectly be already in another woman's bed. Her fingers found the ribbon again, he had claimed more than once that he loved her, but what could hold him to her when she was now married to another.

Overthink again, again and again.

She shook her head and decided to keep her attention on her friend at the other side of the fire. Even if they'd been riding for three days together, Medwin was still a mystery to her and she was curious to know a little more about her former brother-in-law, especially on one subject. 

"You didn't tell me how you knew so much about Lady Aengifu." She said, bringing her knees to her chest. "I can't believe it's only rumours you heard." 

Medwin was silent for a moment, his face dark and Saegyth started to regret bringing the subject. She opened her mouth to apologise but he finally spoke. "She and I had known each other since we were young. She always had a dear place in my heart." 

Saegyth frowned, remembering the affair Lady Aengifu got with another man. "Are you?" She hesitated to ask but Medwin understood without her needing to say more.

"No. No I'm not, this man is long dead. The feeling wasn't shared in the same way." He lazily answered, his eyes lost in the flames. "I fear I'm not a man to be loved."

It was undeniable, Lord Medwin was a strange man, cold with a face seemingly fidgeted in marble and making almost impossible to show any other expression. But he also was undoubtedly a good man behind the appearance, nothing like his brother to whom the shadow seemed to constantly hover over him. When their eyes met, there was a melancholy animating his. 

"You are too hard with yourself, Medwin." She said softly, saying simply his name for the first time. "You'll find the good one." 

He chuckled, and again it sounded strange, looking down to the ground. He exhaled loudly and raised his chin again. "Have you Lady?"

Saegyth paused, fingers toying with Finan's ribbon. She closed her eyes and it was his mischievous smirk that she saw. How much she missed it. 

"I hope."

…

"I don't really understand, Lady. You're betraying your husband." 

"Who himself is betraying Wessex." 

"Aye, but he is still your husband."

Saegyth rolled her eyes as Cadwgan stared at her from his horse's back. The Welshman didn't seem to fully understand the reason for her trip to Dorchester and her need for men. 

"Wives should be faithful to their husbands. Not only in bed." He commented, pointing an accusing finger to her and she scoffed. Like all men were bothering following that command. 

"If you disagree with my unholy goals, why did you join, then?" She asked, hands on her hips.

"Because he is even more unholy, Lady." Glaedwine replied cheerfully, his chestnut locks moving in the wind as he chuckled. 

"Shut your mouth!" He barked at the boy, his hand grabbing the cross around his neck, murmuring a small prayer. 

Glaedwine shook his head. "He doubts every Saxon he crosses the way, Lady, do not worry." 

"Why is he in Wessex then?" 

"That's where the silver is."

The boy had a point, Wessex was the richest Kingdom of all England. So she simply nodded, praying Cadwgan would let her alone for their last day of ride. If she was right, they'd be there before sunset, unless the rain decided to fall before, a threatening dark cloud emerging from the horizon. 

"That's a storm." One of the mercenaries muttered, grabbing the hammer hanging to his neck. She had noticed Uhtred doing it over the years, and even more Sihtric. Then, he turned to look at Saegyth, grinning and deforming some of the tattoos on his face. "Thor is at your side, Lady." 

"Threatening me with a storm?" She questioned, dubious but not less curious, her eyebrow rising slightly. 

"He wants to scare the shit out of all those who'll see us coming with the storm, thunder making ground tremble." He explained with exaggerated moves. 

Saegyth chuckled. "I don't have the intention to scare my brother." She explained the Dane.

"Of course, we'll show him we are the strongest warriors he has never seen." He smirked then turned on his saddle toward the other warriors. "Aren't we?!" He shouted proudly. "The scariest warriors they've ever seen!"

The men answered with excitement, raising their weapons toward the sky. Saegyth glanced to Medwin who only gave her an approval nod. Over their now five days of ride, the men surprisingly bonded together, despite their very different origins and beliefs. All of them were excited by the fight in coming, and the silver they'd win at the end. She was glad they seemed to enjoy each other, having to temper twenty strong warriors was the last thing she needed. 

As the Dane predicted, they reached Dorchester's gates with the storm, a torrential rain falling and lightning breaking the darkness. The giant doors were closed when they stopped in front, few guards staring at them from a tower, she guessed they took them for a threat. So she jumped down from her horse and looked up to the guards.

"I am Lady Saegyth of Dorchester and I wish to speak with my brother, Lord Aelwulf." She shouted loud enough for the sound to reach them despite the thunder.

"Who are those men?" One replied. 

She briefly looked behind her. "My men, only here to help. Will you let me in?!" 

The guards talked for a moment before one shouted finally back. "You can, Lady, but no weapons are allowed!"

The mercenaries weren't pleased, but did it obediently. She hoped they wouldn't cause any problem, but she asked Glaedwine to search for Clapa, describing him as the giant he was with a white moustache. In all her friends, she thought he was the one the less unnoticeable. So, if anything had to happen, she knew her friends would know who they were and that she was here.

Saegyth and Medwin joined the castle, soaked to the bone. The first servant they crossed told her Aelwulf was dining with his guests. She didn't bother to hear more, rushing to the room, knowing the castle by heart. Nothing much had changed. She opened the doors abruptly, a loud bang cutting short the discussion happening in the room. All the people stared at her with wide eyes, she must look terrible, with her wet cloak, her hair tangled and her face probably dirty and red because of the chill. 

Aelwulf rose from his chair at the end of the table, utterly surprised. "Saegyth? What are you doing here?" He then looked at Medwin at her side. "Where's your husband?" 

"Not here." She replied dryly. "In fact, he will never come." 

Saegyth caught Uhtred's gaze from where he was sitting, at her brother's side. He as well was confused by her presence, but seemed even more by her words. 

"What do you mean?" Aelwulf asked, now walking towards her. 

She waited until he was in front of her, lifting her chin and standing proudly in front of him. "Wolstan has been plotting against you, and against the Dane. All of it to get Dorset's Regency." 

The blond man was stunned, his jaw twitching. But he leaned down to her. "If you're saying that to put an end to your marriage and our alliance, Saegyth-" 

"How dare you?" She was offended. "I am your sister! How can you doubt my words!" He only grimaced, taking a step back. She fighted the want to scoff and kept talking. "Doubt me if you want. But King Alfred has already sent a letter that will tell you the exact same thing."

"That's nonsense." He just muttered while the others, still at the table, were whispering. "We had an agreement." 

"That he broke. Father already doubted him, and I remembered you about it." 

"How do you know all of this?"

Saegyth crossed her arms. "I found a letter ordering his men to join Danceaster, not you." 

"Christ." He grumbled. "Fuck!" He barked then, his fist hitting the table, startling everyone in the room. 

Saegyth took a sharp breath, not used to seeing so much anger in her brother. She shared a glance with Medwin and immediately Aelwulf drove his attention toward him. 

"And you? What are you doing here?"

"He helped me." Saegyth replied at his place, standing between the two men. "He helped me to steal the letter to give it to King Alfred and to gather men to help you."

But Aelwulf was barely listening to her, too furious and probably feeling as an idiot for having been fooled. He stepped back again, a hand gripping his hair, gritting his teeth. From the corner of her eyes, she noticed a woman standing up and walking towards them, her brother's wife she guessed. She kindly, despite the worry due to the situation, smiled at Saegyth and Medwin. 

"You're welcomed here, and we thank you both for the long travel you did to warn us. You should take some rest, as everyone here." The brunette said, her voice soft and firm at the same time. 

She had never met her before, but she was pleased to see she knew her brother well, until he hadn't calmed down, there would be nothing to make him understand. The room emptied quickly, Aelwulf sitting in a chair to bury his face between his hands, and even though she still felt bitter towards her brother, she couldn help the pity to rise in her heart. Aelwulf's wife took her arms and walked with her to the doors, closing them behind her and Medwin. She asked a servant to ready dry clothes and rooms for them before turning again toward the two travellers. 

"Give him the night to accept what happened." She almost begged Saegyth. "Tomorrow, he will listen." 

"We don't have time." She said, though she knew she was right. 

Aelwulf's wife didn't say more, her gaze caught by someone behind. Saegyth turned around and smiled at Uhtred. She thanked her sister-in-law for the chambers and clothes and joined her friend.

"A warrior and now commander of an army?" The Dane said with a cheeky smile. 

Saegyth laughed. "If you can call it an army." 

Uhtred's hands found her shoulders, squeezing them as the cheeky smile disappeared to let space to a genuine one. "I'm happy you escaped from him." 

The lady sighed. "Somehow I wished it wasn't for such dark reasons."

There was a silence before Uhtred spoke again. "You said Alfred would send a message, but what will he do?" 

"He said he would summon the Witan and march in two days before we left.” She explained.

“And the letter you have stolen, Wolstan won’t notice it?”

Saegyth shook her vigorously. “I gave us a little more time by writing a false letter to replace the original and asking his men to wait a few days before joining Danceaster." 

Uhtred nodded. "Take some rest." He finally said squeezing her shoulders before starting to walk away. 

But before he disappeared in a corridor, Saegyth couldn't help but call after him. "Uhtred!" He turned around, an eyebrow raised. She hesitated before asking, taking a deep breath. "Finan?"

Uhtred smiled again, and her worry seemed to vanish suddenly. "He misses you."

"I have to see him."

"He'll find you." 

…

Saegyth was standing in what used to be her bedroom when she was still living in the castle. Nothing had changed but she didn't find the desire to sink into her childhood memories. She was too troubled by tomorrow and by what Uhtred told her : Finan would find her. But when? She hid more under the covers, relishing the warmth of them after sleeping out for almost a week. 

She didn't enjoy it much longer, knocks at her door urging her to get up. She grabbed the shawl hanging on a chair and wrapped it around her shoulders before finally joining the door. She knew who was behind, however she couldn't help but hesitate. She took a deep breath only to have it cut once she opened the door. 

Finan was standing in the doorway, as stunned as her, the few days they'd been separated being enough to change his face. His beard had grown out of control, his hair was tangled and she could barely imagine the time it would take to have it done. There were dark marks under his eyes, his features pulled by exhaustion. She felt guilty, knowing she was the reason for it. 

"I'm sorry." Was all she could whisper, fighting tears to fall down her cheeks. 

Tears of guilt but also of joy to finally see him and of relief because she felt like she was making a first step out of this nightmare. And as he stepped forward, stretching his arms to take her in his embrace, she couldn't hold them back anymore. The door closed behind him and he held her tight and close while she was sobbing, her hands gripping his shoulders desperately, too scared to feel him disappear if she didn't. 

"It's alright, I'm here." He whispered, and she noticed how his voice was shaking as well. 

She couldn't tell how long they had been hugging each other, but at each passing minute, she realized there weren't any other places she could feel safer. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE BABIES ARE BACK TOGETHER !! 
> 
> Nothing more to say beside things might finally get better hehe and that i love adding some side characters and be attached to them after three lines about them lmao
> 
> Thank you for reading lovelies <3


	23. Chapter 23

A pleasant silence only disturbed by the sound of the storm outside, thunder cracking and lighting the bedroom regularly, was reigning in the room. Saegyth was half asleep in Finan's arms, her cheeks still red after all her cries. He kissed the top of her head, nuzzling her hair, just to be sure it was real. They hadn't talked yet, simply held each other and tried to realise they were together again. 

Eventually, she whispered, her voice barely audible as her hand travelled slowly on his arm. “I'm sorry for not telling you before.” 

Finan took a deep breath, he didn't know what to answer. He was upset she had said nothing until he had found out by himself but he knew at her place, he probably wouldn't have done better. And in all honesty, he was too pleased to have her in his arms again to start an argument. “It's alright.”

She shook her head and pushed away from him, Finan tried to pull her back against him but she grabbed his hands before. She held them tight, knelt between his legs. “I shouldn't have told you to leave.” She said, her eyes locked on their joined hands. 

He huffed. “Like ya had other choices.”

She looked up to him, frowning slightly. “Why aren't you angry at me?”

“I was.” He admitted. “But it doesn't matter now. We're here. Together.” He removed his hands from hers to put them at each side of her face. She bowed her head, her forehead resting against his softly, while he moved a strand of her hair back behind her ear. “I've missed ya so much.”

She didn't answer, but she pressed her lips against his and Finan felt like he was finally breathing again. Her kiss was as soft and shy than their first, that night during the early spring. Finan shifted to deepen their kiss, his palm curving around her waist. He guided her on his lap and his fingers curled on the fabric of her nightgown, pulling it up slightly on her thigh. He felt her stiffen under his touch, in a way that hadn’t happened in months. He immediately moved his hand away, stopping kissing her to search her gaze, but she avoided his eyes, her teeth sinking in the tender flesh of her lower lip. Finan’s hand cupped the side of her face, his thumb brushing her cheek. 

“Saegyth?” He called her softly. She only swallowed hard and it made him clenched his jaw as he understood. “Did he hurt ya?” He asked, trying his best to not betray the anger he felt at the simple idea that Wolstan could have had.

She hesitated, her eyes still averting his. “I'm his wife, Finan.” She just answered, her hand nervously fisting her skirt. “He has every right.” 

“Over my dead body.” Finan grumbled. “When I'll see him I'll beat the shit out of him.”

Saegyth huffed with a false smile. “I think King Alfred has the priority on that.” 

“Well, I'll politely ask his Greatness King Alfred of Wessex if I can slaughter this turd.” He wryly replied and felt satisfied at her low and soft chuckle it provoked. 

She tiredly sighed and Finan pulled her down to lay beside him. He let her settle comfortably, and didn't object when she grabbed his hand to invite him to wrap his arm around her waist. ‘Stay for the night, please.’ She whispered, though he didn't even think about the possibility to leave. 

“I will.”

Finan only left before sunrise, to not be caught walking out of Saegyth bedroom's. He went back to the alehouse they’ve been sleeping for the past days, quite reluctantly. He barely made a step inside that Sihtric caught him, pulling him to the table he was sitting with Clapa. 

“How is she?” The young Dane asked.

“Fine.” He answered but he doubted his own words. They hadn’t talked much, and he knew she wouldn’t tell him everything until some time, at least the end of all this mess. However, Finan didn’t share his doubts and instead stared at the young boy sitting with other men at the other side of the room. He had interpellated them the eve, affirming that Saegyth was in the city. Finan had hardly believed him, but when Uhtred had come back with the same news, adding that her husband had betrayed Aelwulf, he had run to the castle. “Have ya learn somethin’ about them?” He asked his two friends.

“They are all mercenaries, saxons and danes mostly, all paid with Lord Medwin’s silver.” Sihtric explained, glancing at Clapa.

Finan frowned, if he was right, Medwin was Saegyth’s first husband’s brother. They’d never been great friends and he was utterly curious to understand how they ended up allying themselves. But for the moment, Finan was doubting the loyalty of the men they hired. All his interrogations got answers only later in the morning, when Uhtred fetched him for a war council Aelwulf ordered to organize. Finan was now standing in the room they’d been dining at and organizing their attack on Danceaster during the past days, Saegyth in front of him with Medwin. Her gaze was soft on him while he studied mistrustingly the man and he tried to look away. The Lord of Dorchester was sitting on a chair at the end of the table, with the air of an injured man, holding a letter while another was resting in front of him.

“This is a letter from King Alfred.” He said, agitating the one in his hand and Finan noticed how Saegyth’s straightened her shoulders. “His army is marching to Christchurch to intercept Lord Wolstan.”

The two siblings stared at each other, a silent conversation working between them, and Finan couldn’t tell if it was a good or a bad thing. Of what he had heard, Aelwulf didn’t greet his sister warmly when she had arrived, even though she had literally brought an information that would save his lands. 

“That's good news.” Uhtred commented and Aelwulf turned his gaze to him with a shake of his head.

“This other letter is from a bunch of men I sent to scout.” He explained taking the paper on the table. “The Danes are marching toward Dorchester.”

There’s a heavy silence in the room before a sudden rise of whispers. Saegyth immediately stepped away from her place to make herself visible from all, catching all the attention. She stood proudly in the middle of the room and Finan couldn’t help but feel impressed by her stature, not an inch of the broken woman he had held during the night, rocking her until her sobs had faded, appearing. No matter how down she was, Saegyth always seemed to find a strength in her to keep standing. 

“Then we must march, to meet them the further possible from Dorchester, on a ground to our advantage.” She declared, raising her chin to look taller than she was.

Everyone in the room seemed to agree with her, and only Aelwulf remained silent, his fingers drumming on the armrest. He shifted and with narrowed eyes he leaned forward. “But we are few. We won’t defeat the Danes.”

“There’s my men.”

“Twenty mercenaries.” He snapped, tilting his head.

“They are better than nothing. King Alfred will join the battle, but we need to leave Dorchester or it will be too late when he’ll arrive.” She stepped toward the table and when she was close enough, she put her hands flat on hit, and it felt like they both forgot the presence of other people in the room as they challenged each other. 

“And who will warn King Alfred of the battleground.”

“I will.” 

Finan couldn’t help the wave of worry to wash over him at the idea of letting her travel in a land in war and mostly to meet King Alfred who would keep imprisoned her bastard husband by then. He knew it was quite an unfounded anxiety, that she was able to do that on her own, and maybe it was just his will to hurt Wolstan as much as he had hurt her, that pushed him to want to go with her. 

After a deep breath, Aelwulf stood up. “Alright, you’ll go. And we will march tomorrow morning.”

…

The whole afternoon was filled with planning their departure next morning and discussing the battleground. Trusting the scouts' words, they should meet the Danes in three days of ride down south. Everything would go fast, and there was no time to waste. Saegyth was overwhelmed by anxiety, all the possibilities, especially the one having the most horrible endings, playing in her mind. It’s only at nightfall, sitting by the fire of her bedroom on a stool, Finan on the floor between her legs, that she relaxed, focused on the braids she was making in his hair. Once she was done with the second, only one third of his hair still undone, Finan lifted his head and she let her hand graze over his neck and down his chest before leaning to kiss him. 

Things were still very silent between them, she knew Finan had hundreds of questions, however he was waiting for her to be ready, not rushing her. But Saegyth wondered if she would ever be, as much as she wanted to be rid of this pain soon, she knew it would be a long recovery, again. 

“ _ Mo ghrá _ ?” He called her after she’d been silent, her gaze lost, for too long. 

The delicate touch of his fingertips on her cheek brought her back to reality and she smiled weakly. “Sorry, I was in my thoughts.”

“It’s alright.” He took her hand, squeezing it tenderly and it almost made her cry again.

It had been just a few days, but she had been so sure that she would never receive such affection again, only the cold and disgusting touch of a husband she disliked. She felt bad when she noticed how careful Finan was, not wanting to startle her. She knew he had nothing to do with what Wolstan did to her, and would never do it himself, but she couldn’t help but still feel him everywhere. And this time she couldn’t help the tear to roll on her cheek as her throat tightened.

Finan immediately shifted on his knees, kneeling in front of her. “Hey, Saegyth.” He cupped her face between his hands while she wiped her eyes. 

“I’m so sorry you had to endure all of this, because of me.” She sobbed.

Finan shook his head vigorously. “Don’t ya dare be. It wasn’t your fault.”

“I broke your heart.” She whispered, her fingers wandering over his chest.

Finan huffed, smiling broadly. “And what? Are ya goin’ to tell me ya’re a witch that purposely bewitched me and is now regrettin’ it?” She couldn’t help but laugh through her tears, wondering what she had done to deserve such a man. “Listen, we’ll go through this next few days and then, we’ll take all the time needed to get things better.” He said more seriously but non less softly. 

“I don’t know how long it will take.” She admitted, trying to avoid his eyes, but somehow they always seemed to hold hers. 

“I’ll be waitin’ for ya.” He whispered. “Always.”

…

“Do ya trust him?” 

“Who?”

“Medwin.”

Saegyth suddenly stopped to tie Finan’s chestplate to look up to him. It was morning now, a soft orange light overwhelming her bedroom through the window. She had barely slept of the night, but having Finan by her side at least calmed her. But as the moment to leave approached, and mostly the one for them to separate again, Finan was the one starting to be anxious. 

“I do. He helped me. And I’m not going alone with him, I’m taking two of my men with us.” She answered, working on the laces again.

“Mercenaries.” He grumbled, pretending to remove a stain on the shining blade of his dagger before hanging it back to his belf. 

Saegyth stopped again and this time waited for him to look at her to speak. “Are you doubting my choice, Finan?” She asked him, an eyebrow raised.

Finan rolled his eyes, heaving a breath. “No it’s them that I don’t trust.”

“I travelled with them.” She finished to tie his armour and then moved to take her own belt, littering on her bed, and hang it around her hips. “And everything went perfectly well.”

“Men change when battle comes.” He replied in a darker tone. 

She sighed tiredly, she knew why he was so weary about those men, that he just wanted her to be safe. But acting to protect her birth lands was the only thing that was making her feel strong and proud. And mostly, she wanted to show her brother she was more than a pretty woman, only good to be married, but a warrior, trained to fight for her people. 

She stepped toward Finan, her hands resting on his arms. “Everything will be fine. I have been trained by the best Irish warrior that ever walked on the earth.” She teased him.

Finan chuckled lowly, a sound that she dearly missed. “As I’ve been told.” She frowned and he smirked mischievously, leaning down a little. “Apparently, ya seem quite fond of me in your letters.”

Saegyth couldn’t help the rise of blush on her cheeks as she pinched her lips together. “Who told you that?”

Finan’s grin fell to let a annoyed expression take place. “Your brother himself.” He paused, rubbing the back of his neck. “He knows for us.” 

“Everything?” 

“I don’t know.” He shrugged.

She nodded, the thought of the long conversation she’d have to have with her brother troubling her already. “I don’t know what to think of him anymore.” She admitted sadly. 

She had looked up to her brother all her life. She had admired and loved him with all her heart, finding in him the only family she could still trust, but now she couldn’t feel anything but anger and disappointment. 

“I won’t lie, I really think your brother is a turd.” She huffed with amusement, not surprised by his thoughts. “But right now, he’s on our side.” She looked up to him, this time surprised by the wisdom, if it could be qualified by that, of his words. “Let’s first beat the shit out of the even bigger turd that is Wolstan and those Danes, then, we’ll deal with your brother.”

“Sounds like a good plan.” She smiled, tilting her head.

“Obviously, I’ve made it.” He grinned and she shook her head.

Now that they were ready, Finan discreetly left the castle to join Uhtred and the others while Saegyth waited a little longer in her bedroom. It was the final stretch that was drawn, in a day she would leave her brother’s army to find King Alfred with Medwin, Cadwgan and Glaedwine and finally the battle that had been planned in so many ways would happen.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOD WE'VE REACHED THE 100 KUDDOS!! It wasn't intended but it really is a perfect christmas gift from yall!
> 
> Sorry for the long time it took me to update, i've got exams and I've been working on a story that i'll start posting next year eheh (a Finan x OC inspired by The Old Guard universe, my mind went crazy on this one ngl, but I love it so far, and I hope yall will!)
> 
> Thank you again for all the kuddos; comments and hits! It warms my heart and I hope yall had a good christmas for those celebrating it <3


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